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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I say something now after being at a loss for words

67 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 14/04/2020 12:46

My apartment block has a secure glass front door. I could see a young neighbour and her 6 monthish puppy standing on the outer side of the door so after pushing the button that opens this door I stood back to wait for them to move to the side so I could exit while keeping social distancing. Neighbour sees me then unexpectedly commands the puppy to sit and stay in the middle of the exit. I was about to ask if she would move a few feet when puppy runs to me and starts jumping up so neighbour then has no option but to get very close to me to grab the excited pup.

I was so taken back that I didn't say anything. Now I'm in two minds whether or not to write a note mentioning 1) that Body Corp rules state that dogs must be either on a lead in communal areas or carried and 2) blocking the front door was inconsiderate especially now with SD guidelines.

It's unlikely this situation will happen again but her thoughtlessness has upset me a little. Stressful times atm aren't they?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 14/04/2020 12:52

Let it go.

It was once single "incident"

opticaldelusion · 14/04/2020 12:53

You were 'so taken aback' that a puppy got excited and someone instinctively went to grab it? I wonder how you'd act if your neighbour actually took a shit the other side of this door. Or, you know, something genuinely disturbing happened.

WickedlyPetite · 14/04/2020 12:54

The time to say something has passed.

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/04/2020 12:54

It was once and hopefully it wont happen again.

squishedgrapes · 14/04/2020 12:55

I don't understand why you didn't just ask her politely at the time

Bluntness100 · 14/04/2020 12:55

Just let it go. She was likely trying to train the puppy. Yes. Not the best time, but really don’t be writing letters.

squishedgrapes · 14/04/2020 12:56

Oh I just read your op properly. You still could have asked. And she probably asked the pup to sit to try to stop him jumping up

RandomSelection · 14/04/2020 12:57

It sounds like it all happened in a rush, and they got a bit flustered and reacted accordingly. It doesn't sound like they were deliberately trying to break any rules. Personally I would let it go this time but have something in mind for if it should happen again.

elQuintoConyo · 14/04/2020 12:57

Jeez, let it go.

Macncheeseballs · 14/04/2020 12:59

Yanbu, peoples dogs shouldn't be jumping all over people, it really annoys me

WorraLiberty · 14/04/2020 12:59

So many people on MN who are apparently so 'taken aback' they don't say anything at the time and opt instead to write a note Hmm

Just give her a knock, stand well back and speak to her.

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 14/04/2020 13:00

I was actually bothered that she didn't move and chose to stay where she and the pup blocked the exit. Why would someone think that is ok?

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 14/04/2020 13:23

I would focus on being ready to deal with it differently if you run into them again in similar circumstances. In which case your choices, I think, are either go back inside and wait till she and her not very well trained dog are out of the way, or be firmer from the start - e.g. say 'Move out of the way, stop blocking the exit please!' if she did the sit and stay thing in the foyer again.

TheOrigBrave · 14/04/2020 13:24

I really doubt she was thought it was OK, and if so then you writing her note won't make any difference.

I imagine she just didn't think and inadvertently made a mistake - ever done that yourself?

Speak to her directly if it happens again.

She's probably having a dreadful time being unable to socialise her pup.

heartsonacake · 14/04/2020 13:45

YABU and overreacting. The time to say something has gone. Let it go.

motherheroic · 14/04/2020 13:50

@Macncheeseballs It's a puppy. The only way to get it to stop is to train it, and that involves them jumping on people so you can correct the behaviour and get the association going.

As for the OP. The time has passed.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 14/04/2020 13:51

The time has passed to address it. Don’t give it any more headspace.

SmallChickBilly · 14/04/2020 13:58

@Macncheeseballs It's a puppy. The only way to get it to stop is to train it, and that involves them jumping on people so you can correct the behaviour and get the association going.

Is it really recommended that you let puppies jump up at unknown people as part of training? That might explain a lot of the behaviour I see among dog owners in my area, but I still think it's a bit much to expect other people to effectively volunteer for the job!

ravenmum · 14/04/2020 14:00

Neighbour sees me then unexpectedly commands the puppy to sit and stay in the middle of the exit. I was about to ask if she would move a few feet when puppy runs to me and starts jumping up
Sounds like your neighbour had the dog off the lead because there was no-one out there. So when you unexpectedly opened the door, she had to try to stop the dog from moving so that she could grab it - so she ordered it to sit. But the dog is too young to obey this yet, so unfortunately it didn't work and she had to grab it near you. Now she'll have learned her lesson that even if no-one is there she needs to keep the dog on the lead when outside. She's only had the dog a short time, presumably she's only just started going out with it and is still learning herself. Covid is making it more complicated, in unexpected ways. You should probably assume that it was a mistake and she's worked that out.

If you see her with the dog off the lead again that would be different. In that case, you could politely say "Sorry, but I think at the moment you should keep the dog on the lead, so that you don't have to approach anyone if it goes near them".

FlaskMaster · 14/04/2020 14:03

How big was the puppy that it blocked the exit? Surely you could have just stepped over, around or past it with no issue.

Macncheeseballs · 14/04/2020 14:03

I don't care what it is, I don't want it jumping on me.

givemeacall · 14/04/2020 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 14/04/2020 14:09

What a great idea Flaskmaster!! Step over or around a dog that is not being still. I suggest you try doing that.

OP posts:
byebyebeautiful · 14/04/2020 14:17

Time for a wee drink and a sit down OP, you need to let this go :)

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/04/2020 14:18

This is a very mild annoyance. You’ve led a charmed life OP if this has left you “at a loss for words” and “considering writing a note”