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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest all couples, especially those with children

122 replies

gk6277 · 16/04/2020 20:29

Should make sure they each have life insurance, and ideally a will, as I am worried some of the people dying from coronavirus could be leaving behind a financial nightmare for their loved ones.

OP posts:
ProseccoLimoncello · 16/04/2020 23:04

@elQuintoConyo if you die without a Will a third party could also contest it going to your husband. Just do a mirror will for you & your husband & if you both die at the same time it’s held in trust for DC, however you need to appoint a trustee.
It’s also worth considering whether you wish to protect the the marital assets from a future partner as there’s a risk your DC could lose out if your DH died & didn’t have a Will giving such assets to your child.
I agree it’s also worth doing a power of attorney. They’re straightforward & don’t need a professional to prepare.

DesignedForLife · 16/04/2020 23:08

I need to do this, where do you even start?

SorryDidISayThatOutLoud · 16/04/2020 23:14

Just a reminder for those of you who are members of UNISON, you can get a will done free of charge.

Madhairday · 16/04/2020 23:19

I'm interested in whether existing policies will pay out for Covid too. I did hear of one case where the company refused to pay because Covid-19 was not named on the policy. It's a bit worrying.

In the same boat as a few others here in that I can't get life insurance due to chronic illness but dh has it. We must update our wills though so thank you for the reminder.

Candodad · 16/04/2020 23:22

@NeedToKnow101

I mean new policies. Existing would need to be honoured.

Tigerty · 16/04/2020 23:32

I can’t get life insurance unfortunately I have too many conditions which mean they won’t touch me with a barge pole. I think there’s something through work though - death in service?

I made my own will pre-divorce so I think that may be null and void now? It’s also my old address. Does anyone know if it would still be valid?

If I catch Covid it’s highly likely I’ll be in serious bother. Would it be over the top to write birthday cards for the kids up to their 18th? I want to be prepared but not paranoid,

ZarkingBell · 17/04/2020 00:01

I'm not insurable. And the illness that put me there wasn't covered. I have a will.
Don't rely on 'insurance' and read the small print.

Mumblechum0 · 17/04/2020 00:07

@tivdrty, your whole Will isn’t revoked on decree absolute, but any gift to your ex DH, or appointment of him as an executor is revoked. So if the backup was that the estate goes to your children, that still stands.
The change of address doesn’t matter.
Probably not a bad idea to review your will though.

Mumblechum0 · 17/04/2020 00:09

@tigerty sorry, predictive text 😟

wobytide · 17/04/2020 00:14

Top work from @elQuintoConyo arriving early with a strong confident opinion then disappearing once they realised what they hadn't actually considered at all what the OP was asking

Tigerty · 17/04/2020 00:17

Thanks Mumblechum. Believe me I’ve been called much worse Wink

We were already separated when I made the will so he’s not mentioned at all and he’s definitely not an executor. So that’s a relief I don’t have to sort that out. It’s a very simple will, basically split 50/50 between my two boys.

KickAssAngel · 17/04/2020 00:28

How to start?

Well - the best way to do a will is with legal advice ad witnesses etc.

But - even a scribbled note on the back of an envelope outlining your main intentions is better than nothing.

DH & I did our own after I went to 3 evening classes run by a lawyer, who gave advice then witnessed it for us. It can be very general - e.g. ours just says that all money to go to each other. If we are the last survivor (e.g. one of us dies in a car crash, and the next one goes before being able to draw up trusts etc.) then money to go into trust for DD, she will go to live with my sister, and my sister can use money for cost of living and education for DD but nothing for herself.

honestly - it's less than a page long, signed and dated and that's it. We're good.

If you're worrying about getting it witnessed, you could film yourself signing it and save that somewhere, or post it to a closed account on youtube etc.

Mumblechum0 · 17/04/2020 00:31

@kickassangel I’m sorry but your will absolutely must be properly witnessed in accordance with the law. Filming yourself signing without witnesses being physically present makes the will invalid.

Sarahandco · 17/04/2020 00:37

I was going to check to see if life insurance covers covid 19 death?

Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea · 17/04/2020 01:00

I'm a single mum of three and can't afford any of that stuff at the moment. My wages have dropped and we were barely scraping by beforehand.

magentastardust · 17/04/2020 01:02

@SorryDidISayThatOutLoud thank you for that -I didn't realise that-I will definitely use that service.

Bubblebu · 17/04/2020 01:23

OK I have got a will in place and have managed to get 2 witnesses which is all well and good and so that is valid,

More importantly - is IF (which I have not done yet) - you decided to approach your bank for a mortage holiday for cornavirus reasons is it going to affect your credit rating?

MatLeave · 17/04/2020 01:37

We have a young daughter. I agree, I have an excellent life insurance policy and ‘death in service’ policy at work however my partner has neither but has property and assets. However I have never made a will so need to get that seen too.

MatLeave · 17/04/2020 01:39

Good advice KickAssAngel. Thanks.

user3274826 · 17/04/2020 01:56

My partner is in his late 40's, some health conditions, and has life insurance with me named as the beneficiary. His pensions are down as next of kin so will go to kids, not me, until we can arrange a civil partnership (can't arrange them currently).

We rent, have no other assets, our limited savings are in a LISA in my name, I'm early 30's, very healthy, we don't have anyone we can ask to be guardian to the kids so a will or life insurance for me seems like a waste of money at the moment to be honest.

We felt like investing in life insurance for him was the most sensible thing to do.

Posts like this can be alarmist, and many people don't have wills because they rent and have no savings and nothing to leave to anyone and it would be a huge waste of their limited funds to arrange one.

UniversalAunt · 17/04/2020 02:08

‘but have nominated my OH (not married, no kids) to receive my death in service and life insurance payouts with the providers. Are these nominations watertight?’

The wording on the benefit nomination form is something along the lines of ‘at the discretion of the Trustees’ for corporate pension funds. I suggest that you double check the T&Cs of your schemes & policies for potential variations. Anything caveated, e.g. discretion, is not watertight or binding. Odds are they will pay up, but if there is an existing spouse or relative with a legitimate legal claim, then they will likely get the benefit.

If you want watertight & binding, then get married.

echt · 17/04/2020 02:18

My late DH and I made mirror wills when we moved to Australia, the main impetus being who would look after DC if we both pegged it?

Getting a new will written after DH died was a priority.

I've cancelled my life insurance as the house is paid off, DC grown up.

It sounds very obvious, but in addition to holding the will at the solicitors, have copy in an obvious place at home, e.g. the section labelled "Wills" in a filing cabinet. Smile I dragged DD to the cabinet to show her where it was if shit went sideways.

UniversalAunt · 17/04/2020 02:18

I took professional advice to write my will. Glad that I did, because as others have mentioned, it is as much who you do not want to have your hard earned assets as giving to those that you want to help.

This thread is a useful prompt to update my will soon.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/04/2020 02:23

I thought being married meant your partner and child got your assets! My financial advisor or solicitor (can't remember which) said it'll be a waste of my money making a will for this reason.

A lot of it depends on how the major things are set up. If you are set up as joint tenants for your house (tenants just as in 'people who occupy the house' - not renters, as it only applies to people who own their home) and you have all of your money in a joint account(s), your spouse won't so much 'inherit' what you leave as automatically take over in full any joint assets which you have forfeited any claim to by dying!

I suppose car ownership could be slightly more tricky as cars can't (AFAIK) be registered to more than one owner. Most other things that are already in the house would just be naturally taken over by the surviving spouse, unless there was somebody to challenge them over items that specifically and provably belonged to you only, as opposed to furniture or kitchen appliances. It's a sobering thought that most people's everyday chattels, which they spent a lifetime accumulating, would be valued at maybe £500 at the very most - unless you have valuable jewellery or paintings etc, its basic second-hand market-value status will be as 'junk'.

Even if somebody did challenge them, surely a spouse would be awarded the possessions over anybody else, unless they could make a solid legal case with proof to the contrary?

Life assurance and critical illness cover are not an option (for me at least, because of my various medical conditions and family history). We probably should make a will sometime soon, although the only thing that really concerns me is who would look after our DS if we both died before he was an adult. Everything else would go to the surviving spouse, or our son if we both died, and then, after that, presumably any surviving parents and then our sisters, which is what we'd choose anyway (parents would almost certainly pass half each straight to our sisters anyway).

Of course, anybody can die at any time, but going purely on probability, most of us will likely get (or have already had) Covid-19 and suffer minor or no effects. Those who have sadly died are naturally devastating for their families and friends, but statistically, it's an extremely tiny percentage - especially as we don't have widespread testing yet and, even when we do, many of those who do die will have done so with CV rather than necessarily exclusively from it.

Hollyhobbi · 17/04/2020 02:33

I work in a job where I see Grants of Probate/Administration and/or Wills nearly everyday. I once saw a Grant of Administration that only issued from the Probate Office 12 years after the person had died! Please make a Will if you have dependant children.

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