to think dh is working late too much?

[smallparcel]

Ok, I have read these threads and know that this topic has been covered, but I kind of need to know if I AM being unreasonable.

Please don't compare my situation to yours and compare our dh's working hour - I know that what I call late will be incredibly EARLY yo some people.. I just want to know if I am complaining unreasonably....

So DH works a 20 minute drive away. His working hours are 9 - 5.30. Yet, recently he seems to be leaving at 8 and getting home at 7. I work out that even allowing for rush hour traffic, he is getting there about 8.30 and leaving about 6.30.

I left my friends and a lovely city to reloacte for dh's job. I feel very isolated and lonely here, even though I am slowly meeting new people. We have a 9 month old son, who tires me out, and so I feel that I want dh there before his bedtime to give me a break. Dh's pay is not exceptional - £37k for a management position, where other place in his industry pay WAY more - and I earn £32k if working full time ( I am currently working parttime)...

Sadly enough, for my own benefit, I have kept a record of his leaving and home times. And this appears to be a regular thing. Dh says - get used to it, it's not going to change.

So AIBU in thinking he should be home earlier?

Hi smallp, YANBU if you feel let down and isolated by his long hours.

Obviously he's trying to impress in a new role and the British disease is that jackets-on-chairs, first to go is a loser etc. BUT IMO he's earning a fantastic salary, is valued and important and should be senior enough to set a good example to those below him. Can you discuss with him whether he has to do it, is the workload too much or is he just disorganised about it?

I used to count the minutes till dh came home when mine were little, even four minutes later than he told me was enough to get me angry and tearful. Looking after a 9mo is really hard work. The dh's return is the light at the end of an often long boring tunnel of frustration and your dh needs to understand this, even if it makes you look a bit needy and pathetic. So many of us have felt this way!!

It could be that your dh is avoiding bathtime deliberately, we all know men who time homecoming to avoid it, and if this is the case he owes you the respect to admit it.

Really sympathise, and good luck