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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not make him feel better.

8 replies

HelloTerrance · 11/04/2020 19:55

My BF has been on lock down at mine. We don't live together usually.

Tomorrow is my birthday and we were going to have a takeaway and a few gins and celebrate. I have been dieting so this will be the first take away in so long.

So today he went to pick up some clothes from his and he was dropping off a power tool that he had borrowed from a friend.

He sent me a picture of the dinner his friend had made for him, so instead of dropping the tool at the door and leaving he went inside and ate.

The problem with this is his friends GF is a nurse working with CV19 patients.

So of course I have said he isn't to come back here, instead he will have to go home and finish lock down there. I have 3 children, one with a medical condition so it's too risky for me.

He accepts my reasoning but keeps texting he is sorry and he feels bad for ruining my birthday.

He wants me to minimise it and say oh don't worry we will celebrate after lock down. Make him feel better.

AIBU to not do this.

He has form for ruining plans. He doesn't do it maliciously, he is generally just thoughtless.

I am cross and don't feel like making him feel better.

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 11/04/2020 20:02

Another post with an NHS nurse doing something utterly fucking stupid. Either there are a LOT of troll posts or many NHS staff are worryingly stupid or blasé

No don't make him feel better. He made a very stupid choice. If he needs anything from your house, put it in a bag outside & don't open the door.

Ignore until he apologises properly & sincerely.

HelloTerrance · 11/04/2020 20:06

I was surprised about nurse friend letting him in to be honest. I suppose because he had been isolating it seemed OK? I honestly don't know and can't guess beyond that.

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 11/04/2020 20:32

It's true that even some nurses seem to be getting things really wrong about isolation. I passed my very elderly neighbour over the road and he shouted across that he was just off to a barbecue at X's house. X being a local ITU nurse.

slashlover · 11/04/2020 20:33

Was the nurse actually there? OP says he went to see his friend and his GF is a nurse.

CanofCant · 11/04/2020 20:38

He has form for ruining plans. He doesn't do it maliciously, he is generally just thoughtless.

Honestly, he sounds let a waste of your time. It doesn't matter that he might be kind but thoughtless, it's just as bad as being malicious as the result is the same. It would annoy and upset me that I am not important enough for him to remember instead of him being carried away in the moment. I couldn't be arsed with it.

CanofCant · 11/04/2020 20:39
  • like a waste of your time and no, don't make him feel better.
HelloTerrance · 11/04/2020 20:43

I'm moot sure if the nurse was there. I saw on Facebook that she is off for the next 3 days but I don't know if she was home or not.

Either way he has been in their home and the virus lives on surfaces for days. She is in direct contact with covid patients. It might be a small risk but it is a risk all the same. If it were just me I would maybe chance it but I have the kids to think of.

We have argued about his lack of consideration many times, it's one of the reasons we don't live together and have no plans to.

OP posts:
Daftodil · 11/04/2020 20:51

He's ruined your birthday and didn't think about you or your children in his decisions. YANBU. I'd be very upset and pretty furious too.

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