To be falling so hard for this man

[Checheyj]

I feel so ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about him . He's 16 years older I am 22 and he is 38 . We live in different countries for Gods sake yet he is the light of my day . Messaging him just makes me feel so happy (God I sound ridiculous) . Maybe it's just nice to have some attention (just me and a 3 year old at home with no real family support)

I keep telling myself that it could never work (different countries he has a job which makes him well known to the public and the age gap yet I can't stop imagining what if ) . Am I being ridiculous to think he could like me too or am I just desperate for attention in these desperate times :))

I could keep you updated if you want

Nah, it's ok.
Really.

What does ‘well known in public ‘ mean?

I think there is a certain type of man who is successful and in the public eye. They can be utterly dazzling and charming but that is not necessarily the whole story. Someone local to me is very successful, has literally hundreds to thousands of women following him either on Facebook or around his public events thinking he's incredible. If you have limited contact with this man you will see someone highly intelligent, good looking and charismatic. I am friends of sorts with his brother and to spend 5 minutes with him is it hear about how this guy has a terrible temper to the point of regularly reducing his 18 month old to tears, has affairs and thinks everyone around him is beneath him. He's a narcissist. He also does a lot of drugs. It's his wife and family who get that him. Everything else is a performance and his followers are completely blind to it.

Crushes are lovely but you are in love with an idea of this man at the moment, not the real him. Proceed with extreme caution. Particularly when something is long distance you can be restricted to only seeing what you want to see for a very long time. Yes this man could be wonderful, in which case good luck to you. But you've nothing to lose by being (very) cautious.

falling so hard

As a phrase designed to make nonsense like this sound deep, meaningful and interesting, it's got to be one of the biggest fails.

It's like the wet fart of #hunfiction.

Can I unclick the box for being kept updated please

Yeah, I had one of these. Wasted two years on him. He was one of the vilest human beings I have encountered, objectively.

Did you meet him on holiday or through work?

I think that's a massive age gap - almost a generation. You are lonely and he's handsome, that's all. Perhaps look for younger goodlooking guys nearer home?

Hotel worker you met while on holiday?

Give your head a wobble and take up a hobby.

How did you meet OP? We’re all prone to the odd crush and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it but in this scenario I think you need to be realistic. What are the chances of you actually meeting again? Do you want kids/does he want kids? Where do you want to live? The distance and age factors definitely make things more difficult.

I could keep you updated if you want

Bless you.

Why not read a book instead?

She is in love with idea if what might be

Is he a youtuber or blogger? Yeah doesnt sound like it will work out but you can have fun whilst it lasts at least no harm done.

Has he shown any actual interest in you or more specifically in meeting you again?

Oh that Harry Styles is such a flirt!

He will ask for money soon.... don’t be a fool. This will end in heartbreak for you. He’s probably sending the same messages to a dozen other gullibles.

You are very naive and this will end badly for you unless you act now.

Stop talking to him and move on with your life. Consider a relationship with a womxn instead, you'll be much happier in the long run x

You are isolated, in lockdown and lonely.

You sound a tad vulnerable.

Why and how did you meet him briefly and end up messaging to the point you have fallen for him?

You have to see the huge potential pitfalls here?

Also note that limerence is more thought to be more common in people with a history of mental health issues.

Stalkers often exhibit limerence or at least describe the same experience, even if they dont use the word. People use it as a phrase as though it explains it all away and it's a normal thing. It's really not.

People experiencing limerance often dont see things clearly. They become so convinced this person is the right person for them, they done see warning signs, dont care who else in involved and become obsessed with the relationship. Ignoring all signs that their crush is a flashing neon red sign or signs that they arent interested.

There was a support thread here for people with limerance and, I think it ended up, being deleted. It became quite sinister. People egging eachother on in their fantasy of their crushes partner dying or something awful happening to them.

The collection of people indulging the obsessions made it worse.

Limerance isnt something to be relieved at. If you realise it's probably all bollocks, wake up and walk away. It's not limerence.

Honestly - this is all made up in your head and is detrimental to you.
Mi suggest trying to distract yourself, literally anything. Even a scary boxed set, something to switch your focus, then it will get easier.