To feel desperately sad and heartbroken for the death of the pregnant NHS nurse?

[Doobedoobedoobe]

28-year-old NHS nurse Mary Agyapong died last week of Coronavirus. Her baby was saved just before she died. Her husband wasn’t with her at the end and hasn’t seen the baby yet because he had symptoms so was self-isolating.

I am feeling so desperately sad and utterly heartbroken for her, her family, and her baby.

Every single death during this pandemic is a tragedy, but this one has affected me more than any of the others I’ve read about. I didn’t know her. I don’t know anyone who knew her. I don’t want to impinge on anyone’s grief but for some reason I have felt this keenly. I am generally not an emotional person at all but I have a baby DD myself and was thinking about what would happen if I wasn’t around. I was feeding DD at 3am this morning, quietly crying for Mary and her baby.

I have a lot of anger towards others at the moment who don’t follow the rules. Tragic cases like this are happening and they don’t care, as long as they’re alright. I appear to live on stupid street where people think the rules don’t apply to them.

I just feel like this poor woman and her child were robbed of the life they should have had. AIBU to feel this way (about someone I don’t even know?)

Yes I do too. I got very annoyed with a headline about "pregnant nurse dies, but baby is saved" as if she didn't matter.
I wish they named her in the headlines. Poor lady.

No YANBU. I felt so sad for her when i read that news last week. She would never have thought when she was pregnant that she won’t get to nurture the baby. It’s so sad and I thought pregnant women have been told they need to be shielded and I was just wondering why she was still being asked to come to work where she had more chance of catching the virus. So sad overall

But she wasn't at work was she? It is utterly heart breaking, but I don't think her being a nurse actually has any bearing on the story.

I know what you mean- I'm not an emotional person but I had to hold back a tear when I saw this.

But then rationally I asked myself if I had I heard any of the stories from the 2017/18 flu season that saw 50,000 additional deaths in England and Wales. I don't recall seeing anything about it, and I'm certain that there must have been some absolutely tragic stories within that.

Do I know how many babies were born this year so far where the mother didn't survive? - no, not a clue as non have made the headlines.

Again - it is so so tragic. I can't imagine what the family is going through, with the added heartbreak of social distancing thrown in. But there is so much tragedy in the world every day (just as there in so much good). I think lots of us see stories like this and when we can relate, it hits us very hard - we put ourselves in their position. You could go looking for stories of tragic deaths every single day around the world and not know a fraction of it. It just depends what is reported.

But you are definitely not BU to feel this way about this case. And empathy is what makes the good in the world.

She was on maternity leave and apparently hadn't been in work since the 12th March and hadn't looked after any corona patients before that (at least that had symptoms) so it's extremely sad but she wasn't being exposed to increased risk of catching it in work

Of course yanbu, it is desperately sad, poor lady and poor baby left without a mother.

Yes I had seen that she’d been on leave since 12th March so she wasn’t exposed at work as far as they know. I’m not blaming the NHS or anything like that. I just feel that’s it’s so sad in general.

I agree that one hit particularly hard. It’s just heartbreaking to see the news.

I feel the same. I'm 29 and pregnant and just keep thinking it over.
I have a husband and a 4yo and just can't imagine them having to carry on without me. Its scary and I'm desperately sad for the poor family.

It is very sad. I wonder if she caught it from her father who died a couple of weeks previously from Covid-19?
www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8226319/amp/Pregnant-nurse-28-died-coronavirus-baby-saved-lost-father-Covid-19.html

At first everyone jumped on her having contracted it working in the hospital but it appears that wasn't the case.

It is very sad for her stepmother and brothers to have lost two family members to this awful disease.

It is very very sad. I am pregnant just now and have 3yo DS so this ladies death particularly hit me too.
Her poor husband and baby.

There is a GoFundMe to benefit her family. Search 'Our Beloved Mary Mo' if you're interested

Life in general is tragic and sad.

Its incredibly sad. A colleague of mine collapse and died when her baby was 2 months old. She had a undiagnosed heart problem.

It's not that her life is worth more than someone with older children or no children. But I felt desperately sorry for her family. The other kids, her partner the baby that wont remember her.

Desperately sad.

Not sure I agree with the way it's been reported though. The impression was given she died, having caught it at work. They were showing her photo, with others who have contracted it at work, whilst talking about the lack of PPE. Which isnt the reason this young woman sadly lost her life.

Not convinced if she happened to have s different job, like a supermarket worker, that it would have made the news. Given she hasnt been working recently. Yes it's sad, but her job isnt really relevant to the situation.

It’s absolutely tragic, that poor family, the poor lady who will never get to see her child grow up

@AhComeOnNow could you cite a source for the 50000 deaths in 2017/18? I have never heard of it and can't find it on Google. That is a HUGE number of deaths.

Yes OP this story hit me too. That poor woman and her family.

I don't think it matters whether she caught it at work or not. We know plenty of NHS workers are catching it at work because of lack of PPE (especially in the early weeks) so it's not like it's a misrepresentation.

Sorry @Frozenfan2019 . I've not been back to this. The 50,000 in 2017/18 was as I said the 'additional deaths' for the flu season - this doesn't mean all were caused by the flu - some just 'winter' in general. But my point being that I don't remember it being reported even though I can now find it in may articles so it must have been at the time. I must have just dismissed it, which says a lot about how we must process things we're used to hearing like flu season deaths, road traffic deaths, etc, and don't modify our behaviour because of them.

I'm surprised you didn't find anything from a Google search for '2017/18 additional deaths flu' though.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/excesswintermortalityinenglandandwales/2017to2018provisionaland2016to2017final

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/30/excess-winter-deaths-in-england-and-wales-highest-since-1976