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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to book my wedding in this climate?

23 replies

inlawsimnotsure · 14/04/2020 15:10

We have our wedding pencilled in for a year on Friday. If you were me, would you still make plans as if it was going ahead?

Or look to cancel / postpone? We'd rather just have registry office wedding rather than push back to 2022 but would be sad not to have the wedding we'd hoped for.

Just to caveat - I do know this is a small problem in the scheme of things.

OP posts:

OhClover · 14/04/2020 15:12

How much are you planning on spending? I wouldn’t necessarily spend £50k on a 200 person Claridges wedding unless you can get insurance, because no one can say for sure. However I think it is very likely that by next April gathering won’t be banned, but it’s very hard to say anything with certainty.

Original poster

inlawsimnotsure · 14/04/2020 15:14

Not quite that much but a lot. We don't need to spend any large amounts until closer to the time - it's just more inviting people and planning it only to have to postponed when we know the situation.

OP posts:

Jammymare · 14/04/2020 15:14

We are in the same situation, although looking at dates around the beginning of July 2021. Have a feeling local venues will be fully booked with postponed dates though.

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/04/2020 15:16

Could you have a small registry office do, then a big do on your anniversary? We've got a family wedding scheduled for next Easter, and I'm very apprehensive.

mencken · 14/04/2020 15:17

a year ahead is madness at the best of times, especially if you have elderly relatives you want to be there. obviously nothing can be booked at the moment, but when normality returns just do it.

you don't need a giant fancy frock party that will take over your life.

PennyGold · 14/04/2020 15:17

I'd plan as normal! But make sure you have insurance.

peperethecat · 14/04/2020 15:20

If you know which venue you want then I would get in there and book it right away. Next year will probably be a bumper year for weddings what with people who have had to postpone their weddings this year all trying to get married next year instead. And venues might hike up their prices next year to make up for the loss of revenue from this year. So I'd book yours ASAP if I were you. (And make sure you have good wedding insurance from day one.)

browzingss · 14/04/2020 15:22

I think we’ll be over the worst of the virus in 12 months, but the issue is that we probably won’t have a vaccine. Obviously only time will tell what may actually happen, but I assume that we will have a staggered approach to normality eg most businesses open but social distancing still in force. So this may mean that large gatherings such as your wedding may either be banned or have restrictions, or vulnerable people may still be advised to shield so may not be able to attend etc

OhClover · 14/04/2020 15:22

a year ahead is madness at the best of times

What?!

I would do it if you can cancel before you spend too much. If it has to be postponed for coronavirus reasons, people will understand. Whatever you decide I hope you have a lovely day!

Lemonblast · 14/04/2020 15:23

I’d keep it simple and streamlined. There’s a possibility that we will continue to see fluctuating periods of restrictions for an indefinite period.
And as with travel insurance, I doubt wedding insurance will cover pandemic related costs in future.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/04/2020 15:23

I’d probably go ahead OP- surely a lot of people from this year will be looking to rebook for next year. May want to get in quick.

Lynda07 · 14/04/2020 15:28

In your place, op, I'd have a small do at the registrar or place of worship with a few people (or even just the two of you), as soon as it is possible and when all restrictions are lifted, book a big party somewhere nice. We really don't know how the current situation is going to work out, planning now may lead to disappointment but if you are well, you and your friends and family will have something to look forward to.

Good luck, I'm sure better things are ahead.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/04/2020 15:30

You won't get insurance that covers corona related cancellation of anything until it's all properly gone away, which could be a year away or more.

To be honest, if you want to get married, I'd book that in for the registry office on any convenient date and make arrangements later for a big party some time in the next year or two, to have as a family celebration for your wedding when we can reliably book things like this again.

onanothertrain · 14/04/2020 15:35

I'm getting married in December and am carrying on arranging it until I know otherwise

Pandamittens · 14/04/2020 15:36

Ours is already booked for the same date next year so I'm crossing everything that it will be ok. We had booked and paid deposits for the venue, reg office and suppliers just before all this happened.
Ours is in the uk but not local and family only so I hope weddings and travel in uk is ok by then. We were already having a simple wedding but venue was pricer due to location, I'm still nervous in case we loose all our money.
Personally I would either keep it small and simple and be flexible or wait a bit longer if you want things a certain way.

ChocolateDove · 14/04/2020 15:39

If you do go ahead and book, which you should as dates will be going fast, then I wouldn't bother getting insurance.

Book the big stuff and pay deposits only. Then keep all money for everything in a separate savings account. You only have to pay places at last minute, usually like a week to a month before the date. You won't lose a massive amount of money this way, only deposits which you would lose regardless. With insurance, you might not be covered (won't be with corona) so you'll lose everything very likely.

You'll still have a ton of money in an account and nothing much to panic over apart from a lost date.

BlueJava · 14/04/2020 17:05

Personally I don't think I'd book a big wedding for a year ahead. We don't know how long Covid-19 restrictions will last, neither do we know if it will have a re-surgence. I think I'd book a small wedding but spend as little as possible, then book a big party when things were more certain. Good luck OP, it's a very tricky one, but you potentially lose a lot. If you are going to book make sure you are covered by insurance.

Chickenwing · 14/04/2020 18:47

My wedding was this month and ive rescheduled for December. Everything should be back to normal then. Fingers crossed!

Purpleartichoke · 14/04/2020 19:35

I think I would just go get married and then have a vow renewal/big celebration when things get back to normal. It can be on your anniversary if you want, but really, it doesn’t matter when you have it.

DH and I had to do our wedding and our legal marriage separately. We celebrate the day we got up in front of family and friends and said vows. The government part is more important really, but what mattered to us was the family event. Some people know that we had separate ceremonies, but we didn’t make a big deal out of it.

I’ve had friends do the same. One couple had 3 weddings, the legal one, one in his families cultural traditions, and one in her families cultural traditions. They were the only people at the legal one (aside from witnesses). Parents and siblings attended both cultural weddings. Everyone else got invited to one or the other.

Biscuitsneeded · 14/04/2020 19:43

Well this is the acid test really, isn't it? Do you really want to BE married, in which case book a reg office do for ASAP and have a celebration later when you know you can, or GET married and have a ginormous event with all the accompanying fanfare? If it's the latter, I would wait. If you really want to be married then go ahead but don't stake £1000s on it.

TheGinGenie · 14/04/2020 19:54

Equally if this pandemic has shown us anything it's that we have no idea what might happen in the future so there's not much point guessing. I'd say this year is off, but we don't know about next year so I'd book it and probably pay more attention to things like insurance than I previously would have

Original poster

inlawsimnotsure · 15/04/2020 13:46

ok thanks all!

we actually have already booked the venue (only paid a small deposit). I think we will carry on planning but not make any large payments until closer to the time and keep everything crossed.

@MereDintofPandiculation I am wondering if you are on of our guests :)

OP posts:

ChocolateDove · 16/04/2020 12:25

Yeah just save all of your money in one account and only pay deposits on things like venue, photographer and band.

I'd also have a separate small wedding plan with a separate small guest list so you know what you'd do in that situation too. I've done that as well so I'm prepared for restrictions still being in place which there may be. Big weddings won't be allowed, but small ones might be.

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