To be debating speaking to my GP?

[CrazyPuddin]

Even though the NHS is struggling massively right now?

Back story is I suffer from depression and anxiety and have done since being a young teen.

Spent most of my life on antidepressants, slowly upping the dose until I felt able to tackle life. This then gets to a stage where they no longer feel effective and I then end up on a different antidepressant.

6 months ago I got to a place where I felt able to cope without medication. With the help of my GP I cut down my dose and have been medication free now for around 4 months.

Lockdown has caused my anxiety and depression to worsen. I'm spending most of my time alone and my own mind is my worst enermy.

I'm starting to feel paranoid that colleagues dislike me now that I am working from home. When my children are with me I'm getting easily irritated. I'm feeling low. Not wanting to do anything and even getting a shower feels a real effort.

But even if I can speak toy GP over the phone and he gives starts me on antidepressants again it will make me feel much worse before it helps me.

And in that time I'm stuck at home alone.

I self harmed as a teenager and haven't since, but that's always a worry if things worsen.

I guess I'm feeling lost and lonely. Money worries, worries about work. The normal worries that most of the world have right now. But no family or friends to talk to for support or distraction.

I'm sorry for posting this is AIBU. I've posted here for traffic. Please be kind.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. You will likely have a telephone appointment with GP though at the moment. Depending upon where you are you may be able to access some talking therapies remotely with a referral. Also, are you going outside for your daily exercise?

You sound exactly like me, down to some very small details.

The GP may only be able to offer you medication at this time, it might be worth calling to see if your area offers talking therapies by telephone however.

Have you tried any of the support apps available?
www.nhs.uk/apps-library/category/mental-health/

Yes, please do ask for an appointment. If they are too stretched to give you one then they will tell you so. All the advice has been to ask for help with normal health issues and not just assume that only Covid can be currently treated.

Surely it’s better to treat a treatable illness before it gets worse? They may be able to recommend some online therapy or counselling too.

Best wishes.

Our GPs sent everyone a text saying please still contact us if you need us. We want to help everyone. I had a video consultation with mine and she was really helpful.

Contact your GP when you can and look after yourself.

I just worry starting medication again will mean in the short term things are so much more difficult.
When the kids are here we go for our daily walk, but when it's just me I stay in.

Have tried a few apps but can't say I feel they have helped.

It's costing me more on food, electric and gas etc with the kids being off school and being stuck in. So that's a worry.
Plus the things that would help all cost money so I'm pretty bored when the kids are at their dads.
Things like buying a chair to sit in the yard, paint to maybe do skirting boards or something to fill my time. I've downloaded free games on the PlayStation but I'm losing interest after about 5 minutes.

I'm going to do a little baking today using the last of the flour. I'll then probably eat too many of them.

But my mind is my worst enermy and having so much thinking time is what is making it all worse I think.

Working from home is good as I would hate to not have work right now, but I'm barely speaking to anyone in days.

Facebook is just full of people sharing happy pictures and of all the money they've spent on garden furniture and activities to do etc.

I just feel lost. Lonely and lost. And like no one even notices my existence anymore.

Maybe back of Facebook a bit? People are only sharing the 'good' bits - not the stuff about rowing with their other half, the kids getting on their nerves, missing people etc. It should be renamed False Book.

Can you treat yourself to small wins - a nice bath, your favourite music, some treat food? Something to make you feel good about yourself?