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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my photographer friend shouldn’t still be offering photo shoots?

90 replies

Unbelievably · 16/04/2020 16:16

My photographer friend has posted on social media saying she is still offering outdoor photo shoots where she will ensure she is a minimum of 2 meters away from families at all times.

IMO she really shouldn’t be doing this but she has a history of bending rules to suit herself.

AIBU here?

OP posts:
terkwoys · 16/04/2020 17:08

You can still go to work if it isn't 'essential' work.

Whether I'd want to actually pay someone to take my family's photograph is another matter.

ProfessorSlocombe · 16/04/2020 17:08

Well it isn't essential work, and any family out posing for photographs wouldn't be out for an essential reason either.

But once you have left your house for an essential reason, you are at liberty to fulfil non-essential duties or activities. Or so the law reads.

As with shopping. You might have left you house for bread and milk, but once you are in the bread and milk shop, if you should happen to buy a trampoline, or Mrs. Browns Boys box set, you're not doing anything wrong.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2020 17:11

Oh FFS OP

So the woman wants to keep her business going instead of living off of her husband's wage?

We used to be fiends and she would most likely class me as one

She really wouldn't if she could see this thread....

And if people travel to any unnecessary locations to be photographed, they are the ones breaking the unnecessary travel rules.

Plus it's funny how you only mentioned that bit when most people disagreed with you.

bigchris · 16/04/2020 17:12

she will want to continue working so that her plush lifestyle doesn’t have to take any hit

Wow you really don't like her do you ?!

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2020 17:12

GrimmsFairytales I know what you mean. My Dad is 88 soon and I really wish I could visit for his birthday.

unchienandalusia · 16/04/2020 17:12

I was about to post that she doesn't seem to be much of a friend, and then saw your latest update where it is clear you don't like her at all.

yes she can continue working (essential or not) if she cannot work from home

no she shouldn't be encouraging people to travel to idyllic spots for the shoot. If she does it in their hourse / garden and observes social distancing that would be ok.

Agree with PPs about how many people seem to be confused about the working thing. It isn't just essential workers. Everyone who can work should. Everyone would can work from home should.

sevencontinents · 16/04/2020 17:15

I think this post illustrates that nothing is black and white. Personally, I would not judge a friend for doing this, as long as they are obeying the rules generally (eg not attending bbqs with others outside of their household). If people can't make a living during lock down what on earth are they supposed to do? As lock downs becomes longer, I don't think this is as simple as life v death, go out to work v work from home. There are shades of grey and I think they will become more apparent as lock down goes from weeks to months to a year (as some of the press have forecast).

In fact, the shades of grey are becoming more apparent already: adaptations to the rules have already been made to acknowledge those with special needs whose lives would be VERY difficult if they were forced to stay inside for weeks. Especially if they live in small accommodation with no garden space.

Be kind. Don't judge. Get on with YOUR response to this crisis and let her get on with her's.

SeasonFinale · 16/04/2020 17:20

Oh ok you're jealous of her.

Nekoness · 16/04/2020 17:22

“My Dad is 88 soon and I really wish I could visit for his birthday.”

Best get him to flush down some wipes, block his sewer and he can pay you to come unblock it. Honestly, if you’re going to argue that there’s nothing wrong in booking a photo shoot yet also moan you can’t see your parent, it makes you sound like the types who will argue about anything for the fuck of it.

LaurieFairyCake · 16/04/2020 17:25

It's no wonder SO many people are confused. ConfusedConfusedConfused

The government have said everyone can go to work if they can't work from home and the business has not been shut by the government.

And yet I've just this second had a TFL email which says that public transport is for NHS and essential workers only.

Original poster
Unbelievably · 16/04/2020 17:26

No I don’t really like her, you’re right. She always slags off other mums on the school run for what they’re wearing, what they their hair is like or for their kids having cheap shoes on. I tried for a long time to just see past it but I reached a stage where I just can’t listen to it anymore. I find it upsetting. She is always nice about my clothes, hair etc. She tells me she is glad to have a friend like me who cares about their appearance and wears nice clothes. Sorry, but that is not a reason I want anyone to befriend me for.

OP posts:
unchienandalusia · 16/04/2020 17:31

you should have phrased this post as "this photographer person I really don't like at all" rather than "my photographer friend".

Davespecifico · 16/04/2020 17:31

Don’t like the sound of her from the description you’ve just given. I think she wants to suit herself and I could imagine that she’d be quite happy for her subjects to break social distancing rules for their photos if they were fine with it.

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 16/04/2020 17:32

Sorry OP but I really dislike this 'her husband has money so it's fine' argument.
What if the husband loses the job one day and they rely on her income?
What if her talking about the money does not reflect her real life situation?
And anyways, what does it matter if she can do it safely and some people agree- although that ay not be too many, most people are pretty paranoid anyways.
She is allowed to work unless the government decides only essential jobs can carry on, and nothing in the regulations states that what she is offering is unreasonable.

Haffiana · 16/04/2020 17:38

Just to clarify. Said friend has absolutely more than enough money to pay her bills on her DH’s income. She had been very transparent about their finances as she likes to brag about being well off. She always had to have the newest, most fancy car, designer clothes, expensive watches and looks down her nose on anyone who doesn’t have the money for these things. I have called her a friend here. We used to be fiends and she would most likely class me as one, however, I have grown really tired of the way she treats others and so I have distanced myself from her for the last few months.

She will want to continue working so that her plush lifestyle doesn’t have to take any hit.

Now we can see you for what you are. Stop disguising this horrible jealousy and envy of yours as a question about Coronavirus.

okiedokieme · 16/04/2020 17:39

Have some sympathy, she probably has a mortgage and kids to feed. Same reason my friend is cutting hair in people's homes, for my friend it's a case of working on or homelessness.

boylovesmeerkats · 16/04/2020 17:40

Good luck her finding clients although the other posts here suggest that is possible! Why a lockdown is good for any sort of photo session I don't know.

The economic argument I understand but the bottom line is people should be staying home, there is more support out there than usual for people who can't work at the moment.

I'm surprised everyone thinks this is ok, but makes me see why other countries have proper lockdowns because this is getting silly.

TabbyMumz · 16/04/2020 17:43

If they were going for a walk, ie doing their exercise, the photographer could take photos of them then.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2020 17:44

Nekoness don't be an idiot.

Most people wish they could see their loved ones.

Victoria6386 · 16/04/2020 17:50

It is her job, and she can't exactly work from home.

laidbacklife · 16/04/2020 17:50

She is not breaking any rules by doing this. Business owners can continue to work so long as they respect the 2m distance guidance. She is only offering outdoor shoots so she is going beyond what is actually required. You are not much of a friend are you.

bevelino · 16/04/2020 17:54

Don’t you just love folk who drip feed to give credibility to their original post. It hardly ever works.

Lovemusic33 · 16/04/2020 17:55

Shocked at how many people think this is ok, people obviously still don’t get the guidelines.

If she takes photos in their garden then she’s breaking the rules of “not going to other people’s houses” yes, a garden counts as someone’s house.

If she takes photos in a public space then she’s breaking the rules of only going out to exercise, shop or care for someone who’s vulnerable.

So no, she shouldn’t still be working.

Yes it’s awful that people who are self employed are not getting much support, I am one of them, but that doesn’t mean she can go against the advice to try and earn a few ££.

Starleia · 16/04/2020 17:59

Let's be realistic - she may offer her services but it doesn't mean anyone is going to avail of it! Who on earth is going to be thinking 'oh let's hire a photographer and go somewhere so they can take photos of us' - unless it is outside their front door - which is still utterly ridiculous.

@okiedokieme - you have friend cutting hair at other people's houses?!! That is the exact behavior that spreads the virus. It just takes one client and she can happily spread it to others.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2020 17:59

Shocked at how many people think this is ok, people obviously still don’t get the guidelines.

If she takes photos in their garden then she’s breaking the rules of “not going to other people’s houses” yes, a garden counts as someone’s house.

Oh the irony.

You really need to read those guidelines again.