To think some people are being unnecessarily nasty to struggling parents on here?

[Heartseverywhere]

Lately on here since the Covid 19 outbreak, I've seen so many comments, if anyone dares admit they're struggling with their dc, along the lines of.

Why have children is you can't be bothered to look after them
If you want the schools to reopen you must want your children to die
Calling parents lazy
What was once getting an education is now dumping children on teachers/grandparents
If you're struggling you must absolutely hate spending time with your dc

All of which are ridiculous. These aren't normal circumstances. People are finding it really difficult to work from home as well as homeschool young children.
It isn't always enjoyable to spend all day everyday inside with children, it doesn't mean you hate your children. Even if you're not working, it can be tough when you can't even do much as go to the local playground or buy a bag of flour in your shop to bake a cake.

I haven't seen any yet but have been trolled elsewhere when I was at my lowest ebb with dd1, who was about to be assessed for sn. It was awful and nearly pushed me over the edge. I am careful about what I post.

If you see snything, report, report, report and, if Mumsnet refuse to take it down, we have to push for answers from everyone as to why bullying is Ok

Yes, completely agree. Some people lose all sense of proportion when writing on here. The other day there was a thread from a new mum desperate because she couldn’t seem to leave her four month old with her DP to get a short break. There was a massive pile on from posters taking issue with her using the term “boobing” for breastfeeding. Just unacceptable bullying of someone who had opened up about being in a difficult position.

There was a massive pile on from posters taking issue with her using the term “boobing” for breastfeeding.

There's always been an element of that on here. Find all the older threads and comments about this not being 'nethuns' and the snobbery makes you gape. I'd far rather be on nethuns and have the actual post I made responded to than have it picked apart by a bunch of snobs who have nothing to offer but a display of nastiness.

Totally agree there are some total judgemental weirdos on here. Bet these are the fake super nice ones in real life though.

I loved this thread, I loved the humour and honesty and it's threads like these that make me love Mumsnet.
Sadly there will always be trolls and know it all's

Irritated-irritable-and-irritating-AIBU-to-be-tolerant-in-RL-and-tell-them-to-get-fucked-on-this-thread

Some people are unnecessarily nasty on here, full stop.

I agree with you. There have always been.. er.. shall we say robust discussions, but it has become an absolute bitchfest on here of late.

I feel great sympathy for those who are expected to work ft and look after the kids and educate them. I have sympathy for those with children with disabilities.

I have little sympathy for those who are sahm or not working who can't help for the kids to be back at school.

It's 50/50 really.

I remember seeing someone post that they were scared about taking their 2 month old baby on a plane. I think she was still pregnant and wanting to go to a wedding or something like that, but didn't have children so had no idea how hard/easy it was. The poor woman got dragged about so badly, oh bloody first time mums, so clueless, so precious, do you think yours is the first baby that was ever born, just get on with it.

I think people forget that before they had children they had no idea what it would be like either. My baby is four months now and not sure I'd be up for taking him on a plane (I mean in normal circumstances, obviously not now!)

I don't know why 'first time mum' is such an insult on here, we were all new mums once and being nervous is not the same as being precious. OK, great, you have 10 kids and they just lick the floors for dinner and beat each other senseless every night, do you want a medal for being so blase??

Better to deal with it on the thread in question (and greater benefit to those posters than stating yet another 'isn't MN full of horrible people' thread which they might not see)

Why not @don'tdisturbmenow?

Their children might be bored and fighting amongst their siblings. They will be missing their friends and, education notwithstanding, they'll be in need of the structure and discipline of school - and so there may be a marked deterioration in behaviour.

Parents might have additional worries, such as financial issues and so children at home and the attendant extra expense may be an added pressure.

They could be worried about vulnerable family members which will also affect their mood and feel even more incapable of 24/7 parenting and, with no other distractions such as friends, days out, 24/7 it really is

I agree that posters should be called out more on their nasty behaviour. But usually a gang mentality takes hold, and anyone who dares go against the prevailing view is turned on, insulted and verbally beaten up.

The posters who actually agree with the op, or feel she is being unfairly castigated are intimidated into staying quiet, and the nasty bullies continue to howl into their echo chamber.

There's a lot of really good people on this site, and much wisdom, understanding, help, empathy and advice. I don't want to lose sight of that.
Yes, there are a lot of miseries too, but that's par for the course.
If I were feeling mentally fragile, I might prefer to use one of the other, gentler boards. That said, AIBU can really help you to see other perspectives, albeit sometimes brutally!

People are generally either being lovely or complete arseholes.

I do love spending time with my children, but under normal conditions I'd never dream of staying in the house for weeks on end with everyone trying to play with the same toys in the same space and getting on each other's tits. If I had time off, we'd go to the parks and beaches, woods and streams and then all the usual play groups.

Struggling dealing with 3 children who have had all their routines disrupted and don't understand doesn't mean I don't want them or to spend time with them, it means we have a tiny living room and tiny garden and it sucks. I'm not even going to start on trying to work at the same time.