To be pissed off about some dishes

[Shrubbish]

I spent hours deep cleaning the flat yesterday and it took me hours. I find it hard to get motivated because I have PND but have found that waking up to a clean home really helps my mood.

I did all of the washing up twice after we had eaten breakfast and tea. He didn't help. He's off work at the moment, due to the coronavirus (he doesn't have it, he's taking precautions because I'm vulnerable so taking unpaid leave)

I asked of DH one simple thing and that was to wash up the dishes that accumulated later in the evening.

I reminded him 3 times before I went to bed "please don't forget to wash those up love" and he says yes no problem. He stayed up into the early hours playing an online game with his friend.

I wake up this morning and the sink is still full.

I have PND so I'm aware I'm sensitive to feeling things more deeply than necessary sometimes, but am I being unreasonable to be really annoyed by this? He knew I expected this one small thing from him, and he walked past the damn things on his way to bed and thought "nah, can't be arsed"

YANBU - I would be angry too
YABU - it's some dishes, don't be ridiculous

Why didn't he help you with the rest of the cleaning? Is he always this useless?

You're not being unreasonable. Selfish, lazy manchild.

He went out to do our two weekly shop yesterday so was out for a bulk of the time I spent cleaning, but when he got home I made a point of saying I wanted to keep the place nice a clean as it improves my mood considerably.

I have addressed it. I began doing the washing up to which he replied "I was going to do that"

I said yes I asked you three times if you would do it before you go to bed but you've sat on your game until the early hours then looked at the washing up and thought you couldn't be bothered. I think it's disrespectful given the time I took yesterday to make the place spic and span.

Cue sheepish silence for an hour and then him testing the waters by talking about the piers Morgan interview on GMB

What's he doing right now? Go and say 'Could you do the dishes now please', just that.

I'd have carried the dirty dishes over to where he was sitting and stacked them on his lap

I think you need to have a sit down and a serious talk with him. If after that there was no change to his behaviour, I'd call it a deal-breaker - I couldn't live with someone I had to beg and nag constantly to show me and our home respect.

I'd be fuming. Try to let it go now and move forward. If it happens again you need to have a serious talk about the impact on your mental health. He should be trying to help you and he's not by the sounds of it.

I'm over all that kind of shit. I would have got him out of bed to do them.

Or piled just left them until he got up - with all the things I'd used up to then.

Don't wait for it to happen again. Just make it clear.

I have this problem with DH he is always finding something else to do if I ask for help, I found saying to him 'can you do ABC while I do XYZ' works as then he knows he has a set time to do it and doesn't feel I am asking him to do something while doing nothing myself.