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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not take a mortgage holiday

41 replies

Cosycuppa · 16/04/2020 23:17

I made a huge mistake several years ago buying a property with a friend. I invested 75% of the deposit and she invested 25%. We both pay down the mortgage equally each month, and our payments are very low. she is currently living in the property, and i rent out my room to her friend. I now have a newborn baby and I live with my husband in a different property which we are renting until my property with the friend sells.

We had a falling out about the sale, and had been trying to sell for 2 years before Covid19 struck. She communicates with my husband now instead of me because I have been pregnant and dealing with her emails about the house sale was causing me too much stress.

She text my husband yesterday to say she had been furloughed and wanted to have a mortgage holiday for 3 months, she sort of told us she was going to do it rather than asked me if I was ok with it. She told him it was madness not to take this ‘opportunity’
I know that our mortgage payments are very low, and I know what her furloughed salary is at £2,500 per month so can’t understand the need to take a mortgage holiday. I’ve also read several articles saying there will be impacts on people’s future credit ratings despite what the gov has promised. I told her I don’t want to take the mortgage holiday, because I don’t think we need it. She’s flown off the handle at me and said it’s madness not to take it. AIBU to tell her no?

OP posts:

Changeofname79 · 17/04/2020 09:30

I totally agree with you that they shouldnt be taken if not absolutely necessary but the way you mentioned furlough makes me think you don't fully understand it, do you know it absolutely isn't necessary for her.

The £2.5k is the maximum amount (before tax and NI) that someone will receive but at the most is 80% of someones salary. My DH is losing £2k over the 6 weeks he will be furloughed (due to the cap) which is a huge chunk of our income. He is not a ridiculously high earner (obv well above average of course) but it has a big effect on how we can pay our bills. Some employers are paying 100% of the wages but many aren't.

AftonGlen · 17/04/2020 09:34

Even if this person has other debts, surely the mortgage is the priority? On debt forums they always say to make sure priority debts such as housing and utilities are paid first.
I would think that if this person is still getting paid 2500 even before tax and the mortgage payment is low, then they should really be paying the mortgage and not taking the holiday.

middleager · 17/04/2020 09:38

Can she do that without your consent if you have a joint mortgage? Surely it requires both signatures?

RhymingRabbit3 · 17/04/2020 09:40

I dont think she understands what a mortgage holiday is. You dont just get 3 months "off" with no repercussions 🙄

middleager · 17/04/2020 09:41

2.5k is loads by the way. Maybe not in Mumsnet world.

We don't earn much more than that JOINTLY and have a high mortgage. I think she's playing you.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 17/04/2020 09:44

She told him it was madness not to take this ‘opportunity’

This is the worrying bit. I think your DH needs to reply making sure that she really understands what a mortgage holiday is. There have been lots of media reports about this, and people applying when they don't actually currently needing it because they see it as free money (I don't think it's helpful here that people keep talking about not paying rent as the equivalent of a mortgage holiday) without realising the long term implications. If she really needs it then that's different, but it would be very odd to describe it as 'an opportunity you'd be mad not to take' if it was a desperate last resort.

Blacksideupanddownagain · 17/04/2020 09:52

I agree with @Soontobe60 , as annoying as it is, are you able to cover the full payments yourself for 3 months instead and take off her equity?

It sounds like this situation has a long and complicated history and although I would feel bitter having to make such an offer if you can financially afford to do it (although I note you're on mat leave so may not be as simple as that) then it would probably be the easiest solution.

It's annoying as it will probably feel like she's getting one over on you, but right now I would take the simplest, least stressful option so as not to have to give her any more headspace. But I would insist her mother draws up a legal agreement for free as her part of the bargain, and be very clear it won't extend any longer. Hopefully lockdown and her financial situation will be clearer over the next month or so.

If her financial situation is so unstable that it wont resolve within the 3 month period and she's still going to struggle to pay her share at the end then that's a much bigger issue that will need addressing urgently.

strawberry2017 · 17/04/2020 09:56

I wouldn't take the holiday, it's not an actual break! The interest is still accruing so you barely get any sort of financial respite.
I could understand if they actually put the whole payment on hold.
I'm sorry that this has effected your friendship so much OP.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 17/04/2020 09:57

What is expecting to happen with her friend's rent, by the way? I'm wondering whether she's told her that she won't have to pay rent because you won't be paying the mortgage...

BarbaraofSeville · 17/04/2020 09:58

Has there been any discussion on her buying you out? Does she want to continue living there? Why hasn't it sold in two years? Is one of you being unrealistic about the price or are there other issues?

Sadly it's not going to sell in the near future on the open market, but if she wants to buy you out, that would sound like an ideal solution, but I suspect she can't afford it if she's so keen on a mortgage holiday even though it sounds like she's on a decent salary, has a lodger and the mortgage is very low. Is she bad with money, a spender, with no savings?

Because otherwise, she should be quite comfortable, unless you've misunderstood her salary - she might see some drop because it's 80% on furlough and there is a maximum of £2500 and I don't know if that's before or after tax.

Also what is a 'very low' mortgage - people have vastly different ideas about that but then I would have thought that a lodger's rent would cover her half of a 'very low' mortgage. Is she saving by working from home or does she still have commuting costs? Many people have found that they're saving quite a bit of money due to not commuting, buying lunches and coffees or eating out.

LakieLady · 17/04/2020 10:08

I wouldn't have the "holiday". It could mean that when you come to buy, the best mortgage deals may not be available to you. She can't force you to agree when the property is in joint names.

Does the rent for "your" room cover your half of the mortgage, or are you still paying it? If the latter, what happens to your share of that rent?

Apart from anything else, if she finds herself in financial trouble she may be prepared to drop the price for a quick sale, or let you buy her out and move back in.

I really feel for you, this is a bloody awful mess.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 17/04/2020 10:45

Also what is a 'very low' mortgage - people have vastly different ideas about that but then I would have thought that a lodger's rent would cover her half of a 'very low' mortgage.

My reading of the situation from the OP is that the lodger pays the OP because it's her room she rents, though the lodger is the other owner's friend. Which is quite a mess in and of itself.

CloudPop · 17/04/2020 10:46

Use a mortgage holiday calculator? It can sometimes help to spell out the situation in actual numbers & clarity in what the financial impact will be overall.

Changeofname79 · 17/04/2020 15:14

2.5k is not loads if you live London or South East. Most people earning £30k a year are likely to have a lifestyle according to their salary and to be honest cost of living in the south is very high.

She should definitely be cutting back on other bills first before the mortgage of course but you can't just assume she hasn't done this.

Also, it may be that she doesnt truly understand the implications of the mortgage break.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/04/2020 15:21

The OP hasn't said how much the mortgage is, other than 'very low' and it's split between two people.

Most of the 'lifestyle' that takes up people's discretionary spending (eating out, beauty treatments, holidays, lunch and coffee, theatre etc') isn't open at the moment, so spending will be zero.

None housing costs in London/SE are pretty much the same, if not less than the rest of the UK (public transport can be less, far more free things to do, a lot of food shops actually cheaper).

middleager · 17/04/2020 20:24

2.5k is not loads if you live London or South East. Most people earning £30k a year are likely to have a lifestyle according to their salary and to be honest cost of living in the south is very high.

It's swings and roundabouts isn't it? I said it was loads and that's with a highish mortgage and family of four. The OP's house partner does not have kids or a family does she?

So a single person on that incone sounds reasonable to me.

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