To have packed up all the clothes I can't breastfeed i

[KatnissMellark]

Am approaching due date with baby number 2. Breastfed number 1 for a year, after a hellish start complicated by tongue tie and an extremely tired baby due to pethidine given too close to the birth. I am hoping to breastfeed again but realise it could be tricky.

Have packed away all my work clothes and all the clothes I can't breastfeed in, in an attempt to be organised and make life easier after baby's arrival.

In a conversation with friend, she told me this was 'presumptious in the extreme' and not to 'expect it to come easy'.

I don't expect it to be easy at all, especially not after last time but I am hoping to get through the tough bit as do it for a year or so again. It's not the end of the world of it doesn't happen, but it is my preferred feeding method and being organized seems sensible to me

Gah! Obviously title should read '...can't breastfeed in'

Sounds completely sensible to me. The likelihood is you’ll be able to BF - worst case scenario just get the other clothes out again!

I think you’d be a shade unreasonable if you had prepaid a six month rental on a lockup on the other side of town for those clothes. Assuming you’ve actually put them in a vacuum bag under the spare room bed where you can access them at ten minutes notice then...

You are obviously not unreasonable at all.

How bizarre of your friend to say this. Perfectly reasonable to get organised like this, especially for a second time mum. Is she generally unsupportive?

Argh so many questions!

Does she think you packed them into a nuclear war bunker four miles under the earth's crust?

Does she think if you wear breastfeeding clothes, but then do not breastfeed, some awful fate will befall us all?

Does she have form for insulting you?

Are you sure she's your friend?

Why are you telling her things that trigger weirdo unsupportive responses?

Don't confide in her anymore.

@IDefinitelyHaveFriends plastic box in our attic room sensible enough?

Seems such an odd reaction. She was very animated about it

With friends like that...

Is she always so supportive and lovely? Breastfeeding can make some people go a bit weird.

You’re being sensible. I’m probably going to do the same, not having another baby but DD is just over a year and shows so sign of losing interest so my old stuff is just taking up closet space and it’s not like I’m going anywhere fancy for the foreseeable!

Having overcome challenges feeding your first you’re in a good position to know how to access help if you need it with your new baby.

Being organised is sensible. Being optimistic is also sensible. The world is crazy right now and we need to create order where we can!

Wishing you all good things OP.

Assuming you’ve actually put them in a vacuum bag under the spare room bed where you can access them at ten minutes notice then...

Why would she need them at 10 minutes notice anyway? It's not as though clothes suitable for BF are in any way unsuitable for FF in.

I’ve done exactly the same: needed the space and planning on bf so seemed sensible?!

After bfing no.1 I didn't have any non bfing clothes left to even be able to pack away!

I had a hard start with my first but I knew what I was doing second time around and everything went much easier.

Breastfeeding makes people unreasonable. It is tough (perhaps impossible for some) and many women who try it and can’t proceed view it as a personal failure. Some narcissists then think if they can’t do it nobody should even bother trying in the first place. But having perservered through tongue-tie and excrutiating pain myself I think you have a better chance to breastfeed the second (if you want to) than others!

Did your friend have issues with BF?

As in she didn't / couldn't BF?

But you can still formula feed in the clothes that are easy to breast feed in if it comes to it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with PP that this is about your 'friends' issue or prejudice against BF. I think you've been sensible and done what I'd do. My DC were severely prem and when I asked for BF advice to begin with in preemie groups, I was told to FF, as BF a preemie is impossible

Did your friend have issues with BF?

Yes

My DC were severely prem and when I asked for BF advice to begin with in preemie groups, I was told to FF, as BF a preemie is impossible

My sil was told this too (she didn’t bf her first premie because of it) but was convinced to try for her second premie and found even with a hungry baby that breastfeeding was easier. There was no waking up every two hours to make up bottles, she just put him in the crib after a bf and managed to get extra sleep as a result.

Well that’s sad for her OP but not your problem. I doubt this will be her last unhelpful feedback on your choices so take this opportunity to review the friendship and see if it’s really serving you well.

This is about you, your breasts, your baby, your wardrobe and literally fuck all to do with her. But if she can’t keep her feelings to herself don’t feel you have to entertain them.

I did the same and haven't been able to breastfeed. I just wear the nursing clothes anyway, doesn't make a difference to anyone else.

Strange comment from your friend too, does she have kids and previously had issues breastfeeding? Is there some bitterness somewhere?

Nothing wrong with trying to be optimistic that it could work this time, every birth and baby is different.

Your friend is probably concerned for you and reliving the disappointment and anguish she went through. Just expressing it badly!

I still wear some of my breastfeeding tops and I haven't breastfed since September, they're comfy and are actually probably my nicest looking tops 🤷‍♀️