To consider moving countries?

[ChickenStew]

I'd like some opinions please on the following. We're a family of 5 (3 DC). I'm an EU national, children dual nationality and DP is British.

I'm considering moving the family to my home country during the summer.
I first thought this in 2015 after the GE, I had hope the Brexit referendum would be softened by sensible moderates, but it's the current situation that is kind of the final straw.
I've lived here 20 years, we have a lovely house and a few close friends ( who don't care about the type of passport I have). Both of our jobs are looking pretty uncertain (think hospitality and self employed). So this could be a natural opportunity to take this step.

The advantages I can see of moving:

• free/much cheaper childcare (for all 3 DC) as school starts later. As it stands we can't send the kids to nursery (cost) without having secure jobs.
• greater political stability
• better healthcare/crisis response
• better work life balance in the long term
• a greater emphasis on social stability
• I fear the UK will economically recover less well than other country

Disadvantages:

• We'd have to leave our friends and DP's family
• We both have never worked in my home country, I have transferable skills, so should be okay. DP might have to take a significant step down
• rent out our house to complete strangers, and would have to initially have to comprise on new house/flat until we've settled
• home country is a bit dull, I love the flexibility, spontaneity and openness of the UK (which might be a thing of the past and might have contributed to the current state).
• I don't know what it's like to work & be a parent in home country as I left to do my degree.
• DP has Asperger's. He hates change, and thinks everything is going to bounce back in the summer.

It is key to him to have a purposeful job, but he also values security very highly. He'd initially struggle with the language.

AIBU - bad idea, huge upheaval involving a lot of uncertainty

AINBU - go for it! Long term prospects warrant the risk.

DP has Asperger's. He hates change

Surely that, and the fact that he will find it difficult to get work at the same level is a reason to stay? Ask yourself wh you are here and not there in the first place. The answers to these things are usually staring you in the face.

we moved country due to brexit.
it was really really hard. and bloody expensive.
and that was with the company organising/paying a lot.

don't underestimate the language for you. I am fluent in the language if the new country, but fluent for informal language is well different from the formal language at the work place. plus language changes a lot over the years.

You will get very few sensible views on moving countries on AIBU, OP. Try the ‘Living Overseas’ board. We moved countries in December, after more than 20 years in the UK, which I feel has become unrecognisable in unpleasant ways over the past few years, and being in lockdown here has confirmed what a good decision it was.

I am in a similar situation. Here 5 years, 1 kid and one on the way, DH is british, I am not. We have been thinking of moving home. However, with the current situation, we wouldn't consider it til next year. Jobs are all over the place in every European country, we have no idea how economies are going to be hit in the UK or in my home country, how house prices are going to be effected, taxes, incentives like childcare allowance etc. I completely get the pull home. I have a very supportive family at home as it sounds like you do, and DHs family have very little involvement with us. But with things the way they are, I think we would be going back with our eyes closed and our fingers crossed if we move this year. I would leave it til next year.

We were in a similar situation to you 8 years ago, DH couldn't speak my native language but his skills are in high demand so he could easily get a well paid job here. 8 years on he still only speaks the language very little and I completely underestimated the impact of this because I have to deal with everything admin: schools, banks, buying property, healthcare, cars, TAX... and because I left my home country at the age of 18 and had no idea about any of these things here, it really does stress me out at times. Just another thing to consider.

I've lived in a few EU countries and would love to move back (especially to one in particular). It's not an option as neither me nor DH have good enough language skills or an EU passport). Quality of life was better, better facilities, better cultural fit for us. The UK is clearly on a downwards trajectory so I'd prefer our kids to grown up elsewhere.

I'm in your position OP. The Brexit vote made me want to leave and I've been trying to convince my husband to come with me ever since. I'm absolutely sick of how this country is run, and the corona shambles was the last straw as I can't live in a country where I don't feel safe. My husband gets this and we have started planning our next move, but unfortunately the pandemic will hinder us as we won't be able to do much for the foreseeable future. We can still make plans though so we are prepared to take the plunge when the time comes.

If it's Germany, then go for it.

Anywhere else, don't even think about it 😷

I'm from the UK lived somewhere else for 15 years and moved back again 4 years ago. Up until recently I enjoyed moving back. Not so much the winters but everything is sooo cheap here compared to where we were and more jobs and security and work life balance. I also love the British banter.
However recently with everything going on back there seems more peaceful and stable and I know people are far more chilled out there.
Let's just say we are going to weather here best we can but I'm getting Passports updated and house organised that we can head back and fairly short notice in the future.

It's one of those things that you don't really know until you do it. All you need to asses is the risk and see if the whole family is on board. If your husband is not sure then it won't work.

Here will be a lot of people saying how leaving UK has been the best thing ever. I'm not from the UK so my home country "mumsnet" also has tons of threads how they would like to leave that country. So it's a matter of what is the best for you. Every place will have pro's and con's and there are a lot of additional emotional aspects to consider than just work. It's a hard decision to make since you've settled in the UK. When you and your partner got together did you discuss the option of moving to your home country?