AIBU To be worried about daughters reason and writing

[Wouldkillforabigmac]

Hi, my daughter has been quite poorly her whole life but has had a tough year. She is 6 and barely has anytime in year 1 and then the lock down happened and she is unlikely to be a child who can return to school straight away. So the likely hood she would of missed all of year 1.

I am able to do maths with her quite easy but struggle to engage her with phonics / reading and writing.
She can not read or write ( she can write as in fine motor skills but not from a spelling/ writing independently way )
I am worried that this will not mean she will stay behind.
It is not what’s most important for me but I don’t want her sickness to have an impact on the rest of her life if I can prevent it. My friends with kids similar ages seem to think their kids are fluent readers and writers and often point out that she is not.
Has anyone had a 6 year old who has struggled with reading and writing but has in fact caught up long term ?

Sorry on my phone that was meant to say reading and writing !!!

My DD10 struggles to reach ‘expected’ but we’ve really managed to improve her reading and comprehension this year by making sure she reads every single day and give her a minimum Number of pages to do.
As your DD is only 6 I wouldn’t expect too pages per day, just a couple, but I think keeping the regularity is key.
Also I think your friends are a bit rude to point this out to you! It’s literally none of their business.

What kinds of things have you tried in terms of engaging her with phonics etc? I can suggest a few things but you may have tried them.
Have you tried using bath crayons to practice words on the side of the bath? My Dd loved that because it felt forbidden, like writing on the wall! I also saw a great Facebook where the phonics were written on flash cards and stuck to a wall with blue tac. When the parent gave the sound the kid had to shoot the right letters with a nerf gun.
The other thing I find helps is giving her a reason to read. So, for example, my Dd loves cooking. I have a very basic cookbook and when we bake things out of there, she has to read the recipe. But she is reading for a purpose so she doesn’t seem to mind.

can't comment on catching up but my dd is 6 and in y1. she's behind in everything and I've been trying to catch her up whilst WFH.

a few things I can recommend, flash cards with tricky/common words, go through them each day 'to see how many more she knows' and a word of the day to focus on. same for diagraphs.

writing a short sentence about her day e.g. we went to the woods, or I made a robot. let her have a go then gently offer for her to look at the tricky words to correct spelling if in right frame of mind.

reading every day at least 2 pages.

5 minute mum has lots of suggestions of how to make learning fun.

My 6 year old is good at reading for his age and very good at maths. His writing isn't great. He has a game he plays called Reading Eggs which he likes which covers phonics/reading/spelling (about £25/year but it tests them at the beginning so you get games and activities at the right level), we had the Teach your Monster to Read app when he was younger (99p) and that is good for very early readers, letter sounds etc.

My eldest child was very slow to learn to read but is now at expected level or above for reading (at age 8). One day he discovered that if he could read he could intercept my text messages and read the calendar to see what we were doing. Once he saw the point of reading, it wasn't easy but he was more motivated. He doesn't read phonetically so didn't massively benefit from the methods they use in school but found his own way eventually. I'm hoping he will do the same with writing.

A lot of children actually can't read or write at the age of 6. One of my best friends at university was in a remedial class for his first two years at primary school because he was so slow learning to read. He's now a top criminal barrister.

Honestly, don't panic. Do try and engage her with reading, particularly, but don't make a big deal of it, and don't worry. There's absolutely no reason to think she won't catch up or even overtake her peers.

Also, remember in some countries they don't even start school until they're 7. Six is still very young.

I would be extremely suspicious if all the six year olds you know in Y1 can read! Is she making progress? If not you might want to try different approaches. My DSs love the foam letters we have in the bath. I spend a lot of time reading nonsense whilst DS1 (7) critiques my phonics to DS2’s (4, not yet at school, can do his name and no more) great amusement.

The fruit don’t fall far from the tree does it?

Could phonics games on the computer help to engage her? My son is Y1 and he absolutely loves phonics games.

With writing, can she form letters? If not, start with that. It doesn't have to be pen and paper -trace them in sand/finger paint or chalk them outside. Bath crayons also might work.

Again, to read, she needs to know letter sounds so practicing those will help. I am a big believer in reading to children as well. Even if she can't read herself, you reading to her and talking about books and stories will help her a lot. As well as books, read things in the house - tins/food packets etc.

Finally, as hard as it is, don't worry too much about her being 'behind'. It sounds like she has been through a lot. She will get there in her own time and she will have her own strengths.

I worked as a TA in a reception class for some years, these are the books we used for children struggling to read www.phonicbooks.co.uk/product/dandelion-launchers-units-1-3-sam-tam-tim/
The children loved them.
We have also had a child repeat the reception year and at the end of that 2nd reception year he was a calmer, happier child, repeating reception can be a very positive decision to make.

Try Reading Eggs app. It's really good.

She s 6. She has plenty of time.
Keep reading books with her.
She s been ill.
Dont stress.
Youngest dd was not a reader til 7 or later...now top student. But even if your dd is slower to read you can get extra support later.
Make it fun.

My DD didn't take to reading or writing in reception or year 1 and she didn't have any under lying health conditions like your daughter. My DD really took off in year 2 so though behind with English, not Maths, I think that it was a maturity thing. Children don't start formal lessons in some countries until 6/7. My daughter caught up around year 8/9 for English and 2 of her 3 A Levels are essay based subjects.

I would try not to stress too much, read to her every day and perhaps encourage motor skills but keep it fun at all times.

Also I was a parent helper and I listened to the year 1's through to year 3's and believe me there was a huge range of abilities in an outstanding school. Other parents can be very competitive so I don't believe that the rest of the year group are fluent readers yet. All children learn at different rates.

Have you had her hearing checked? My friend's son was behind with reading/spelling, but it was because he couldn't hear the difference between certain sounds, so couldn't work out why they would have different spellings.

Read anything and everything with her - cereal packets, recipes, instructions, newspapers - absolutely anything you see. She will pick it up.

I got the How to teach your monster to read app and that’s quite good. I’ve also done a reading eggs trial which was also good, but no money to pay for it now!!

My daughter has just moved to level 6 and I’m trying to do as much reading as possible with her at the moment. Luckily I got loads of reading books out the library before lock down, so today she read 3 books.

The Oxford Owl website has some free reading books on there.

Try and read the same books/pages over a few nights so she gets used to the words and increases her confidence.