Sexting

[caradelvigna]

My close friend is upset. A guy she's been seeing for around a 2 months has asked her for a photo of her in her underwear to 'cheer him up' through lockdown. She now thinks he's a sleeze. I'm not sure what to say. She really likes him but now wants to end it because of this. Thoughts? I've been seeing someone for 5 months. Not sure how I would react to this if it was me!

If she's not comfortable she shouldn't do it. She's not known him long. Once she's taken the photos and sent them she has Zero control of who sees them.

Well, those are my thoughts exactly...

It's not an unusual request especially at the moment but only if you are comfortable ... wouldn't bother me but I don't think he would ask, I managed to be at his on lockdown so stayed put!

Big granny pants pics needed...
Dh once asked for a pic of me in the bath in the early days.
Sent one of the taps.
He never asked again..

Definitely would not do it.

As a pp said, where would these pictures go? To his mates probably.

She's only been seeing him for a few weeks. I wouldn't do it.

Well it's entirely up to her isn't it? Some people really enjoy sexting, some don't.

I do it quite a lot tbh. I enjoy it. But, I never have my face and body in the same photo.

I am way too paranoid to send photos of my body to anyone 😅 also, my body isn't great so wouldn't even cross my mind to.

If she doesn’t want to she doesn’t have to. Lots of women are happy sending them so I am not sure if a man who asks these days is a sleaze. My boyfriend asked, I said no he knew not to ask again!

I’d like to clarify - obviously lots of blokes who ask for photos are sleazes but if that’s the only red flag than I just think dating norms have changed and to some people this is fairly normal - although i wouldn’t send a picture myself.

Have they had sex? If so, I think it’s an ok request but also fine to decline.

BF and I do this, I have known him a long time before we got together and I trust him, however I never have my face in the photos and neither does he.

Its not sleazy, especially at the moment when you cant physically be together, but I wouldnt be sending them after a couple of months with someone.

That said, I wouldnt be dumping him either, all she needs to do is say that she isnt comfortable doing that. He asked for an undies picture, not for her to stick a carrot up her arse, seems a bit OTT reaction

I'd do this for DH because I trust him and know it's only ever him. Someone new? Not a chance.

I dont think it's sleazy to have a sexual interest in someone. Some people enjoy sending sexy pictures andy texts, some don't. If she doesn't want to do it that's fine and he should respect that but he wasn't wrong to ask. I think it can be sleazy if you have only just met someone and they ask for them straight away as it shows they're probably only in it for sex, but as she's been dating him only she knows what his intentions are.

It's fine to ask, also fine to say no. How he handles the no, if it is a no, will give an insight into him.

I don't think it makes him a sleaze, but she is more than entitled to refuse. And like a PP says, how he reacts will say it all!

Wanting to see your gf naked is in my opinion, normal, not sleazy. If he tries to pressure her when she says no, that's different

I don't think it's sleazy. I've sent some to my husband (before my 2nd child gifted me with a mum pouch!). I wouldn't send any that I wasn't comfortable with anyone else seeing (no naked ones). Not that he would show anyone anyway!

No fucking way

I don’t think it’s a big deal either way. It’s totally possible to take a photo which doesn’t identify you if that’s what you’re into. If she’s offended enough by the request I would say that they’re probably not going to be on the same page regarding other things so might be best to finish things.

@Windyatthebeach that is so funny!!!!

I’d be relaxed about it.

I'm going to agree with randomchap its how he deals with being told no that would be the deciding factor.

I had a guy once ask for a picture of my pussy. I sent him a picture of my cat 🤣

It's only sleazy if he's some random she's never met. Given she's dating him then he's NBU to ask, she just doesn't have to say yes.