Was i unreasonable and needy to go in a mood?

[RedRoses303]

Hi, i'm a 25 years old and my boyfriend is 24.
We've been together for about a year and 7 months.
We havent seen each other in a month due to the lockdown. None of us are key workers; currently working at home.

Everything has been fine between us, we've been quite happy on our video calls. But today he was quite snappy on the phone, saying he's worried about everything and nobody is taking him seriously. I tried to give him my best advice of it's totally normal to feel this way and understandable and that I dont really know what to say to make him feel better but wish I could give him a cuddle and a kiss. And he said I was annoying him and that he'll speak to me later.

He then sent me a message saying how it wasnt my fault and he's sorry but he's a bit overwhelmed and then mentioned something personal he's scared about.
I wrote a long paragraph back and he saw it and ignored.
I then messages him 3 hours later asking if everything was okay, he said "yeah fine babe" and i sent him a picture of something i had achieved today (i completed my course i was doing online) he saw it and ignored it.
I rang him about 10pm no answer.
I then told him i felt i was being ignored and that i've said something wrong during the call or something.
He then told me not to be silly and he loves me so much and he's just overwhelmed tonight.
So.i've left him to it saying goodnight,
But cant help feeling i've been a bit overreacty :(

Actually, I think he's in the wrong here.

If he had acknowledged your message (in response to his), it would have ended there.

Ime, people are only needy (hate that!), if their needs aren't being met. And if your needs aren't being met, why be in that relationship.

Maybe he just needed a day to himself to process things? You do sound quite needy and need to respect when people need space not constantly bombard them with messages and complaining.

I tried to give him my best advice of it's totally normal to feel this way and understandable and that I dont really know what to say to make him feel better

It sounds like he just needed to vent and get things off his chest and you tried to offer advice to “fix” the problem.
It’s understandable to want to reassure the person but sometimes it does the world of good to have a bit of a vent and the other person just say yeah that sounds shit I’m sorry rather then have you tried X Y Z or everyone feels that way at the minute.
Well done for completing your course, but maybe it would have been kinder to talk to him another day about it rather then on a day when he was struggling.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all for him to spend time with his mates rather than responding to you exactly when you want him to, especially if he's already told you he's feeling overwhelmed. Are you often resentful of him spending time with others?

I don't think you're being needy at all.

He was rude to you on the phone, ignored your messages and basically didn't bother to contact you at all for the rest of the day. If he wanted to drink and relax with his friends, he could easily have said so, rather than flat out ignore you.

My experience is similar to a PP in that people are often needy when their needs aren't being met for whatever reason. I hope you're okay

He told you he was scared and overwhelmed and that he didn't want your advice as you were annoying him which he them apologised for and said he would talk to you later. You then sent him a long paragraph, text message, a picture and called him. He asked you very clearly to leave him alone for a bit and you ignored his request and pestered him. Very needy.

He was rude to you on the phone, ignored your messages and basically didn't bother to contact you at all for the rest of the day.

Did he ignore her/not bother to contact her or did he spend time with his mates? There's nothing worse than one of a group constantly being on the phone to their GF/BF. There's no need to respond immediately to every message.

YABU, he was having a bad day, he probably didnt feel much like chatting and said as much but you continued to pester him because you wanted attention, you're overthinking it. Move on.
Oh and @AnneOfTeenFables didnt ask you about social distancing, she asked about social interaction.

But i didnt continue to pester him. He got annoyed with me on the phone and on the phone said he would talk later. After a bit, he sent me a message saying sorry and how rubbish he feels. I then basically said i understood and that it must be rubbish when he feels nobody is taking him seriously (shorter version).

A few hours later, i sent a.message asking if he was feeling any better (as he would with me if i was upset),
He said he was okay and he told me earlier in the day that he wasnt drinking, so i thought id give him a call (as he has done with me in the past, tried to call to see how i was),

I then sent him my certificate after i completed my course as i was happy about that. He saw it, no response.

I then messaged basically saying i felt a bit ignored and that it was not hard to respond to my message even just to say he was busy.
He then said he was drinking with his mates and had been driving them around before then.

We are fine now and he doesnt find me needy at all so i feel fine. Mumsnet seems quite an angry place where people get a bit rude for no reason
After one post, some people have made it sound like i am like this 24/7 when it was a one-off incident that I was seeking clarity about.

Thank you to those who gave me great, constructive advice without getting personal, negative or bitchy. It seems some people on mumsnet are saints and have never gone in unreasonable moods or made mistakes.
I wont be returning as i feel some people are being rude for no reason.

But i thank those of you who gave great advice!
Thank you so much. It really helped me see another perspective to my own.

And btw I obviously made a mistake with saying 'social distancing' instead of social interaction.