Scared I’m a rubbish mum already

[CandleFlames]

I had my DS three days ago by csection and he was on antibiotics so we were in the hospital until today. He’s withdrawing from some medication I was on during the pregnancy so is a little bit shaky but otherwise okay and was okay to go home. The first couple of days were easy he was very quiet and feeding every three hours. I decided to formula feed as he wouldn’t latch. But since last night it’s been hard, he won’t stop crying or cluster feeding and I just sat there crying in the hospital last night which made things harder being all alone. We’re home now and I feel I can’t do anything right, even putting on his baby grows I find difficult and I find it hard to wind him. He’s my first and all my antenatal classes got cancelled and obviously my family can’t be around for support. I just feel like a bad mum I’ve been crying all day long, he won’t go in his crib he won’t stop feeding he just won’t settle unless it’s on me after his feed: just need a hand hold and to be told it’s okay

OP be kind to yourself. He is just born and he also is finding everything new! Some babies are just fussy and miserable for a while. My first was a chilled out dream. My second was stressed, found it very hard to feed, screamed if anyone else held her (including her dad, who is great with babies). So, you see, IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I WASN'T DOING IT WRONG as I was lucky enough to have had a chilled out baby first, so it couldn't have been my fault for doing it wrong.

So try to realise your little one is fussy and stressed, because some babies just are. Try to take care of yourself and remember, you are doing a really tough thing. At a very tough time. Oh, and classes are all well and good but I was experienced and confident, and no.2 was still a stressed out little screech bundle. She is now 19 and has been ridiculously laid back, confident and easy for the last 18 years and 9 months!!!!! Babies are tough. It's not you xxxxxxx

OP, you are doing wonderfully. You have given birth in a worrying time where the usual support and reassurance is much restricted. Being a new mum is terrifying as it is wonderful, here is this tiny little person that needs you to do everything for them and work out what they can’t say. It’s a huge life change and takes a while to adjust. Your baby is learning how to be a little person and you are learning how to be a mum. It doesn’t happen overnight. Even though you carried your baby for 9 months, you have only just met and it will take time to get to know each other. You are doing your best and your baby is doing their best and that’s all that’s needed.

Please keep in mind that babies cry. That’s what they do. They cry when there is something wrong, they cry when there isn’t. Newborns have this whole new world to get to grips with, new sounds, sights, smells, temperatures etc. I would probably cry a lot too! It’s not you, you are not why your baby is crying. You are literally the only safety your new little person knows.

I have five children but there is a ten year age gap between my 9 month old baby and his big brother. I thought I was a pro at all this baby stuff. Then my DS5 arrived and quickly showed me that I was wrong! I might have had four babies before him but none of them were him! They are all unique and it’s all about getting lots of cuddles, lots of just being together to get to know each other. You will get to know what your baby needs over time and will become much more confident.

I second holding him upright. My DS was huge I'm small I had to stand to keep upright it definitely worked. My Dsis advised me to rub the top of his head in a circular motion while he was upright, it would make up stretch out and burp.
Goodluck this is the hard part, the final phase of pregnancy and birth, it is like coming out of a war. It passes