Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so angry!

40 replies

Lincolnfield · 12/04/2020 19:29

My husband is in his seventies so every lunchtime we set off with our three dogs to walk across the fields - we’re lucky that woods and fields are literally across the road. We come out on a main road up the hill from where we live and then walk along, turn right down another road and then right again to get home - so basically a big circle walk which takes us just about an hour. It’s our only exercise for the day and we go at that time because normally our dogs are used to a couple of big walks every day or being out on the moors - which clearly we can’t do just now. We can’t go any earlier because my husband has a bowel problem. He had a resection for Crohns a few years ago which means he needs a couple of hours minimum before he can go out. We avoid people as much as possible, crossing the road to keep away and we are finding most people round here are brilliant and doing the same. We all zig zag across the tracks and roads to keep the distance.

About half way down the hill on our way home, it seems there’s an old person, not sure if it’s man or woman, who sits outside their house in a deckchair and their family is now visiting them every day. Usually between three to five people clustered on the footpath, laughing and joking and shouting across to the old person.

It’s right on the brow of the hill so we have to drag our dogs, one is 15 years old and he is very slow, across the road to get round them. Yesterday, my husband couldn’t cross quickly enough because a car was coming up the hill so he had to walk in the middle of the road and the car driver had to go round him.

Today, this family were there again and they’d parked two cars literally on the footpath as well and the whole group of them were there, as usual, laughing and joking and shouting over the wall to their relative. So, yet again we had to drag the dogs across the road where it’s blind to traffic coming up the hill. I was so angry I just called across the road to them and said, ‘Do you realise you’re completely blocking the footpath?’’

The largest, loudest woman shouted, ‘yeah we know it’s for social distancing’.

I said, ‘but you’re here every day and forcing us to cross the road.’

She then charged across the road, came about three feet - not two metres! up to my husband and started going on about she has to come every day and something about her father(so I’m guessing the old person is a man- it’s impossible to tell). My husband is deaf so he doesn’t really know what she was saying and I was too far away to hear with cars going past.

We were so upset when we got home. We’re going to take a longer route along the main road tomorrow to avoid coming down the hill - which is the most direct way home - and it means our old dog will need to walk a bit further than is really fair for him and I’m so bloody angry! We’ve lived here for forty years and walk up and down that hill virtually every day. I’ve never seen these people until the last three or four days and I’m really not sure they should be turning up en masse like this.

I’m praying for rain to be honest because I can’t see them having a family gathering on the footpath if it’s pissing it down!

OP posts:
ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 12/04/2020 20:59

I can't get over taking an elderly dog who is on his last legs out for an hour long walk during the hottest part of the day. It was over 20 degrees here this weekend. You could take him out earlier or later in the day and avoid these people all together. I'm sure the dog would appreciate not being taken out when it's hot.

Yes those people been a bit inconsiderate but it's not worth getting that upset over. Perhaps if you'd spoken to her in a reasonable manner the woman wouldn't have acted the way she did. Living somewhere for 40 years doesn't mean you can call the shots on what people do in public spaces near where you live.

BusyProcrastinator · 12/04/2020 21:01

yanbu for them blocking up the path.
yabu for getting angry with them. You don't know their circumstances and it seems they think they have a good reason and are trying to follow the rules.

However, everyone is cranky at the moment. Keep to your normal route but if they're there tomorrow, apologise for yelling and say that you're struggling to use the path and cross the road, and ask if there's a way they could accommodate you (ie put cars and themselves somewhere more suitable). Hopefully they're not entirely unreasonable people.

PlanDeRaccordement · 12/04/2020 21:02

I feel this is an overreaction too.
You’ve said it’s 3-5 people stood on the footpath and talking to an elderly person while maintaining social distancing. They’ve only just started this, so presumably it could be just for the Easter weekend to check in and ensure said elderly relative is coping ok.
The fact you’ve lived there forty years doesn’t give you rights over any public footpaths or to expect that there be no other users when you take your walk.
In most places, people have had to go around each other on narrow footpaths as a matter of course. Most people I would hazard to say have to go around several other path users every time they go out. I don’t think the walk is even noticeably longer because it’s not that far out of your way to go around 3-5 people and the rejoin the path. It’s what, ten extra steps?
I think you started the confrontation and so got a bit of what you were giving.

Lincolnfield · 12/04/2020 21:02

@HavenDilemmaits certainly worth looking into. He’s a golden retriever and a big lad as well although he’s lost a lot of his muscle tone these days. We got him a ramp to try and help him in and out of our cars but thr obstinate old devil actually made it worse by trying to jump across the ramp so now, he put his puts his front feet up on the bumper and waits patiently while we lift his bum in! That’s one bonus of lockdown- he’s not going in the car just now!

Anyone who has goldies will know they are possibly the most obstinate and determined dogs on the planet. Our flat coated retrievers are much more biddable. Jimmy is adorable and has bern an amazing working dog for many years and, touch wood, never known a day’s illness in his long life but sadly the years are catching up with him and, tbh, it’s breaking my heart. I’ll look into a buggy for him though because with a bit of fish jerky to tempt him in it might work.

Thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate it. 🙂

OP posts:
Lincolnfield · 12/04/2020 21:12

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal it wasn’t as hot as that here! I’m not stupid for goodness sake. There are trees everywhere which keep the tracks and paths well shaded and we have had a breeze blowing most of the day. If it had been that hot, then none of the dogs would have been out other than for toilet trips.

@PlanDeRaccordement ive never said we have rights over footpaths. I pointed out how long we’ve lived here because over the years we’ve noticed lots of people’s relative’s visiting and we know a lot of them but until last Thurs - which was not a holiday btw - we’ve never seen these people before.

We deviate all the time, crossing roads, moving up grass banks etc, and are perfectly happy to do so. Everyone elese in this small community is doing the same and we usually all smile and just call out a ‘thank you’ to each other. I reiterate that this group show no intention of moving in any way which is why, after four days of them blocking the path I was just fed up. So kill me.

OP posts:
HavenDilemma · 12/04/2020 21:15

Awwwww bless him! Little soul.

You're welcome, I really hope it works for him Flowers

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 12/04/2020 21:16

So why not talk to them like a reasonable human being? How are they supposed to know they're inconveniencing you if you don't tell them before you started shouting?

Jessikka · 12/04/2020 21:21

Could you walk half way along your usual route and then return the same way? Still the same distance but away from these people and dog won't need to be walked extra? Sorry if this has been suggested- not read the whole thread.

Lincolnfield · 12/04/2020 21:22

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal I didn’t yell at them! I had to raise my voice given passing cars and being across the road and I only said ‘Do you realise you’re blocking the footpath?’ I didn’t say it nastily or aggressively and that is literally all I said. A reasonable person might have said, ‘sorry we didn’t realise’ not charge across the road and march up to my husband in the way she did.

OP posts:
Fosler · 12/04/2020 21:25

I'm honestly very sceptical about this whole business. I'm questioning this 'let's save the nhs' slant! If this is so bad why not, 'save your life, save the lives of your loved ones and stay indoors'? No. I don't accept this. Too many conflicting opinions. However, we must abide by government guidelines. Because whatever is going on, the powers that be are intent that we behave. I guess we have to assume that it is for our own good but,,, question everything. Seriously, question everything and trust no one.

shamelesschocaholic · 12/04/2020 21:45

MereDinto I’m sorry to hear that, all the best. It is very difficult for everyone at the moment, hopefully it will be over sooner rather than later x

Lincolnfield · 12/04/2020 21:51

@Jessikka - the obvious solution is always the best! Thanks for this suggestion. I think I’d got into such a state, worrying about my husband when this woman was in his face, worrying about my old dog that the simple idea never entered my head.

Of course we can do that! Thank you. Feeling very stupid now! 😘

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 12/04/2020 21:57

Don't just go another route. Report them and include the fact that the woman came into your husbands space. They are out of order.

OlaEliza · 12/04/2020 21:57

Don't just go another route. Report them and include the fact that the woman came into your husbands space. They are out of order.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 13/04/2020 15:20

how about walking the same route in reverse - they may not be there if you hit that spot at a different time. (but might mean steep bits are uphill rather than downhill).
The suggestion above to walk the route half way and turn back was also a good one.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread