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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What age did your child independently pick up a book and sit to read?

150 replies

gogettum · 17/04/2020 08:14

My dd is just turned 7...she won't read unless it's bedtime and I'm with her. All (well not all but most) of her friends and cousins etc will all sit and read for entertainment and it's freaking me out that she won't do it. We gave books around the house, there's a great selection (although there could be more I suppose!) PLEASE tell me she's not the only one!? Or is this some normal step/milestone that she is just not "doing"?!!

OP posts:
starlight36 · 17/04/2020 12:23

Browsing through books from age 2, actually reading from cover to cover and enjoying it as an activity he would willingly choose age 7.

lifestooshort123 · 17/04/2020 12:23

DGD loves reading and prefers it to screen time (13), DGS never reads for pleasure and says he 'hates reading' though he's a good reader (11). We've always had books around and the rest of us always have one on the go - he's a member of 2 libraries and I used to take him every Saturday but he showed no interest in books for himself. DS is the same (will only read books by Clive Cussler so that's done with!) but he is a secondary school teacher so it did him no harm. I've accepted that reading for pleasure isn't for everyone.

TakeMeToYourLiar · 17/04/2020 12:28

DS was about 15 months, obviously couldn't read but would sit and flick through a book

Covert20 · 17/04/2020 12:28

I think the reason people get so worked up about it MintyMabel is that reading for pleasure is the best indicator of future academic success - it actually does have an impact on their future.

Plus some of the best experiences I’ve had in my life have come from reading, why wouldn’t I want to share that with my kids?!!

CXG1 · 17/04/2020 12:31

My son is 3 and 'reads' every day. By that I mean he'll read books like We're Going On A Bear Hunt that he's actually just reciting. But he does try and move his fingers along the words as if he's trying to learn.

TheEndIsBillNighy · 17/04/2020 12:33

@MintyMabel yes it probably does sound it, reading it back! I can obviously relate to them on many other levels, I just cannot relate to them never ever wanting to pick up a book, even to look at the pictures. Even if fiction isn’t their thing, I just hope that maybe they’d pick up a non-fiction...anything at all really. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such an issue if a.) we hadn’t tried really hard (Possibly too hard?!) to create a positive association with reading, or b.) they didn’t moan endlessly about being bored if it’s not warm enough to play outside / if the TV isn’t on (They don’t play independently with toys)

ravenmum · 17/04/2020 12:33

I take it you don't mean picture books, but books full of text (and the odd picture), like an adult book?

I'm in Germany, where they don't start to read until 6 or 7, and even then are not expected to read that much. Books tend to be quite babyish or dull until about age 10. (Adults still end up bookworms, however!)

I also tried to teach the kids to read in English at home. My daughter was very keen, read picture books with ease and was reading adult-like books independently by about age 9. My son was absolutely not keen on reading, so I gave up and he learned in German at 7. By age 10 the skill had magically transferred to English and he started reading independently, for pleasure. Now they are 20 and 22, and both read regularly, more than me probably. Their dad almost never reads anything.

I read them both bedtime stories until our son, the youngest, was 10, and then at some point I couldn't be bothered, and left off halfway through a book, and eventually he wanted to know what happened and finished it. After that I made a point of getting things that were their taste, not mine - plenty of easy reads. My daughter had a subscription to "Shout" magazine (awful teenie nonsense!), my son loved a series about teen spies. We also used to listen to audiobooks on long car journeys - e.g. Sophie Kinsella or Michael McIntyre's autobiography, very light - and my daughter worked her way through those on paper, too. I agree that it just has to be fun at that age. They both read more demanding stuff now.

gogettum · 17/04/2020 14:57

Thank you everyone. I will just go with the "she's not a reader" theory, I'm not worried as she's a clever, spirited and kind little girl and she loves art, crafts and drawing so that is her "go to" activity at the moment. I shouldn't be comparing (even though the teacher in me knows that, it's hard not to at times as a parent!)

OP posts:
ravenmum · 17/04/2020 15:01

She's only 7, she has plenty of time to become a keen reader yet. Why the urge to label her so young?

gogettum · 17/04/2020 15:03

@ravenmum I think I just got panicky because some of her friends and cousins are little bookworms and I have never seen her pick up a book (after the age of 2ish) to read and relax as such.

OP posts:
ravenmum · 17/04/2020 15:19

Seriously, my son in particular took much longer. It was really mid-teens before I realised that no, actually he has his preferences and seeks out books to read.
I know it's tempting to try to label them (guilty of that too!) but it's worth trying to avoid it, otherwise I do think you end up cutting some paths off without realising. I wish now that I'd tried to encourage my daughter to be sportier, as she's got it in her head as an adult that she isn't, and actively avoids sports I'm sure she'd enjoy!

ErrolTheDragon · 17/04/2020 15:49

I think I just got panicky because some of her friends and cousins are little bookworms and I have never seen her pick up a book (after the age of 2ish) to read and relax as such.

Yeah, I went through that. (Yes, I may have been That Mother who snuck a look inside a book bag when we had a play date, and worried.Grin)

But in retrospect she was probably doing a lot more than I did as a kid. Maybe there is such a thing as too much reading if it's at the expense of Lego and more active or imaginative play (not saying that's the case for the bookworms on this thread, I'm sure most have a good balance!)

TheSandman · 17/04/2020 16:59

@gogettum
I forgot to mention my son got into read in via comics, which is a vastly underrated route. He would endlessly read a huge pile of old comics and Beano and Dandy albums - Try getting her a regular comic or magazine The Beano, The Phoenix, Curiosity Box or Aquila. Something like that.

Onceuponatimethen · 17/04/2020 17:01

8

KellyHall · 17/04/2020 17:06

My dad didn't read a book (other than what he had to at school/university) until his late 40s!

HarryHarry · 17/04/2020 17:08

Mine is not yet 2 but he’s been sitting down to look at his board books by himself for several months, which makes me very happy.

I think as long as you make sure they have plenty of books, and that you try to show them how much fun reading can be, then you shouldn’t worry about it too much if they don’t seem that interested. They’ll come to it on their own.

nanbread · 17/04/2020 18:03

Reading for pleasure is the best indicator of future academic success

That's surely more correlative than causative, no? Although reading for pleasure will also extend vocab, introduce to new experiences etc

ErrolTheDragon · 17/04/2020 19:26

Reading for pleasure is the best indicator of future academic success

It may be one indicator, but not a hard and fast one, and certainly not on the STEM side.

Bienentrinkwasser · 17/04/2020 19:48

DH has probably read three books in the four years we have lived together. He got all As in his exams, has a sciences degree, and my god you don’t want to have a debate with him. My DBro is also not a reader. He has a different kind of intelligence to me or DH But still has a degree and is working his way up in a really niche field.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 17/04/2020 20:16

DD was probably 8 or 9 and it's still very rare.

House full of books of every sort possible and DH and I were both early and very keen readers, and rarely without a book in our hands even now.

DD has severe dyslexia so reading is not something that is either easy or enjoyable for her. I get her audiobooks now so that at least she gets the stories and the vocabulary.

Reading for pleasure is the best indicator of future academic success

I would say that it is more likely that the children who are academically successful are naturally inclined towards reading and find it easy and fun.

SpiritEssence · 17/04/2020 20:19

My dd was about 10 but only with help due to having sen but I always had books for her from very young. Shes now 20 and loves to read her kindle

BellatrixLestat · 17/04/2020 20:20

DD just read her first 'proper book'. She's 6.5. Can't read in her head yet so read it all out loud but independently and of her own choosing.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 17/04/2020 20:21

About 5.7yrs and the book was Matilda by Roald Dahl. I know I was later- more like 6 and a half, it was notable because I became a veracious reader and (later) English teacher. The first book I read independently was also Matilda, so maybe try her on that!

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 17/04/2020 20:22

Sorry meant to add after “became an English teacher...” : “but this was quite late compared to my peers and my Mum was worried as I had no interest”

CaryStoppins · 17/04/2020 20:30

My just 6 year old will "read" comics - mostly looking at the pictures!

My 9.5 year old will read proper books - Harry Potter, David Walliams type stuff - but only really in the last 6-9 months I think.
He's always been a strong reader for his age but hasn't been interested in reading a whole book to himself for pleasure until quite recently.
I think 7 is still pretty young for that for most children, Mumsnet children are all very advanced readers compared to what I know of friends and family children.

Now that we're on lockdown I have been designating an hour after lunch as reading time while my toddler naps, so the older children are reading more than they would naturally choose to.

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