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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has had Covid-19, keeps wanting to meet

55 replies

Usernamqwerty · 18/04/2020 21:44

My friend has been unwell with Coronavirus. Not tested but 99% certain she had it. She's had no symptoms now for two weeks but keeps asking if she can meet up as apparently she's now immune 😬. I am unsure about the science of this and struggle to understand whether she is immune.

I can't take the risk of her possibly infecting us, but it's pissing me off that she keeps asking to "accidentally" end up in the same park as us, but stay two metres apart (not that we are visiting parks anyway!!). I feel sorry for her as she lives alone and works from home and is lonely. AIBU to just keep saying no?

OP posts:
Lougle · 18/04/2020 21:47

No, she doesn't know she's immune. Even the WHO isn't sure if people are immune. You can't meet up.

bobbiester · 18/04/2020 21:47

Even if she hadn't been unwell you should still say NO!!!

YANBU

Original poster
Usernamqwerty · 18/04/2020 21:49

Phew, thanks!

OP posts:
recycledteenager24 · 18/04/2020 21:49

no, you can't meet up, she's lonely but that is not your fault, you can still face time can't you ?

Jjjjjj1981 · 18/04/2020 21:51

No, don’t do it. It’s still not known how long someone may still be able to pass the virus on after they’ve recovered. I read somewhere it could possibly be many weeks in some cases.

bengalcat · 18/04/2020 21:52

No .

Titsywoo · 18/04/2020 21:53

My neighbour keeps insisting we can do stuff together as she has "had it". She doesn't know that for certain nor that she is immune nor that she has stopped shedding the virus! Drives me mad.

Istical · 18/04/2020 21:53

I'm also 99% sure I've had it, but I'm still playing along with the lockdown game until a test (haha!) because of the 1% chance I haven't. I'm afraid your friend isn't exempt either, although I do appreciate her frustration.

Toothsil · 18/04/2020 21:54

I wouldn't, apart from anything else, we're not supposed to be meeting up with anyone. DH's best friend has it, thought he was over it, went back to work and then the symptoms returned with a vengeance and he was even worse than the first time.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 18/04/2020 21:54

It she wasn’t tested I'm sorry but she isn’t 99% sure she had it ffs! She can think she had it but no way 99% sure 🙄

Just tell the silly bitch you won’t be meeting, god it’s like dealing with over grown toddlers this pandemic

Elieza · 18/04/2020 21:55

I wouldn’t. It’s your life/the lives of your family that’s at risk.

It’s just not worth it.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 18/04/2020 21:57

No one knows if you are immune after having it. There's even some question now of whether it can remain dormant for some time after symptoms vanish which would mean she may still be able to pass it on.

MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately · 18/04/2020 21:57

Of course yanbu. Why don't you have the courage of your convictions on something so straightforward?

Original poster
Usernamqwerty · 18/04/2020 21:58

Thanks so much. I do struggle with assertiveness x

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 18/04/2020 21:58

Is she a bit thick?

Daftodil · 18/04/2020 22:06

Tell her to stop asking! "Sorry, until you know for sure that you've had it and until you know for sure that you can't pass it on, please stop asking to meet. I don't want to keep having the same conversation as one or both of us is going to get upset & we're already in a stressful situation."

Original poster
Usernamqwerty · 18/04/2020 22:06

No, just lonely.

OP posts:
Leaannb · 18/04/2020 22:09

Nobody knows if they are immune and if she wasn't tested there is no way to know for certain that she has had it

LilacTree1 · 18/04/2020 22:11

No one will be able to say they’ve had it soon

Unless they’re okay with being treated like a leper

msmith501 · 18/04/2020 22:12

All of the scientific data currently suggests that people are not becoming immune to the virus as was originally thought / hoped. People are succumbing to it more than once. With so little known for certain, why would your friend think it is okay to take a risk with her life and that of you and you immediate family? The way to perhaps make her see sense is that for many of us, what she is suggesting is along to drink driving or smoking in front of children. It's just not something that decent people do. It's not acceptable and it's not debatable.

thepeopleversuswork · 18/04/2020 22:14

Nope. There's a major question mark as to whether having had COVID-19 actually confers immunity and in any case she can't be sure she's had it. Tell her no.

HandfulOfDust · 18/04/2020 22:16

No she can't be sure she's had it. I would take time to call her instead and have a virtual catch up with a glass of wine or something.

YakkityYakYakYak · 18/04/2020 22:25

If she hasn’t been tested there is no way she can know whether she has had it. You’re right to refuse to meet up with her, if she is lonely you can find other ways to keep in contact.

tara66 · 18/04/2020 22:28

Perhaps because she has been unwell she does not actually know how bad it is -i,e. how much it is continuing to spread and what daily death toll is? You could ask her that.

Magic2020 · 18/04/2020 22:29

Please feel free to post any papers saying that it's unlikely people will be immune. My Consultants (in a microbiology dept testing for SARS-CoV-2) are under the impression that it's highly likely they are.

Although there have been (rare) cases of people getting it again, they seem to think that could be because of other factors.

I've had Covid-19 and was back at work after 9 days (should have been 7 - as is NHS protocol - but I had a weekend too). They wouldn't have let me back if they thought I was still spreading active virus.

Your friend is probably immune, she's right. Whether you should meet her is up to you though. But don't treat her like a leper.