To be sad to see the school places being announced

[Lexijayde44]

Mum to a reception child. She was really getting into school after a slow start grasping the routine. Seeing her progress was such a relief and we had a good parents evening the week before lockdown. Its clear my little girls one of the lowest in the class with stuff but they just are happy she likes going to school. She's picking things up much better at home reading and writing wise though!

I know it's absolutely tough crap that we are in this situation. We are all parents who's kids are missing out massively on their education and seeing friends etc. I'm not a special case. But I just felt sad today. People were announcing their kids schools for September. The offers came through today. It just seems so bizarre that the next class is getting ready to start in 4 months time and I am wondering if my child will ever get chance to be in that class again with her friends and teachers. In year one they have 3 mixed classes. I know she will be ok. I know the teachers will be prepared for it all. But I still feel sad. This year is a year of moulding them and prepping them for the rest of school. It's play based and loads of outdoor time etc. Its going to be a huge shock to her going into year one and not having the routine she remembers.

I know this comment will get me some flower emoji/get a grip comments but I feel sad that I've been robbed of my child's firsts! I know people are dying. I know we are lucky. I know there's many years ahead. But I just know how badly she needed the next few months to really prep her for school life.

I hope others can relate. I know it's not a big issue but I can't help how I feel

We've kept everything positive for her too. But I worry how she is actually digesting all this. She knows there are germs being cleaned away. But I feel so bad for her being kept away from everything she once had. She's not old enough to understand. I really feel sad for the kids tonight. Not just mine. I know they are having fun at home and this is needed. I just can't see how anything will get better until a vaccine is available. Therefore I feel they all need to repeat a couple of months in their old classes. I hope the government puts a fair plan on place to support everyone's children .

Personally I think reception, year six, year 10,11 and 12 are in the worst situation. Other years hopefully will be returning to the same classes and people. Plus they are old enough to understand you change class etc.
Is anyone else feeling sad for the kids?

Blueshoes - it may be inconsequential to you, to my son it is the end of his world of primary school and not being able to say goodbye to his friends and celebrate moving on to secondary school.

Oh I’m so glad you put this up. I have had this awful feeling in my stomach all day about it. Some of my friends children are starting foundation stage in September at my daughters school and I feel so so sad almost like they’re stealing her lovely Teacher and classroom (I know that’s ridiculous, I really do). It’s almost worse as I have a slightly older child so I know exactly which projects, trips etc they’re missing. It’s ok to be upset I keep reminding myself of this time last year that I was crying about her starting school so now I get some precious extra months with her at home

Blueshoes - it may be inconsequential to you, to my son it is the end of his world of primary school and not being able to say goodbye to his friends and celebrate moving on to secondary school.

I have a daughter in Year 11. GCSEs cancelled. Probably no chance to say proper goodbye to almost all her friends as she is moving to another Sixth Form.

Sure she is disappointed. But children are resilient. I don't project my feelings on her. This is not about me. Yes, it is inconsequential to me in the big scheme of things. I cannot work up a sweat. Dd will move on. We all will.

Other countries arent just going back though
Germany is some year groups upper primary with masks on.
France not sure but someone advised him the school shouldnt be going back.

I have a child starting reception in sept but i have no idea how much of that they will be able to do?
The social distancing might well start again a few weeks after they go back as we dont have immunity.

For what it's worth I think she'll be fine but can definitely understand how you feel, just as she got into the swing it gets disrupted. Remember lots of children will have wobbles going back so it won't be like she's just plunged into Y1 - they'll make an effort to settle them back in. Your DD also has the advantage that she's been reading at home and making progress so she may actually find the work side easier when she goes back.

I get it, my twins were in a lovely school nursery which was preparing them wonderfully, and I cried a couple of weeks back at the thought that they probably won't be going back at all. I doubt schools will go back before September but even if they do i have had to switch funding to a private nursery now and I highly doubt that decision will be reversible. We were bending over backwards and paying over the odds to get them in there for the year as I know what a great school it is with a fabulous caring teacher. I'm also worried and sad that reception year for them may be disrupted since this situation could drag on for a whole year in some form. My eldest is starting year 3 in Sept
and I also feel sad at how much essential schooling she's missing out on. My DH just shrugs.

YANBU to feel sad about the situation and to worry how your DD will cope if she moves straight into Y1.

Schools are extremely aware of what children are missing out on by not being able to attend and I'm sure plenty of them will be coming up with all sorts of creative ways to make the best of the situation. Some may well decide to keep the current Reception children in their existing classrooms with their existing teachers for another year so they are Y1 but still with a Reception vibe. After all, new Reception joiners won't have prior experience of being in Reception and so it's unlikely to matter to them if it's different/if they spend two years in what has traditionally been a Y1 classroom. Schools do this sort of thing all the time and are used to re-jigging things to adapt to the needs of a particular intake - parents aren't the only ones who are sad about not getting to finish the school year as hoped; school staff are too!

My DC are Y10 and Y6. Not ideal year groups to be in just now. My hope is that the Y6s will be moved up to their secondary schools early now so they can have a supported transition and don't miss out on the fun end of Y6 rituals and a smooth start to Y7. Although it would be nice for them to say goodbye to their primary schools, they won't be having the residentials, parties, trips, production etc and a mass returning would result in hugging and tears which won't be ideal for distancing so it feels better to help them look forward to secondary school (and to a leavers assembly or something in the autumn).

As for Y10, it's quite a worrying time for them as they've seen their Y11 peers have the rug pulled from under them. They're aware that the longer they're away from school, the busier Y11 will be. I just hope Ofqual and the Government will be mindful of this and make sensible decisions about next year's GCSEs e.g. reducing the number of performances needed for drama, adjusting the number of texts assessed in English literature etc. so the Y11s aren't under even more pressure to give up the sport, music and other leisure activities their mental health will need more than ever before.

It's lovely to see so many replies on here that make me feel less alone. It is nice that most of you understand and feel the same.

I find it strange that people dismiss young children and their feelings. They might not be able to express how they feel and it might not be obvious to them but they will be sensing things. I know as a child i would have been questioning at this point what was going on. They know they used to go to school every week. We have told them there are germs etc. But we don't have any answers beyond that. So we are not able to fully reassure and guide them to anything. My DD isn't exactly miserable. She's happy watching Netflix and having daily picnics in the garden. But she does miss school and says things sometimes about how she can't wait to go back. Whilst I don't project my feelings onto her. I always reply with a happy light comment. I still feel it inside. She is 5 and I can't tell her people are dying and this germ is way worse than the colds she brings home. We spend months and months teaching them to be sociable and do activities and go to school. Now we are retraining them to stay home and work at home and stay inside. Then when the government let us out. We will have to retrain them again and say you can go out now. But you must be careful and wash your hands. Imagine how confusing all these mixed behaviours will be over the coming months. It's going to make some children more anxious and scared. Especially if we are sending them back before a vaccine. I don't believe all kids will bounce back. it will leave long term changes in a few. Many will take a while to recover and the odd one will bounce back straight away.

It's also rubbish for us as parents too. Even if the kids get to go back the worry and anxiety for us will still be there! Will they bring it home?Will it make them sick?
Will we suffer badly from it?

It definitely feels odd them trying to act "normal" about the new starters. I just feel some children will need to go to their old routine at school for a while.

It would be nice if they swapped teachers or rejigged the year but there's only two reception teachers and there are 3 year one and two teachers at DD school.

I'm really feeling for the yr6 pupils. Primary school has been a huge part of their lives. They deserve to finish with the memories. It's such a shame they are missing out on the taster days etc too.

It's just crap isn't it.

Oh it’s so normal to feel sad about all the disruptions to little ones early experiences. From missed birthday parties, to interrupted reception class through to GSCE’s. I feel a bit robbed that mine is due to start in sept and we will miss a really fun summer together as we are stuck in. Of course we are spending time together at home but it’s not the same as play dates, adventures and holidays!

It’s tough your little one was finally feeling settled and making progress but I’m sure the schools with understand that the children will have been through huge disruption and I don’t think the next school year will be totally normal.

We do start school quite early here and there isn’t a lot of evidence this is hugely beneficial. All of my teacher friends say that a lot of children who are homeschooled until around 7/8 years catch up within the first year and there is zero academic difference by the end of primary school! They say (off record) that the academic kids will be academic regardless and the ones who struggle are spared the first few years of trying to conform to a system that will never suit them!

So it’s ok to feel sad, but please don’t worry too much, your little one will so just fine xxx

Completely with you OP. I feel really sad that she's missed out on a third of her first ever year at school, all those friendships she's built up will be more difficult to reestablish.

Schooling wise I know that she won't fall behind as much as some will, but I just feel sad for her, as had she barely started when it was taken away.

I for one do hope that primary schools go back after May half term. If my husband isn't allowed to wfh any more then he will be risking bringing virus in to the home anyway.

See I’m the opposite. I think they start school way too young and I would have loved to have kept mine home in Reception year. You said she learns better at home too so I really think it’s a win win

...all those friendships she's built up will be more difficult to reestablish.

I work in a school, with Y1 children. Their friendships are fluid and everchanging; children at that stage often have a different 'best friend' every week. Try not to worry too much about that aspect.

I understand feeling disappointed for children, especially those who have been working towards exams that have now been cancelled, but I do think some posters are torturing themselves over things that won't matter in a year or two. Some are clearly projecting their own feelings of disappointment onto children who may not even remember this time. Children have missed 10 days of school so far. It's not ideal, but they will be ok.

I worked myself up into a bit of a state yesterday, I was struggling with the stress of trying to WFH with two small children, missing family and friends and worrying about my DD as she had a few tears due to missing her school friends. Then I watched some of the news footage of what's happening in India at the moment and it certainly put things into perspective.

I’ve just posted this on a similar thread but I’m going to pop it here too.

When I feel like this I try to look at the bigger picture. We are SO lucky for so many things, but the fact that this virus has on the whole spared our children is the biggest blessing of all. Previous Coronaviruses had the ability to wipe out so many of our kids if they had become pandemics. The fact that we’re here wringing our hands about them missing a tiny proportion of their education and in other threads their ‘firsts’ is an absolute privilege.

When I feel like this I try to look at the bigger picture. We are SO lucky for so many things, but the fact that this virus has on the whole spared our children is the biggest blessing of all. Previous Coronaviruses had the ability to wipe out so many of our kids if they had become pandemics. The fact that we’re here wringing our hands about them missing a tiny proportion of their education and in other threads their ‘firsts’ is an absolute privilege.

This.

I know what you mean, For super able, super social reception age kids, it probably wont knock a bother out of them but I would feel the shyer kids or those who were struggling a bit will miss having these extra weeks in school. There will be a big difference in Yr 1, no matter what accommodation's teachers make, the curriculum will still have to be covered in the year.

I feel the same but slightly different. My child had just settled in to nursery before it all came to a halt, although pleased we got the place we wanted, I'm worried about the full days.

Yes I agree with you on that. It would be horrendous if children were dying. I've seen a couple of children have passed away and I've seen stories of children getting poorly at home with it and being extremely hot etc.

I absolutely count my blessings and I certainly don't want us back at school until it's safe. But I just feel a pang of sadness. I don't mean to sound pathetic. I think it's just having a slower starter who isn't massively confident. I'm gutted that we haven't been able to give her s good start to school life. But yes you are right. The summer dresses won't be worn and I won't see her first sport day this year. But there are many years ahead as you say.

This is her first true life experience where I have felt she is truly part of something. I know some of my emotions come from the fact she has minimal time with family. They are just not those hands on grandparents. She never sees her auntie's and cousins either as everyone's always too busy. Or working etc. She did go to nursery for 18 months for two six hour afternoons. But she never got to enjoy it as she was too sick to go most weeks. She had so many viruses in the first year. It was pretty depressing. So starting school was her chance to finally be a real part of something else. That's definitely adding to how I feel.

We've been lucky enough to not had any tears about going in o school. We've seen her first nativity and we've seen her at her first birthdays parties. She loved the school meals and has coped well with all the things I thought she would get scared with, So we've not totally missed out.

Thanks again for everyone's replies. It's just hard to watch our kids paying the price x