DC have beeMy DC have been gone for a week and don't want to come home

[Pleasecomehome]

My children have been gone for over a week. and they were suppose to come home tonight. They're staying at their dads 10 mins away, but they've just asked their dad to stay another night and he said he'll bring them tomorrow.

They have PS4 and iPad there, which they play on a lot. I don't have it here, I keep telling myself that that's the only reason they like it there, but it still hurts that they don't want to come home. They are always so excited to go to their dads, but they never want to come home. It just upset me, I don't know what's wrong with me. I even cried today when he told me they want to stay another night, partly because I miss them and haven't seen them for a while, and because I was sad and upset that they didn't want to come home.

Even a bit embarrassed tbh, what must his partner think when they say they don't want to go home. I feel horrible

My children are under 10 btw.

It will be the PS4 and IPad, not like Dad can take them fun places atm is it

Try not to get upset, they are bored and can kill that boredom with their gadgets at their dads

Do you have a partner or have you been on your own

Awww OP!!

They've been off school, no doubt chilling and got into an easy swing of things with screen time and doing whatever they want. It's always novel going to Dad's isn't it - try not to take it personally, it will be the draw of the PS4 rather than anything against you!

My children - all teens or very close to teens - made the decision that they would protect the youngest who has asthma by not going to their dad’s during lockdown. What that actually means is dad has poor internet access and I am being fairly relaxed about screen time so they have no intention of rocking that boat. It’s not personal - and my ex knows it so isn’t being difficult. Try not to worry, they get different things from their parents - mine have already said they are looking forward to spending time with him when lockdown is over.

1000000% it’s the gadgets op

Don't take it personally - they like the PlayStation and iPad!

I can totally sympathise - my DS 8 is an only child and I'm a single mum. His DF has 2 stepsons so he loves going there because he's not so bored. When he's with me he's sad, teary and it breaks my heart. I try my best to play etc but there's only so much I can do😢

@waaahhh it's upsetting isn't it? I really miss them, but sometimes they say they didn't miss me Last time they went to their dads, after being at my house for ONE DAY DD cried saying she missed daddy. And in my head I was like, you've literally just came back from his house yesterday after staying for a week. You can miss him after being away from him for one day, but don't mind being away from me for a WEEK 😢

Can they not bring the gadgets home with them whilst this is going on and share them between the two houses?

Why can't they bring the gadgets home ? Would make alot of sense with them being stuck indoors at the moment.

Just take the iPad and PS4 to your house ffs

Please try not to show this to them, especially when you say about asking them if they’ve missed you.
It’s just not fair and it shouldn’t be a competition. I know it’s hard, I’m going through it right now but I’ve told my son he can stay as long as he likes and he welcome home anytime. I’m giving him the freedom to choose.

I'd like this! Defo gadgets!!!

My DS is 14 and he has such a close relationship with his Dad. They have so much more in common and spend hours talking about football.

I'm the strict one, who makes him do homework and chores. His Dad doesn't have rules and boundaries. However his Dad's flat is a shit-tip and my house is done up nicely and is clean. I'm organised and quite chilled out, whereas his Dad gets stressed very easily and shouts.

He prefers to be at home with me most of the time because he has his PS4 and good wifi.

We both offer him different things in life, but he loves us equally for very different reasons.

I bet your children say they miss you when they are at their Dads - they just don't feel the need to tell you that when they come home.

Is it possible for you to buy them some gadgets so they will look forward to coming home , even just for that reason. Plus it will help you to have some "me time" when they do come home. Make plans with film nights too. You know they love you, they are just living in the moment and enjoying themselves.

Call their Dad now and ask if he can bring the gadgets when he drops them off tomorrow. (Presuming you have internet connection- sorry). Also, have something fun planned for when they return. Maybe have a late night and all snuggle up with a movie and snacks.
Don't be sad and feel second best- they will sense it.

I always tell myself that my kids taking me totally for granted is a sign that they feel secure that I will always be there with the unconditional love.

And they would definitely choose a PS4 over me, ungrateful sods. I think it shows good parenting, they are completely secure and confident of your love for them.

Play dirty. Buy better gadgets.

@iMoan7 it’s not a competition - they can just move the gadgets between the houses

Are you fairly newly separated OP?

Howfar I wasn’t being entirely serious (but I am petty enough)

It might just be a phase they're going through.

Well, if it's the kids' tablet then it should go between houses, but if it's the dad's tablet I doubt he'll be willing.

I send DS to his dad's with the tablet, but without the switch for example.

Just take the iPad and PS4 to your house ffs

OP can’t do that if they are her ex’s gadgets.

Can’t they come to a compromise? Does their dad use the gadgets or only the kids. If it’s only the kids, they can take the gadgets with them. I’m sure their dad will be happy to oblige if he doesn’t use them

Thing is it is hard for dc when parents are apart. They love you both, yes they may like the gadgets too but he is there father so why wouldn’t they want to spend time at his.

It’s tough for you but they have 2 parents. They don’t love you any less, it’s not personal.

Do something nice for yourself tonight and they will be home tomorrow