Anyone else with this intense food phobia?

[Happymind]

I've got awfully fussy around food and its spiralled over the years.

In theory, I should be slim! (I'm about 20lbs overweight) But amazingly I am not put off by chocolate, biscuits and sweets!!

I cannot eat a premade sandwich/food, but can eat a cake in a shop, but, not if the cake is exposed on the counter (must be wrapped) (I always feel like a cake has had less handling and was baked so killing off germs)

If I go to a restaurant (rare), I need to be somewhere that has an open kitchen, yet can't sit in the direction that I can see it, as if I see one person cough, sneeze, sweat...you get the gist. Then I'm immediately put off and cant eat.

I do eat healthy at home aside from the sweet treats. But I'm so limited to what I will eat now. I have managed to put myself off of eggs as I'm thinking too much about where they're from (although I can eat it if it's used as an ingredient I.e making cakes etc).. Wont eat meat any more as I keep getting images of the fact it was alive once, with all its functions. Not ethical reasons sadly, but just the imagery I get thinking of eating meat, or eggs.

Now its milk. I can have a splash of milk in tea or coffee but not on it's own or in cereal.

I'm also starting to get weird around cheese.

I eat loads of fruit and veg at home, but will not by pre cut when I'm out. I just keep visualizing bad hygiene practice whilst someone has handled the food.

This has been a gradual thing over the years, but its slowly getting worse to the point I dread going anywhere to eat. I wont even eat at a party where theres a spread.

My solution is to carry snacks with me which is not always practical.

Anyone else like this or that has over come this?

There were paragraphs when I pressed send!

Hi, I get this kind of thinking but don't experience quite the same way.

You describe as quite obsessional, lots of over thinking and anxiety / control.

I'd be tempted to get someone professional to talk to about these things - it sounds like it's growing bigger and bigger.

I don't mean to be dismissive but it's not normal or going to go away on it's own

It sounds a bit like OCD. I get like this when I am stressed but can usually stave it off as I know the warning signs. Now is not really a great time to start but CBT is quite good for challenging thinking of this sort.

I also don’t think you’re going to be able to sort this out on your own op. Have you spoken to your GP about it before?

Yes you definitely should see a GP. Sounds like anxiety and intrusive thoughts for which there are lots of treatment options from medication to therapy. You certainly aren't alone. You should try to speak to someone as soon as you can, otherwise you are likely to end up on a narrower and narrower diet, which won't be good for your health.

Thank you for your replies. I've never seen a professional about it as it feels a bit silly? My family laugh it off saying I'm just fussy, but its these over powering thoughts.

For example, I'm so hungry right now, I want a quick simple meal. I really fancy poached eggs on toast but I know that if I was to make it, I'd start over thinking and wouldn't be able too.

Thankfully I've done well not to let my children pick up on this. They all have a balanced diet and are not fussy.

Other habits I've developed are that once I've made dinner I need to sit down immediately and eat whilst it's hot. I cant bear faffing around at dinner time and inwardly getting anxious when the kids need to get up from the dinner table to get something etc. Also hearing other people eat.. if I could I'd much rather eat alone! But I wouldn't do that as it's best that we eat together as a family where we can.

You need to speak to the professional. This is not healthy at all and I don't mean just physically.
But to make you feel bit better, even though that I am the type of person who doesn't care about use by dates, 5 seconds rule etc. I myself wouldn't buy a pre-cut fresh fruit

Thank you. I guess it is intrusive thoughts isn't it? I definitely couldn't sort this out now with all what's going on. But I am worried that is getting worse.

Thanks 'OMGT' out of interest, why wouldn't you eat pre prepared fruit?

I think CBT might be able to help with this. It's about addressing the way you think and helping you recognise when intrusive thoughts are happening, and how to reframe your thinking. Lots of areas offer online courses or workbooks, or if you think you need to speak to someone about it, then you can do this on Skype or Zoom.

I think recognising that you're being largely irrational and wanting to change is very positive - loads of people go through a whole life on a very restricted diet because they're either too scared to tackle it, or won't accept there's a problem.

I can 100% relate, especially to the egg part! For me, it started after I once got sick and spiralled after that. I ended up getting very sick because I eventually stopped eating most things apart from McDonalds chips and pasta. Dr put me on a low dose of antidepressant for a year and I received cbt and can eat normally now.

@Happymind hygiene. But for some reason I don't mind other cold things like ham etc. 🤷🏻 It's just a weird thing about cut fresh fruit

For me it started when I was pregnant and was told to avoid various foods and I started to feel that my food could be contaminated so tried to avoid eating when I was out. It definitely gets worse if I am anxious (have even thrown out everyone's dinner before serving as I thought it was too risky!) but generally now I manage to stay on top of the intrusive thoughts and not listen to them!

Hi OP. I had something of a food phobia for years, slightly different to yours in that mine was more texture based rather than the concerns you have around your problem foods. If I accidentally put an unexpected or ‘wrong’ food in my mouth I would immediately panic and feel repulsed. It was horribly limiting at social events, weddings etc. I also felt great shame for it, because it felt like an issue kids have - not grown women.

For years I told myself I was just fussy but after coming across a list of criteria for food phobias and ARFID a few years back and I realised I met a lot of them. I self referred myself to my local mental health service and had a phone consultation. I half expected they would say I was overreacting but they were very understanding and said they could see it was having a huge impact on my life, and referred me to CBT.

The CBT was eye opening for understanding how I’d just hidden and dealt with this problem for most of my life and just accepted it. I talked about the lengths I went to when it came to hiding it (pushing food around plate so it looked like I’d eaten more, hiding it in napkins, offering to collect plates so I could quietly dispose of my uneaten food). The therapist helped me understand this and taught me strategies for coping which I still use now. I also tried some foods for the first time with her, and it didn’t matter if I gagged or was repulsed.

Now I am a different woman. I still have the occasional wobble and there are still things I can’t face eating, and if I have an unexpected taste in my mouth I can panic a little, but I’m eating all kinds of foods I never would’ve even looked at a few years ago. It’s improved my life immeasurably. If you can, I would really suggest exploring CBT once things are a bit more back to normal in the world, I think it could be really beneficial.

Hi op - I have a mild form of what you’re talking about . I won’t eat home baking or soup unless I made it . I need to stop myself thinking about it before I go to a restaurant or I’d never go .

I'm probably worse than you and I've tried every therapy out there... Nothing can convince me to put the majority of foods even on my plate let alone in my mouth... As a pp said its more texture based for me but I also have the hygiene / contamination problems... Kids all eat normal healthy diets and I just never eat with them by using the excuse that I'm cleaning after cooking etc.. I can't eat in restaurants because I'm too embarrassed to order just a side dish when everyone else is eating a meal and I trust very few places/people to make my food.
I know it's a mental block somewhere... But its one I've just never managed to get past