Or is DH over the fence?

[JeezMa]

Housing association property.

For some reason when they did the fencing about 4 years ago they did the left hand side and back, but not the right hand side.

So left and back are concrete posts, bases and panels.

Right hand side were just wooden posts and panels.

They blew down winter 2018.

Both me and neighbour are on very low incomes.

We've battled since to get fencing approved but HA will not pay.

So here's the thing. DH said to her a while back about going halves.
Her son has SEN so she was trying to get a grant, but it's been dragging on over 12 months.

We are of different cultures and I think she just doesn't feel comfortable letting her kids play out in the back garden with no fencing.

It's just one big open space.

I try and keep my dogs in the front garden but they get out with the kids and go into hers all the time.

Now she just doesn't use it.

I have received some money from a budgeting loan. 0% finance really

I ordered fencing supplies (£370) with it so we can finally get it done.

I went and told neighbour.

I told her that I would cover the whole amount and I didn't want half

Simply because, even though its not my fault the fence blew down I feel like because my kids are out everyday and we have dogs she hasn't been able to use the garden and she has been SO good about it.

I check her garden every day for dog mess but I just can't stop them going in and I feel like we have have the benefit of the garden this whole time and she's never once complained

So the least we can do is cover the cost of the fence (DH and I are going to install it ourselves so it's not including labour)

DH isn't mad. But he thinks I should have told her we ordered it and asked her to pay half.

Like originally discussed.

But she was still holding out hope for this grant, its nearly summer. We're stuck on lockdown and I'd rather just pay and know her kids can play out and my dogs can't get in!

It's a lot of money to us and it would have been nice to only have to pay half but AIBU to say under the circumstances she's been really understanding and as a Thankyou we should just pay?

Op what a lovely thing to do. :) We need more people like you in the world.

You’re doing the right thing. It’s lovely to read a post where someone isn't fighting with their neighbour. You've made things better for both families and thats worth a lot. I hope they start enjoying their garden soon.

If you didn't have dogs I would say to push for half the money, but as you do then you have done the right thing as you could have both lived without a decent fence (if you didn't mind a lack of privacy) but the dogs being there means you have to contain them.

I am surprised she hasn't complained that the dogs went on to her property, as she would have been within her rights to do so and then you would have had to find some way of containing them or have a fine or have them removed. So I think your husband should be thankful she hasn't done this.

I have never known a council or HA to pay for fences between properties so I doubt she will get a grant.

I think you sound like a really nice person and I think you made the right decision. Hopefully you and your neighbour can enjoy the garden worry free in the future.

You're being nice to pay. Dh is being unreasonable

You both sound like good people. In the long term I think you’lol be pleased you did this.

You sound like a lovely neighbour OP and you’re doing the right thing

I think paying in full is fair compensation for not controlling your dogs.

I think you've done the right thing and like someone else said - you sound lovely (as does your neighbour).
I can see your DH's point of view, but I'm on your side. Our fences have been battered by winds on all sides and luckily on either side of us, we have amazing neighbours so we've all taken turns in replacing damaged panels, especially as the neighbours to our right are afraid of dogs and we have two Border Collies - one of whom is a very nutty 9 month old who thinks her legs are springs, so we prioritised that fence and the neighbours to our left who have only just moved in (after we had the worst, nastiest neighbour ever there) are thankfully lovely too and they replaced the fencing on that side, so we all sort of work together - if you have good neighbours, cherish them x

You did the right thing. It's hard when you both need go use the space but its also neither of your responsibility to sort it out.

I think you've definitely done the right thing!
Just a side note, We live in a HA house & we got a grant for fencing through the Occupational Therapist it's a disability facility grant due to our son having additional needs. It did take 12-18 months from start to getting the fence built (the Oc approve the grant and the council have to get several tenders in, then arrange for the works to be done).

@Pumperthepumper for not controlling her dogs? I think most people would struggle to explain to a dog half the garden they are allowed in, the other half ( completely open ) you are not allowed in 🤔🤔
I think you sound like a lovely neighbour OP. Go for it. If her loan does get accepted hopefully she’ll reimburse you as you’ve been so kind.

@Changedname78 you don’t have to explain it to your dog, you just have to put up a barrier so your dogs aren’t going into space they’re not supposed to be in. When they tear the barrier down, put another one up and don’t allow them to be in the garden unsupervised. I’m sure that’s a complete pain in the arse but too bad, that’s the only solution that doesn’t allow the OP’s neighbour to have an unusable garden through no fault of her own. Paying in full is fair compensation.

You sound so lovely OP I wish you were my neighbor!