My friend water damaged my laptop

[ston]

Last year while in my last year of university I had my laptop in the kitchen to do some work (everyone in my house regularly did this) when my friend accidentally spilt a whole pint of water on it.

I did not have insurance. The cost at Apple was around £400 to repair.

At the time I was sure that my friend should pay most of the cost for the broken laptop and I pay a bit also. Thinking back was this the wrong stance? I was a broke student with no money and my dad had just been made redundant so could not help me. My friend however had disposable income.

I’m now just thinking was I in the wrong - my friend basically ended our friendship over this situation.

I think regardless of whether everyone else did it, using a laptop on a kitchen surface is quite reckless and you should have taken some responsibility for that. It’s a kitchen surface so there will be liquids around.

As a student I couldn't have afforded £400 to fix a laptop if I accidentally spilt water on it. I would have probably offered to pay half though would have been annoyed to have been put in a situation where it could have happened.

If you have expensive items you ensure, as far as possible, that there is limited risk of them being damaged by anyone or anything. It was risky imo to have it in the kitchen.

Ah yes, university house shares do being people's personalities out.

She should have paid.

You weren't wise to have a laptop in a communal area kitchen, nor to have or allow a drink anywhere near it. We learn these things at our expenses at uni (my flatmate had a laptop nicked by somebody walking in through two doors she had briefly left propped open). You weren't wise to have it uninsured. I would have accepted 50%.

Money issues does cause loss of friendships. Everybody feels screwed over at paying for something like that - your flatmate didn't get any benefit at all to her £300 or whatever she paid, and it's hard not to feel resentful of that even if it's entirely justice and ethical, and you had hassle, unpleasantness and time wasted as well as some expense to get it fixed when you weren't responsible for the breakage. Nobody wins.

Was it at the kitchen table or on the worktop?

Half and half seems fairest tbh. You took the risk of having a laptop there. She spilled water on it.

Just because other people used their laptop in the kitchen too, it doesn’t mean that if there was an accident that they would expect others to pay for it completely.

You say you thought you’ve have this friend for life. I wouldn’t want a friend who didn’t take responsibility for their own actions and expected me to pay in full for something just because they deemed I had more disposable income.

Your friend was obviously a decent person as she paid for your laptop. There are lots of different opinions as you said in your update, most however say 50/50 or that you held some responsibility. Based on your update, you take no responsibility for the accident as you just say that everyone else did it so it’s okay.

I do take some responsibility... hence my post. I’m just saying I did not think not to put my laptop on the kitchen table.

I think it's crazy to have an item worth £££'s and not have it insured.

If you then choose to bring that very expensive item into a shared area with lots of hazards like all kitchens have, then I believe you do so at your own risk tbh.

Exactly how did the water get spilled on it?

Sorry but it's a bit unclear, how much did your friend pay?

Why is it playing on your mind now?

She was opposite me on the kitchen table and had a drink she was holding

@Frownette

In the end the university paid. I was able to get a bursary because of my financial situation. So neither of us paid a penny.

It is still playing on my mind as we do not talk now / how she acted afterwards.

It was an accident. A drink being spilled on a kitchen table is something you could foresee, and you should have had it insured.
If I was the friend I would have offered a token amount maybe, certainly wouldn’t have paid for a new one!
You could have replaced it with a second hand one.

Accidents happen in a kitchen environment fairly regularly, I don't think it is fair she had it cough up £££s because you chose to take that risk.

So how did the conversation go after the accident? Did she offer to pay? Did you says she would have to pay?

If I was using my laptop on a table and somebody puts a drink there then I move my laptop, even when I put my drink on the table. That's what you should have done.

You chose to take your uninsured laptop into a communal space where people were eating and drinking. Unless your friend was acting in a malicious or negligent way like throwing water around, I would also have been miffed to be “expected” to pay for it.

@CtrlU might want to make sure you try harder before attacking people’s IQ

The damage to the friendship also depends on how the situation was handled and how you spoke to your friend about it.

There are so many adverts and schemes directed at students to ensure their tech is insured whilst away at uni. I think you WBU in not having your things insured and kept in safe places. If you can’t afford to fix or replace an expensive laptop then you should have been taking better care of it.

She may have been careless and accidentally spilled water in the kitchen, but no one would expect to have to pay a huge sum of money as a result of spilling water in a kitchen.

My DH props his iPad up on the windowsill above the kitchen sink so he can watch videos whilst he cleans...and then leaves it there. I’ve told him many times that if I accidentally knock it into the sink it’s his fault. I certainly wouldn’t expect that our insurance would cover it either.

There are a lot of differing stances on this which are nothing to do with IQ. It is quite an interesting moral question, I think.

However I think I would find myself feeling considerably less friendly towards someone who expected me to pay the lion's share of repairs for an accident that was so costly due to their choices, even if I was the one who spilled the water. Especially if this was in part due to them thinking I had more money to spare, rather than it being strictly more my fault.

You chose such an expensive laptop, and chose not to fully insure it, knowing how much Apple charge for repairs. You also chose to take it into the communal kitchen. 'Everyone else was doing it' doesn't change this fact. Your friend spilled a glass of water in the kitchen. This is not really a preventable accident, it happens all the time. An expensive, uninsured item being there was preventable.

I'm sure if you had been asking her for half of the insurance premium, say £100 or so, it would have left a much less bitter taste for her.

You live and learn and neither were out of pocket in the end but I can very much see her point of view too.

It sounds like this person did pay towards things but then perhaps felt a bit put out by it and let the relationship fizzle out. That’s her right, just as much as it was your right to ask for the money. These things happen, it’s just how life is. People will often go cold on you for reasons that aren’t your fault.. you’ll learn this if you ever lend people money and dare to ask for it back one day.

You shouldn’t have expend things unless you are willing to pay to replace them should they get lost/damaged. But likewise if you damage someone else’s item you should offer to repair it if you can afford to.

50/50

I think taking it anywhere where other people can spill things is foolish. It's not an unforeseeable accident.

Split half and half. She had an accident, you left it out carelessly and you didn't have insurance. You're the one affected by it. So half and half.

@ston Taking responsibility doesn’t mean posting on Mumsnet a year later, it means at the time not expecting a friend to fork out £400 for something that you contributed towards happening. In the end, you said you got a bursery and nobody paid for it.

However, you had requested she pay for it so it left a sour taste in her mouth. As a result, she as well within her rights to decline invitations and hang out with you. It doesn’t sound like she was openly horrible, she just didn’t want to be friends with you anymore. She thought you were taking the piss, you don’t think you were. Move on and learn from it.