I gave birth 5 days ago and my mental health has just plummeted. I’m high risk for postnatal depression due to having bipolar disorder but I also have bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Every day so far has been filled with crying and I know that’s normal but I am crying over the fact that I’m terrified my son will die. I’ve got a sore throat and I’m convinced I’m getting corona virus. I’ve nearly died twice in the past and I believe bad things just always happen to me so I don’t know why I’ve been blessed with my baby boy. I feel like I have been given him to see what love is really like and then he will be taken away from me to teach me a lesson. Good things don’t happen to me. I’m crying as I write this. I’m so scared I’m going to lose him. I keep having thoughts about all the bad things I have said and done in the past when I was immature, having my son has made me grow up and now I think how could I ever have said such horrible things and now I’m going to be punished for it as it’s karma. I’m so anxious and I am just convinced something bad is going to happen because it always does. Is this normal?