Staying in for weeks

[forthrelifeofme]

I've been told to self icolate since February as dp was worried about my asthma. So I haven't left the house since then. I haven't had a letter from my gp about being in high category. And have since spoke with them in regards to picking up a prescription and I was ok to do that. I'm not even allowed to pop out for essentials (milk) I have to wait until he finishes work (he's furloughed stafff but he's the only one in) I know many of us are in this position but I literally just want to go out for milk instead of him.
Sorry if I'm b. U. I'm stressed and have been isolation for ages. I just want out! Sorry

Sorry this sets my internal alarm bells clanging.

Love shouldn't be suffocation.
He doesn't get to decide, you do in tandem with advice from your medical team.

You can go out walking, it’s probably better for your asthma to keep your healthy than it is to allow yourself to become totally unfit.

There's something odd about this that's making me feel uncomfortable to read

I’m asthmatic as is my two year old, I’m also 32 weeks pregnant. I’ve been to the shop on occasion where necessary and take the little one for a walk around the block most days, we just stay the required distance away from anyone else we encounter and wash our hands etc as soon as we get home. It’s really YOUR decision, and as an adult I’m sure you can navigate the risks and take appropriate steps to mitigate them?

My husband is in the vulnerable but not extremely vulnerable category. We decided early on if we needed shopping I would go, thankfully we have managed to get a couple if deliveries so only gone twice. H has gone for a walk a few times but has been unable to sometimes due to mobility problems. I would suggest anyone vulnerable or extremely vulnerable to avoid the shops if at all possible due to the risk. I'm sure a walk would do wonders for your mental health so would that be a compromise.

I agree with pp the shops are an issue, I’ve taken up a new hobby of slot watch and have managed to get c&c. I haven’t visited a supermarket in weeks as I’m asthmatic so being cautious.

But I go out for a walk, run or cycle each day. This morning I went at 730am so I didn’t see anyone. DS was up at 430 so it’s easy for me to get out early doors. Or we go very late and spend the day in the garden.

It’s different for everyone but when I’m fit and healthy my asthma is totally controlled. I’d worry I’d be making myself more vulnerable by not exercising.

OP , it’s absolutely your decision to make whether to go out or not , but whether you’ve ‘ had a letter’ is a complete red herring . I’ve been in for 4 weeks now although I do go in our garden , I’m not shopping , walking the dog etc because although I’ve had no letter I’m on one of the inhalers on the initial high risk list , I have a different chest problem and another disease which puts me in the vulnerable category . I’ve also got a family who are convinced I’m going to die if I get it so I’m humouring them by staying put .

Op what would happen if you went out for milk now? What would he say or do?
Your post makes me feel really uncomfortable about the amount of control he has over you

I'm in the at risk group but not the very high risk group (so no letter and no shielding). DP is doing all the shopping but I'm still going out for exercise! I'd probably give the shops a miss if it doesn't need of be you, but you don't need to be staying in the house all the time by the sounds of your posts OP.

Was it DP who "told" you to self-isolate from the middle of February? I don't like the sound of that. Also your use of the passive tense suggests you had no say in this. "I've been told to".
If a GP told you to, fair enough, but DP? No way.
Yes, he could have discussed this with you and then you could have decided whether it would make sense for you to self-isolate or not.

You are not allowed to pop out for essentials. Who says this? GP or DP. If it's GP, fine. If it's DP he can fuck off. Having to wait for him to come home from work if there is no pressing medical need for you to stay at home, is ridiculous.
Why is he in work if he's been furloughed? The whole thing is weird.

Can you call your GP again and discuss this or do you have an asthma nurse who monitors your treatment?

What would happen if you went out and got milk while DP wasn't at home? What would his reaction be?
The whole thing has an uncomfortable feel to it. What is he normally like? It all sounds very controlling and domineering.

Right now going to a supermarket for milk could be one of the most dangerous things you do. Could you compromise with your DH that you will go for a quiet daily walk and ensure you keep your distance from anyone else as that would be safer than going into a shop for milk. Ultimately, it’s entirely your choice what risk you are happy and willing to take but if this is not typical behaviour from your DH it could be anxiety about the situation is making him try to gain control is certain areas to help ease some of those worries. If he is typically controlling, then I would be assessing staying in the relationship.

I'm on salbutamol and clenil but have had prednisolone 6-8 times this year which apparently puts me at risk.

I’m surprised you got missed off the shielding list with that number of courses of steroids.

If you can find an isolated place to go for a walk then I’d do that. I wouldn’t risk a trip to the shop.

Can you not go out for a walk, does it have to specifically to go to the shops? I hate going to the supermarkets right now and only go when I'm absolutely desperate and I'm a bag of nerves!

He absolutely shouldn't be controlling you but popping out just for milk seems a bit daft for anyone atm. We all need to be better organised and not need to do so much "popping".

Love shouldn't be suffocation.
^ this

Go for a walk. I would be avoiding the shops if I were you but you can go out for a bit of fresh air if you want to. I know nothing about the health implications so if you are genuinely worried get medical advice first BUT Dp isn't the one who decides.

I'd go for a walk!

DS1 and I are asthmatics, so I'm being extra cautious. Neither of us are particularly bad, but I don't want to take the risk so we're not going shopping etc but are going out for a daily walk in a quiet area

Any thread on here by a poster saying she is 'not allowed' to do things by her partner sets off massive warning bells. It's not about how much your husband cares about you. It's about the fact that you are a grown woman, capable of making your own decisions. He may be the boss at work, but he is not your boss.