To be anxious about kids doing nothing all day

[Whitegrenache]

Hi

I'm working from home Monday to Friday on conf calls all day.
DP not working is home along with DD14 and DS 11
It's a beautiful weather and we are extremely lucky to have land and a large garden.

Currently DD is still asleep and ds has been on x box since 7am....

My anxiety about them going outside is driving me mad.
DP says we need to leave them be.

DD will come out after I'm finished work to walk dogs and ride the horses.

Should I let it go or insist they get off technology and go outside or do I leave them be?
I'm absolutely aware we are in a very privileged position and this is not a humble brag but I'm really stressing over it

I'm.the same stressing, I have teens still.asleep, they were on Minecraft together till.3am. I'd say split the day, let them.do nothing/ gaming for a bit then try and get outside or go for a walk.
It's hard but we are all probably the same at the moment. I try and get us all for a walk or some of us each day if possible x

What is DH doing? Why can't he do something with them? Will he instigate anything in the afternoon? Even if it's just cooking lunch/dinner together or watching a movie together?

No you're right to be stressing. Your DP n you ee to step up. I'm not saying 24/7 activities but a bit of baking here, a game in the garden there. And maybe a little bit of home schooling along the way. Are their schools not setting work?

I've made sure my 15 year old holds on to soem structure. He must be up and dressed by 10, school work for an hour and a half. Two hours to himself over lunch, another hour work in the afternoon and then he goes to the gym or helps me with the little one/house work for an hour. Once 3.30 comes the day is his own and he can go on Xbox for the rest of it if he so wishes.

DP did drag them outside yesterday for a couple of hours yesterday but mainly he messes around doing stuff and leaves them be

*needs to

Good point a out doing some schooling - I'll make them do stuff at lunchtime outside
I'm not being too strict about homework as it's Easter holidays

Ok I have set them homework and DP is making them do it

Psychologist in Nz talking about exactly that
Teenagers who are used to having so much connection with their friends and their peer group, is there any substitute to that?” asked Ms Ardern.
Mr Latta said adolescents craving connection are best to be allowed “unfettered access” to devices.
“I think people worry a lot about young people and devices, but don’t,” he says.
“Having access to the internet and devices and talking on all the various platforms that they do is hugely important.
“There is a lot of stuff on the internet about screen time and how it damages this and damages that, - when you dig down into the actual science there isn’t a clear picture that lots of device use damages young people in any way.
“And certainly if it’s over a period of a few weeks, it’s not going to do them any harm at all.”
Mr Latta says a parent's single most important job is to keep stuff “calm and settled in your home”.
Allowing unlimited device use should not make parents feel as though they are failing, Mr Latta says.

Same here, except DH is upstairs working and I'm doing my usual bits and bobs of housework.
Kids just don't want to do anything, even go in the garden.
DH usually forces them out when he's finished work, but I can't be bothered fighting them all day to get them to do something.

To add: they are on holiday. Last week I was home schooling them, so I feel I'm on holiday too now.

I dont understand the angst of getting teens outside and into the garden....i couldnt give a stuff if my dd is up till 3am and then sleeps all day....we are all just getting through this....there is enough in my life to stress over....dont sweat the small stuff.

It’s as tough a time for them as it is for us.

Yes encourage them to get some fresh air but don’t make a big thing of it.

@myusernamewastakenbyme
You are totally right I'm sure

What's the obsession with getting people to sit in the garden? I see it all the time!

Leave them be. If they want to sit inside than let them.

What does stressing achieve, besides making you feel like shit?

I’m leaving mine be to do whatever they please. Life is a bit shit enough, of mine are enjoying sleeping all day and playing games all night, then whatever.

Forced outside time isn’t enjoyable if you don’t want to be there.

We've kept to routine as much as is possible. Kids are up early in the morning. I'm at work. DH at home. They do chores, gardening, and play. I've also given them activity books/quizzes to do. Their sports clubs have set challenges for them which they also do. They go daily for walk/cycle. Screen time is limited to their normal weekend usage. TV goes on after dinner at 5pm. They are not doing school work this week as off for break. But will be back at that next week. It's tough but we wanted to keep some structure for them. If they got away with it they would be on their screens all day every day. I can't say its fun. Plenty of moaning, but they're getting on with it. HTH.

They need a project.
At that age, what do you expect them to do in the garden? They need something.

Teenagers would happily potter around all night and sleep all day. Fine for the first weekend of the holidays, not fine for the entire duration of the lockdown, when they could make the most of fresh air.

They need restricted access to technology, but a clear, consistent and one that makes sense, and something to do that keep them out. My eldest wouldn't just be in the garden for the sake of it (and frankly neither would I).

Mine are 9 and 12. I insist they go for a walk with me every day. Sometimes they moan but its non negotiable as far as I'm concerned.

They both are doing lots of cooking and baking.

They also have both been given Easter holiday work from their schools.