Did I overreact with my 5 year old? How would you have handled this?

[Icantrememebrtheartist]

Just walked in on my five and three year olds jumping on the back of the sofa with their shoes on. I was out of the room for about two minutes.

I went mad and shouted at both of them.

They had shoes on because they’d just come in from the garden, they’re not allowed shoes on in the house and I’ve told them off before for jumping on the sofa, this time they were jumping on the back.

I’ve gone absolutely mad at both of them. I shouted how dare they jump on the back of the sofa, how dare they do that with their shoes on.

My three year old cried and said sorry she won’t do it again.

My five year old just looked at me, smirked and whispered something to her sister. So I shouted at her again that they’re not allowed to jump on the back of the sofa, certainly not with shoes on, daddy goes to work to buy things in our house and don’t be so disrespectful to our home. Five year old basically looked through me. So I shouted all of the above at her again.

We were just about to go on our daily walk so I’ve now said we’re not going but I think it’s the worst thing I could’ve said because she probably needs to get out.

Any tips? I hate shouting and have never been a shouter but five year old looks through me and shrugs or smirks when I tell her off, time out doesn’t work, nothing seems to work :(

I would have shouted for the sofa jumping then the smirk would have tipped me over the edge and I would have probably screamed DON'T SMIRK AT ME which let's face it is completely wasted on a 5yo I'm not good at thinking logically when I'm wound up!

Maybe a bit but I'm not holding it together brilliantly all the time either and I've only got one 5 year old not a 3 year as well. Tomorrow's a new day.

Wow - really admire everyone who says they could be calm in the face of two sets of dirty shoes jumping on the sofa! I would have told off, probably shouted and given a consequence at that age too. I would really want them to know that they have respect for property and should not damage things.

Don’t beat yourself up OP - it’s really tough at the moment, what’s done is done and tomorrow is another day.

This situation pushed me over the edge today too op! We'd already had a visit from crayon Banksy in 2 bedrooms, jumping on the sofa then smirking was the final straw, no more Easter egg!!!!

@trilbydoll me too! My adhd 5yo is a master at this. He knows exactly how to wind me up. I've learned to keep calm and not react now but when he started... the bloody cheek of it

You didn't overreact OP. They were ruining your sofa. It's really frustrating when the 'good punishments' people suggest eg time out don't work - you feel helpless and there's literally nothing you can do but shout to get it out of your system because they don't care anyway. As long as this isn't a regular occurrence don't beat yourself up. She either forgets about it and doesn't care or she remembers and doesn't do it again. Tomorrow is another (difficult) day for everyone!