For feeling depressed

[PumpkinP]

I’m feeling really depressed atm. I am a lone parent to 4 (ex not involved, his choice) my children are all under 10 and the oldest has asd. She’s also on the shielding list. I haven’t spoke to another adult in 2 weeks, my sister fell out with me 2 weeks ago and I’m not even sure why, but I haven’t heard from her in 2 weeks and I refuse to chase her as I didn’t do anything wrong. If I was to die no one would even notice. I’m sad that my ex hasn’t tried to contact me regarding our children but don’t even know why since he hasn’t been in their lives for 3 years so not sure why he would contact now, but just can’t help but feel depressed at how much life has ended up, I have literally got no one. I keep reading threads about people desperate to meet up with friends or family and how hard it is being without them but this is my life 24/7, when lock down is over I will still have no one.

So sorry you feel that way but remember you have 4 children, when this is over they will remember you were thee for them

Also remember this feeling because when the world opens up again think about how you can make a network of supportive people, goimg to toddler groups may be, chatting at the school gates , etc

I’ve tried at the school but no one talks to me and I don’t make friends easily, I’m shy and just haven’t been able to connect with anyone.

We can keep you virtual company. Sorry you are all alone xxx

I just keep thinking there is no point waking up every day. To sit in the house on my own, no partner, no family, no one to talk to, it’s always been bad but lock down has made it worse because atleast I could keep myself busy before. I keep thinking the answer is to meet a new partner to just not be alone even though I don’t want to meet anyone.

I just keep thinking there is no point waking up every day. To sit in the house on my own, no partner, no family

You do have family Pumpkin, your children. They love you and need you. I'm sorry things are tough right now. Are you a sahm? I know your dc are quite young, but they'll grow up and you'll be able to work and spread your wings a bit. Things won't always be like this. Until then, there's always someone to chat to on here

It's not enough. My children resent me . They take it out on me that they don't have a dad, I've ran out of lies to tell the m to explain why they don't have one, he has no family either so they have nothing to do with the other side of them. They don't get on and fight a lot. They have friends at school but nothing outside of it so lockdown isn't that different for them as we don't meet up with anyone outside of school any way. It would happen to be me who has children with someone who wants nothing to do with them. I speak to my dad sometimes but don't like to burden him with my problems . And yes I am a sahm as dd s autism means I can't work as the school were forever selling me to pick her up and she was on a reduce d timetable

I'm sorry you're feeling so down - this lockdown does tend to magnify everything, doesn't it? Try to connect with people locally - there are loads of Facebook Covid groups at the moment. When this is all over, see if there is a hobby group you could join locally - making friends is easier when you have a shared interest to talk about. In the meantime, we'll keep you company

Loneliness is cruel .
You are wonderful, you are the parent who loves and cares for your family .
If you come on here you will get virtual support.
I wonder are you getting all the proper help and support available. Obviously with the current situation things are different.
Is there an online support group that could help with your daughter? Other parents going through similar.? Its just a thought.
Speak to your father as a parent we are tougher than you think .
I wish there was something more I could do .

I can't even go out for a walk just to have something to do because dd is extremely vulnerable and can't be left alon e , my dad is supportive but he is disabled so I feel bad putting my worries on him. I don't kno w, maybe I should contact my ex.

This situation and the lockdown makes everything seem worse than it is. It won't last forever - it will end. Four children under 10 is hard work and more so with no school/friends/activities. Don't beat yourself up - sounds like you're doing well just looking after your children a day at a time. Could you maybe get a video appointment with your GP to chat about the depression and see if they recommend some anti-depressants? Maybe also talk to your dad - he must know anyway that you'd be finding it tough atm with 4 children in lockdown? I second the pp's saying talking to people online is a great idea! Things will get better

Yeh my dad helps as much as he can and always sends money as unfortunately ex doesn't pay any maintenance, don't see him much as he's disabled as I said and doesn't live local, normally without lockdown I keep them busy by taking them out so we are always busy but now every day is like one big day, I hear all my neighbours in the garden and their families and feel jealous , dd won't go out when they are out as she's extremely sound sensitive and won't use the garden when they are there the noise is too much for her and they've been out every day since lock down I'm worried about her being.in for 12 weeks

How are you this morning Pumpkin?

Could your dd sit outside in the garden early morning before the neighbours are out?

And why aren't you getting child maintenance? I really think you should apply for that.

I feel abit better I guess thank you for asking, I just want this to be over, it just magnified everything and hearing how people are so sad they can’t meet with friends/family made me think well when this is over I will still have no one. No ones cares about me or checks if I’m ok. I would really feel better if I could go for a walk to clear my head once a day but can’t even do that. I can’t cope like this for 12 weeks.

Ex legally doesn’t have to pay any maintenance according to the cms. So I can barely afford to get the kids anything nice to keep them busy and occupied during this time and I’m spending so much money on food with them being at home all day (school still hasn’t sorted the fsm vouchers and even if we do get them I can’t go to the supermarket because I can’t bring dd or leave her alone)