Brother flitting between households

[Putyourdamnshoeson]

DB 32, in ordinary times he lives with DPs in the week and his GF at weekends.
I have found out, through social media, that he is still doing this. I raised it with DPs on phone (we live a plane ride apart, but still all in UK) DF mutters to DM off speakerphone and she says loudly, to him that it's none of my business. We don't have a good relationship, I do with DF not DM or DB, who often gang up on me (and other people, it's their thing).
DM is early 60s, and vulnerable DF a few years older and technically not vulnerable but overweight. Both smokers. DB is type 1 diabetic, sent home from work 3 weeks ago to shield and about to start a complex wfh set up today.
DB's GF works at a GP surgery.
I'm furious about the shuttling back and forth, presumably upping the infection risk significantly.
AIBU to worry? AIBU to be cross?
I know IABU to chickenout of a further confrontation on it. I am a professional 40 Yr old woman, who raises delicate matters sensitively for a living fgs, and yet I just don't know what to do here.

Your DB and DM are both irresponsible idiots.

Report him.

I'm so tired of folks saying it's not nice to report family members, but the fact is that people are taking the piss and they shouldn't be. If they won't behave of their own accord then they need to be made to. Simple as.

Of course you are not unreasonable to worry or be cross. But you do nothing. They are all adults and make their own choices. You need to make yours. But you can make it clear to them if they get ill because of this you will not be flying home to support them.

@Mumdiva99 I don't think we could even if I wanted to, which, no, I really don't.

I'm sure that the girlfriend's employers would be pleased with them being doctors.

What the hell is all of this “report him”? What do you expect the police to do - a stakeout to catch him in the act of moving between houses? FFS

You’ve made you views clear, now you need to drop it. Saying anything else isn’t going to change his mind, it’s just going to get you more worked up

@huntIdeas I've not said anything to him. Only to DPs. They won't say anything to him, because he's hugely volatile and they like an easy life.
I won't report him, long, complicated reasons, also agree, not sure how he'd be 'caught'.
Given where his GF lives though, high liklihood of her neighbours reporting him rocking up every Friday night.

You’ve made your views clear, nothing else you can do.

I tend to agree. But, by made my views clear, I have literally asked 'is DB moving between houses?' and got short shrift.
I think I'm struggling with the 'what if one of them gets it and dies', but the fact is, they all know the risks and are choosing, for whatever reason to ignore them. It's not my job to save anyone.
I agree I need to butt out and try to put it out of my mind. It's DF I feel for most.

Op in my 0art of the UK the police are actively encouraging people to report on others breaking lockdown rules ...because the more people that flout the rules, the more this is going to spread, the more that will die...and we will all end up on even stricter rules and this is going to drag on for even longer..

If it's on social media that he is in both houses, screen shot it and make sure you have the date and report him for flitting between two households, and his girlfriend for letting him.stay (households arent meant to mix)...and working at a GP surgery she should know better ,

Report them ....if everybody who knows someone who flouts the lockdown rules turns a blind eye, then this is just going to keep spreading and lockdown will drag on for the foreseeable future

The irony here is that he already lost a job once for posting a pic on social media, showing him drinking a pint, having driven to a city 100 miles away, when he was off sick with something that would've prevented him sitting in a car for that long, let alone driving.

*my part of the uk

They are incredibly stupid, given that the GF is not able to self isolate.

I think I would have sent a separate é mail to DB saying that you really fear for your DPs and concerned since his Gf’s keyworker status puts her at risk (bigging up how great it is that she is working for the health service etc) and is he not worried about bringing the virus to your poor vulnerable parents?

And speak separately to your Dad and see how he really feels.

Do your DPs really tiptoe around their sun because of his volatility, or do they just indulge him?

But in the end they have chosen to put themselves at risk, so what can you do?

Oh, your latest post... he is really thick, isn’t he? And massively entitled.

I would talk to your Dad and see if he wants support to stand up to this situation. What have you got to lose? Your relationship with your DM and DB is already shot to hell.

I would not think about it any further
. They are all adults. All you can do is live your own life.

@HuntIdeas most police forces have a form you can report people with online with regard to covid19, and shit like this is why.

People not taking it seriously are why we are still seeing people dying.

"People not taking it seriously are why we are still seeing people dying."

That's not quite the full picture. People are still dying who got infected before the lock down. A lot of the people dying (i know five) didn't break lock down rules, so they contracted it before or during shopping. In one case the Father's carer was carrying the virus and he infected his son who he lives with. His son is on oxygen in hospital. The carer also needed hospital admission.

We need to stop the blame. Our government let this in and spread before they took action.

Ponoka7 I don't think you can blame the government for the virus making its way here. Had we shut off the UK in November/December when the first reports were coming out of Wuhan there would have been uproar. I had to go back to Belgium in January, and it wasn't on the radar in a big way in either country then. I don't think anyone could have stopped it getting to the UK.

They could have moved to slow the spread though.

Is the GF actually working in the surgery though? Our GPs are only doing phone consultations and some staff are wfh. Is it possible GF is doing that? Course you're Db and Dm are still BU, but you're far away and don't get on so don't see what good a confrontation could possibly achieve.

She is going in to the surgery. But I'm not certain that it's open to the public.

They are being very careless with their health, especially with your DB being diabetic.

However.... The four of them could have chosen to move in together at the start of lockdown perfectly legally. The risk would be exactly the same as now, in fact higher as they would definitely be together when one developed symptoms, rather than possibly apart.

So although it's foolish, I probably wouldn't take it any further.

That is true @mocktail but if that is the stance we're taking, then why can't we visit our inlaws? I mean, we can't. We leave food on the doorstep, wave and might have a driveway length chat.

Because you're doing the right thing and keeping them safe. Your brother isn't. I'm just not sure it's a serious enough breach to have a big fallout or report them though.

The irony here is that he already lost a job once for posting a pic on social media, showing him drinking a pint, having driven to a city 100 miles away, when he was off sick with something that would've prevented him sitting in a car for that long, let alone driving.

Then you already know he's an arsehole and a stupid one at that. Not sure this should therefore be much of a surprise?
Maybe educating your DP slightly more on the risks he is leaving them at should be the approach?