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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the world is safer when men stay indoors?

64 replies

Trexical · 11/04/2020 14:04

Now this assertion has to be balanced against the appalling increases we've seen in domestic violence since lock down but this article in the Guardian is shocking and offers an insight into what the world might look like if men ( and yes I make no apology as I know it's not all men) were forced to stay inside.

Startling excerpts include rapes down from 600 to 100 per day in South Africa and murder rates down in the usa by over 40,%.

Yabu- this is misandrist flawed logic
Yanbu- the world is safer when men are in lockdown

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/11/crime-falls-sharply-in-even-the-most-violent-us-cities

OP posts:
0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 11/04/2020 16:06

Queens

Don't you think the advice was given to women because the alternative was patently pointless and clearly wouldn't make women any safer?

Original poster
Trexical · 11/04/2020 16:14

user1635896324685367 your post has brought tears to my eyes..I know platitudes make no difference but I am so sorry for what you've suffered and your continued life sentence ..I only hope that you avail of all resources available to you and find a comfortable space to exist without pain ..sending a huge virtual hug Flowers

OP posts:
clareOclareO · 11/04/2020 16:19

Well, if women stayed at home and the men went outside, that would be safer too, wouldn't it?

I do worry about topics like these. If it were "the streets are safer without BAME/disabled/Muslim/Swedish people on them" it would be just down immediately.

Why do we tolerate sexist opinions?

JovialNickname · 11/04/2020 16:19

A little publicized fact is that according to the official stats, 71% of covid deaths are men. So this virus affects men disproportionately - I wonder how many women know that they are at far less risk of death from CV19 than men are. Admittedly the death rate from Covid is calculated from hospital stats only so it could be that more women are dying in care homes etc or not being admitted to hospital so not being officially counted but the figures are still quite illuminating. So, to be inflammatory ;) the staying at home sacrifice we are all making is far more for male benefit than it is for women.

user127819 · 11/04/2020 16:26

I've felt more unsafe when out in broad daylight than I did before the lockdown (I live a town with a reputation for crime and unsafety). The drunkards who follow women down the street and other unsavouries are still about, but there are fewer people overall around to make you feel safe.

Notthemessiah · 11/04/2020 16:29

We all know already that men commit the vast majority of violent\sexual crime so what exactly is the point of this post?

Original poster
Trexical · 11/04/2020 16:32

clareOclareO just because facts make you uncomfortable is not grounds to shut down discussion but feel free to put your fingers in your ears
oh and as most victims of male violence are indeed men, having them outside and women inside would do nothing to reduce the crime stats apart from male to female sexual related crimes

OP posts:
Lovebb · 11/04/2020 16:33

This thread is typical Mumsnet

Ethelfleda · 11/04/2020 16:34

I have nothing to add at this point but I am interested to see where this discussion goes...

Ponoka7 · 11/04/2020 16:35

@clareOclareO
"Well, if women stayed at home and the men went outside, that would be safer too, wouldn't it?"

Yes but one is the victim and the other the perpetrator. If we locked the children up and not the pedophiles, we'd have no sexual offences against children being committed.

I'm in my 50's. Considering the excuses made for men when I was growing up, i did wonder why we considered them safe enough to wander around, let alone be in charge of anything.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/04/2020 16:37

Why do we tolerate sexist opinions?

It’s a fact that the vast majority of violent and sexual crimes are perpetrated by men.

It’s an interesting consideration as to how normal life for many women would be if men were on lockdown and women weren’t!

forgetthehousework · 11/04/2020 16:51

I don't know, do you think it would be safer when the dustbins aren't collected, power stations fail to operate, water mains aren't repaired ... because like it or not this is the world we live in and I won't demonize one complete gender because of the crimes of some of them. There are many jobs which have an (unfair) disproportionate number of women/men in them. There are some terrible people in the world. Male and female.
I now expect to get ripped to shreds.
.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/04/2020 16:52

I don't know, do you think it would be safer when the dustbins aren't collected, power stations fail to operate, water mains aren't repaired

Why wouldn’t those things be done? All those things are still being done in lockdown.

Notthemessiah · 11/04/2020 17:09

It’s an interesting consideration as to how normal life for many women would be if men were on lockdown and women weren’t!

Might as well fantasise about what life would be like if we all had two heads in that case.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/04/2020 17:10

Might as well fantasise about what life would be like if we all had two heads in that case

That comment rather says it all. That considering what it would be like without the plethora of atrocious behaviours women have to suffer on a daily basis from men is akin to a fantasy.

Plus ca change.

forgetthehousework · 11/04/2020 17:14

MarieQueen, the men who do these jobs would not be going out ...

PicsInRed · 11/04/2020 17:17

YANBU.

If it is reasonable tell all people to stay home in order to save older men (tanking the economy in the mix), presumably a curfew (and social distancing) will be imposed on men when this is all over in order to protect women from rape, harassment and murder? Previous domestic abusers could be required to live alone. No? Thought not. Course not. Hmm

Yep, just like the Sutcliffe serial rapist case, where the police attempted to put a curfew on women and it didn't even occur to them to curfew men...and when that was raised as an option the entire curfew idea was shelved. Funny that.

Women stay home to protect women, women stay home to protect men. Men never stay home to protect women.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/04/2020 17:18

the men who do these jobs would not be going out

During lockdown men are still going out to do jobs and yet look at the fall in violent crime.

PicsInRed · 11/04/2020 17:20

This thread is typical Mumsnet

Women talking to each other, eh? What next.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 11/04/2020 17:22

It’s like when the Yorkshire Ripper was at his peak and the police told women to stay in after dark. No mention of the concept of telling males not to go out instead.

I have no trouble in agreeing that men are largely responsible for abuse and violence in society. But ..... I don't understand your logic here. Men were not at threat from the Yorkshire Ripper: he preyed exclusively on women. Telling men to stay indoors would only have worked, had the Ripper heeded that advice. If he were open to listening to the police, then they wouldn't have needed to ask men to stay indoors, they could have just told him to stop killing women: problem solved. In that situation, the only good advice was for women to stay in at night. I was a teenager in his neck of the woods at the time: I certainly listened.

roarfeckingroar · 11/04/2020 17:22

YANBU

Balhammom · 11/04/2020 17:26

Interesting that most of the idiots sunbathing in the park near me today are women. Not entirely sure they’re making the world safer right now...

Original poster
Trexical · 11/04/2020 17:26

Lovebb I'm not sure what typical mumsnet means?
I would post this on any forum any where and have raised similar issues in the guardian and other papers brave enough to look at some of the wider implications of this virus - please don't assume to know anything about me and if typical mumsnet is meant as a slur for caring about victims of violence I'll wear that title with pride

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 11/04/2020 17:31

Sadly you can't control how certain people behave, you can only control your reaction to it. Yes women should be able to walk around at any time night or day in complete safety but unfortunately they can't. So they need to protect themselves. And I know plenty of people will say we need to educate men to behave better but is that actually possible. How much is nature, how much is nurture.

Maybe if all the men were in lockdown the reality would be the streets are less safe as the decent ones will be at home and the scrotes will be out with nobody else around to prevent them committing whatever vile crime they wish, be that prevention be by deliberate intervention or just walking past.

PicsInRed · 11/04/2020 17:34

Telling men to stay indoors would only have worked, had the Ripper heeded that advice.

The coronavirus won't stay home, and primarily affects men aged 40s and over. Yet we won't ask them to stay home and let the women and children get on with it. That's just the point.

There was no "exit strategy" to Peter Sutcliffe if he didnt continue to rape, as evidence needed to be gathered, yet women were told to stay home, not men. Now still, with no exit strategy, women are to stay home, to protect men.

It never, ever works the other way around.