Havent told my family about my baby

[Stargazer2404]

Had to NC for this. So last year i moved out of my mums home to move in with my partner. My mum does not approve of him.

My ex husband was the same religion etc, so she wanted me to stay with him for the sake of family honor bla bla. I am still married, but we are separated. I had no money to pay for a divorce then and have now filed for one - its on hold because of coronavirus

My partner, is of a different religion and therefore she practically disowned me once i had left. She gave me the option to choose between her, or him. I had to do what was right for me.

Anyways, for the whole of last year she wouldnt talk to me properly. Dead replies, told me how i dishonoured her and the family..i fell pregnant and didnt want to tell her because i truly felt like i was the only one trying to have a relationship with her, and i was fed up so i was planning to stop talking to her all together since she only had mean things to say..and its only in october she started comin around to accepting it.

She still tells me how she will never accept my partner but will forgive me. Tbh that is good enough for me because i miss my mum.
I lost my dad when i was young..then when my mum disowned me i felt like an orphan

So because she started talking to me again, i felt like i would get disowned AGAIN if she found out that im pregnant now and i couldnt bare to take the pain. Now dd is 12 weeks old, and my family doesnt even know. I feel so depressed.

Im married to a guy who i dont love, i have a kid (who nobody knows about) with another man, i also have a son from my marriage aswell...what the f have i done with my life

Would you all be safe disclosing your baby? I don’t know which cultural background you’re from, but if you think you could be at risk from your family, your ex or his family, then do not disclose to your mother. Continue no contact.

Might be a good idea to try to get the divorce through before the baby is born. Last thing you need is your separated husband being the legal father of the baby you're having with your DP.

You don't need to be 'forgiven' for a damn thing. Your mother doesn't have to accept your situation BUT that's a reflection on HER, not you. She is the one losing out, not you.

I honestly think you should give some thought to whether or not you want or need her in your life. Sounds as if she doesn't add much to it.

You sound extremely strong to me OP. Is the religion JW?
I think you need to realise the only person who needs to be happy in all this is yourself,
Be honest and hold your head up high.
You my lovely are the rational one.

Thank you all so much for your replies. Everyones been so kind. I agree with you guys.. if my mum decides not to be in my life after i tell her, then i should move on with my new family.

One thing i know for sure is i wont be treating my children like she has treated me. No matter who they marry, irrespective of religion, gender, colour, race - ill be happy if theyre happy.

Tell your mum. I bet she’ll be really happy once the initial shock goes.