To be offended by this statement?

[lifesbetteraftertea]

"At least you can take this time to be with the children and let them enjoy mummy being home" (works closed for the duration) this is from mil who is constantly making jibes about my working, I'm part time, not that it makes a difference, I am happy with how much time I spend with my kids, deep down and I know I'm making the right choices for my family, yet why am I constantly left feeling so utterly offended by her remarks?

From your first post I’d say you were oversensitive BUT you then go on to say she’s constantly making jibes about you working so I think it is probably a dig and can understand your annoyance!

Ignore her and her archaic views. Or when she says these things, cock your head, give HER a condescending smile and walk away.

You do what you want to do and what is right for your family. People who are belligerent in their version of what’s ‘right’ cannot be reasoned with.

I used to get this bullshit from my sister. How she sacrificed for her children...

Fact is she had zero desire to work, and her husband earned a very good living.

The constant guilt tripping me was her way of justifying her own choices.

OP, I would keep replying that your husband "is so delighted the children will grow up with a working mum as a role model"...on a loop..

If it wasn't for the fact that you know its a dig at you, it's a normal pat response one might spout out in reaction to the situation.

@onedayiwillmissthis - I'm really enjoying this time of not having to stress about work deadlines, always being able to say yes when one of my los suggests playing something, no uniforms to iron or lunches to prep etc despite the horrible anxiety over this whole pandemic lurking in my mind like us all and I'm sure it's for those reasons you said to your daughter what you did. But in the case of my mil, she constantly mentions my having a job at all, as if it's neglect. Of course not that it matters my DH works full time to her..... archaic and belligerent have been used on this thread and they're spot on. To the pp who mentioned the phrase about DH being so glad they've got a working mum as a role model, thank you for this, I shall try that next time!

I have a MIL like this; actually, both she and SIL make comments that indicate to me and DH that they think we have our gender roles wrong.

DH is far more domestic than I am, we both work but I have the harder and more lucrative job with more responsibilities, he does most of the nights with DS, etc. It works for us and we are happy.

It sounds to me like the difference is that DH and I know our life works for us, we know they are both old-fashioned (and ironically, neither are happy with "their lot in life"), so when they make passive aggressive statements, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I save my energy to challenge them on the other racist, sexist, homophobic shite the spout and ignore what they think of me/us/our life. It's all about them, really.

What would you need in order to do the same?