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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find my children annoying

63 replies

Pat123dev · 15/04/2020 20:12

Well....as it says! I adore my children....but....they are annoying! I feel I should be relishing the chance to spend sooo much quality time, but right now....I’m thinking ear plugs! Anyone else? The constant questions, refereeing and general mess. This lock down is really highlighting this, I’ve an 8, 6 and 5 yeAr old.
Do people exist that are able stay all rosey during this? What’s your secret?!

They’ve just gone up to bed and I can hear the thumping around while they’re no doubt playing a hilarious game! But just stfu so I can watch crap tv and eat Easter egg in peace.....

OP posts:

Waitingforadulthood · 16/04/2020 12:36

I'm hugely lucky my dc are best friends and were before this all kicked off. So they largely play nicely together or learn nicely together. But I feel guilt for not feeling fulfilled too. I know it's ridiculous and I keep counting my blessings but I'm looking back and each day is the same. I guess the dc have learned stuff and yes they are progressing in handwriting/ Spanish / whatever but it's the monotony. And frankly their conversation is cute, at best. Boring normally. And annoying most of the time- I DONT CARE about hatchimals and what this teddies name is and how many seconds they can do a handstand for and on and on and on. It sounds so harsh but I dont know how teachers with children, spend all day talking to children, then go home to talk to children. I just want to talk to adults. Or, really , I want to send my children to other adults for a few hours so that I can enjoy them again. Not school necessarily, an hour with their Nan/ swimming / just out, here and there is enough as evidenced by the summer hols. But we can't do that. And the lack of an end in sight and uncertainty does t help either

ssd · 16/04/2020 12:38

My boys are grown up now.

Anyone who doesn't view lock down with young kids as anything rather than utter hell, we I don't believe them.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 16/04/2020 12:40

I love my two teens to bits. They are wonderful human beings, and I can happily spend hours with them one on one. HOWEVER they are opposite personality types and if I leave them together for more than 30 seconds they will find something to argue about. They also never spend time doing anything together.
Having said all that I still think I have the easy job. If this had happened ten years ago, my sanity would have been in the toilet by now.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 16/04/2020 12:46

DS14 is hilarious and lovely and wonderful. I just made him some lunch and he said to me as he cleared away the plates "that was really nice Mum, thanks" and I had a fleeting moment of "oooh I really love that kid" before he then went back upstairs and shouted to his mate down the xbox microphone that he was a "massive twat" and I had to yell at him to stop swearing at his mates or they'd kick his head in when lockdown is over.

DS9 is adorable and kind and bright. And ordinarily I am mad about him. But since lockdown started he has asked, cried, cajoled and shouted about sleeping in my bed every single night. He's not been asleep til gone 11pm some nights and I am drained at the thought of having to do bedtime again tonight, tomorrow and forever until he learns to stop pissing around and just sleep like every other human. If sedating DC was a thing, I would totally do it.

You're not alone OP. Not at all.

TheOrangeFox · 16/04/2020 12:51

In or out of lockdown, my kids are annoying 90% of the time. Pre teen DD is the worst with toddler DD heading up the rear in second place. Middle DD is actually fine 80% of the time but we have very similar personalities.

Asuitablecat · 16/04/2020 13:00

I don't think the idea of children being 'fulfilling' is helpful. I suspect it's part of the middle class Victorian 'angel of the hearth' bollocks.

In the old days, kids old enough to be annoying would have been.made to be useful. Or looked after by older kids. The Xbox is taking that role in my house.

Chickenwing · 16/04/2020 13:15

Why do people have children? It still baffles me, have never understood any benefit.

rhowton · 16/04/2020 13:19

My youngest is a total knob! Can't wait for my kids to go to their grandparents for a few days once isolation is over.

ssd · 16/04/2020 13:20

Chickenwing, yes your parents were really silly.

Chickenwing · 16/04/2020 13:55

I don't know what point you are trying to make as I agree with you. Their life would have been much better without children. People on this post have decsribed being stuck with their kids as hell on earth.... its just funny that so many people continue to have a family when it's clearly not that great for life enjoyment.

golddustwomen · 16/04/2020 14:02

5 and 2 over here and driving me fucking crazy

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 16/04/2020 14:05

My Stepdaughters (5 & 9) chose around now to enter a phase where the 5 year old wants to copy the 9 year old in everything, and the 9 year old thinks this is the most annoying thing in the universe.

This is just as fun as it sounds.

Meanwhile my just-turned-1 year old baby has watched them closely and learned that shouting is an appropriate form of communication. She is therefore practicing it loudly and constantly. She's very good at it.

Minimamame · 16/04/2020 14:18

8 and 5 here...driving me absolutely insane. Fighting most of the time (they don’t get on normally anyway so it’s ten times worse now)

Goldenbear · 16/04/2020 14:20

Chickenwing, the title of the question will attract on posts mostly from those who feel the same as the OP. Personally, I have two DC and they are not annoying but that's mostly because they play together quite happily and did before the lockdown. The eldest is nearly 13 and the youngest plays with Sylvanian families, Lego etc. He will sometimes humour her and join in. Yesterday they occupied themselves with a water fight and Guinea Pig training, he also taught how to play Fortnite so they were playing with their cousins online. I am fairly laid back though so bedtime is pretty much whenever in the holidays. They get up late and we work in the morning whilst they are asleep.

I0NA · 16/04/2020 14:24

I suppose what I’m finding is a lack of fulfilment, which gives me massive guilt

Why would you feel guilt? Being stuck at home in these circumstances, with (presumably) young children IS unfulfilling for the most part! I say this as someone who is a SAHM by choice grin nothing to feel guilty about, it's human nature to want more than being a glorified servant, trapped 24/7 with mini dictators!

This. If being a full time parent to small children was that fulfilling and rewarding then more men would be doing it.

Rosebel · 16/04/2020 15:22

Just because you find your children annoying at times doesn't mean you don't love them or find them enjoyable at other times. At the moment I'm finding my husband pretty annoying too. Still wouldn't want to be without bim, same with my children. It's not usual to be together with the same people all the time, every day. It's not surprising we get on each others nerves.

QuestionableDanceMoves · 16/04/2020 16:43

Mine are doing my head in now- first couple of weeks was ok, they didn’t fight much, we did baking and creative things as well as school work. I’ve been furloughed so don’t have to try and wfh while looking after them which is a bonus because they need so much more input for school things than I anticipated.
However, the last week has been fraught. They’re getting on each other’s nerves, we’re all getting on each other’s nerves. They fight, they scream, they have hurt each other but then they will also still play nicely together fleetingly.
Motivation to be creative/ do school work is slipping each day. They’re both getting up later and later, the youngest keeps coming into my bed in the middle of the night and has been very emotional every day too. I think we’ve hit the wall, add to that the fact I’ve not had a face to face conversation with another adult since the day before lockdown started and haven’t been left alone since either, I am not the most patient of beings.
I don’t think any of us were made to be just “mum” we all need a chance to be ourselves too

Lulublu · 16/04/2020 17:18

Mine are 2 and 4... I absolutely love them to bits but I’m finding them spending so much time together. They’ve fought constantly today so I have shouted a lot. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

RainbowGlittersandSparkles · 16/04/2020 17:39

It’s my job to be home with a 2 year old all day. And it’s even Getting to me a bit!

Gre8scott · 16/04/2020 18:07

Yes I had 1!!! Shes a dream and lockdown is easy x

Frompcat · 16/04/2020 18:09

When did people putting "x" at the end of their posts become a thing? FGS, this isn't nethuns.

FourTeaFallOut · 16/04/2020 18:13

Bit of an over-reaction Frompcat, r u ok? xxx

NoNoNose · 16/04/2020 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nee35 · 16/04/2020 18:28

Omg! I feel exactly the same. I wrote a similar post on how I can’t do anything and can’t cope with my 2. One person wrote “well I manage to clean, cook and I have 4 kids” she also put up a confused sign! I’m glad I came across your thread. I feel I’m going insane and my anxiety is very very high. I was tempted to start a thread in what I’m anxious about but then was worried I might get negative responses! Thanks for posting this makes me feel I’m not alone.

soundsystem · 16/04/2020 18:42

Yep, I feel your pain! My children are delightful and we have a lot of fun, but they do not stop talking. I've implemented an hour of quiet time after lunch, when they get their iPads so I can put the baby down for a nap and listen to the radio and eat biscuits in peace, briefly!

DH was off work today and I left them with him while I attempted to do some housework, but they came with me to "help"...

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