AIBU

[Beck30]

After the lockdown eases - visiting elderly parents

Let's assume that in some form, the lockdown ends in June (ish); are people thinking of visiting parents in their 70's this year? Stay away? Average life expectancy roughly 82-84 so 1 year without seeing them is a real tradeoff. Looking for peoples' thoughts

I'll be visiting my parents the first government sanctioned chance I get.

Me too inarrears. I'll be over there like a shot first chance I get, they are desperately missing their grandkids.

Katmarie - could the kids not Facetime or such like? I admit the same could be said about my folks

I agree with both pp’s I’ll be going to see both my parents and my grandparents I’m 7mnths pregnant and although I can FaceTime them it’s not the same thing and hoping that by my due date the lockdown may be lifted somewhat if not just have to suck it up but it’s my first and it been hard not sharing this with them.

My parents live in Italy... it's so sad they were supposed to come over for my sons birthday next month... but that wont be happening now... it's a long chunk out of my childrens lives for them not to see their grandparents if we cant visit for a whole year. And my mother has a degenerative illness....
I'm sort of hoping we might be able to get over there and of august but deep down I know it's not realistic

I’ll be visiting as soon as the government says it’s safe, with proof, ie no new cases, vaccine and/or effective treatment, or immunity tests.

I hate to tell you this but anyone can die any time from any number of causes.

Coronavirus is a red herring in this instance as people seem to have completely forgotten about heart attacks, strokes, cancer, aneurysms, sepsis, suicide, murder, car accidents, lightning strikes...

Life is short. As soon as lockdown is over my advice would be to go back to living.

I am actually wondering about buying a tent, or renting a motor home- my folks have a farm ( fields) so I could perhaps visit yet still keep distance. Obviously a big dilemna

Surely your parents aren't going to stay in quarantine for 12 months, and so will come in to contact with others at some point. I'm not sure camping in their fields will achieve much tbh.

I will be seeing my parents as soon as possible after restrictions end. Third baby is due end of June and obviously want my parents to meet my son as soon as they can. (Really hoping they can meet before he's more than a few weeks but not hopeful).

I'll be visiting mine the first chance we get. If nothing else, to check they really are OK. They don't like to be a nuisance but they're 100 miles away so I can't just swing by.

YABU for naming your thread AIBU

Fair enough Namechangerervaver , sorry just joined. Not sure of the formalities

I think it’s their choice whether to stay isolated after lockdown is lifted, rather than yours.

My father died without me having a chance to say goodbye, I won't be letting the same thing happen with my mother if I get a choice.

My parents are in their eighties and in declining health. My Dad is in the shielded group, and because he is the only driver of them (my Mum gave it up due to mobility and eyesight issues) that effectively places both of them in the same category.

I will absolutely be going to see them as soon as I am given half a chance. I really worry about what could happen during this lockdown if either of them gets anything, whether Covid 19 or anything else. I even fear about whether I will actually see them again.

Fair point InArraers but obvs there is a concern about killing my Dad 10 years too early! X

I am very sorry bettybattenberg. Deepest sympathies x

I hate to tell you this but anyone can die any time from any number of causes

Not this again! Why are people still not getting the risk. This is a highly contagious disease with a fairly high death rate. If we can avoid our elderly relatives getting it then we should be doing that. The other causes of death still exist, yes, but at least let's try not to increase the risk of covid-19 on top of those.

OP I won't be isolating myself from my parents for that long but when I first start seeing them again I suspect we will keep 2m apart and I also think i will avoid them if any of us are under the weather.even if we think we know it's not covid-19.

beck30 do they have more than one bathroom? if so I imagine the risk to them would be low if you sleep separately, use a different bathroom and also use allocated crockery, cups, cutlery etc.considering you will have been in lockdown prior to this you are unlikely to be carrying the virus but will have covered yourself in case you are.

Thank you beck30

Yes topseyt those are very much close to my feelings too x

Yes Frozenfan2019 they do have more than 1 bathroom. But of course the key is to ensure I can remember to use it! X

I will take the kids to see my mum before we do anything else social - we have been isolating as much as she has (possibly more when you consider our walks are taken in an empty wood whilst her’s are on busy pavements) so would be low risk.
Once we are socialising again it would be up to her if she wants to meet with us (probably she will say yes but outside only as this is what we did for the couple of weeks before lockdown)

@Frozenfan2019

Two people in my life will likely die before the restrictions are lifted, and not from COVID-19.

Two other people have had treatment stopped for advanced cancers. This will speed up their journey to the end, no COVID-19 required.

You don’t know the death rate of COVID-19, no one does, because people are not being tested. And because everyone who dies with it is being recorded in the death figures, whether it was the primary cause or not.

Life is short.

A brief pause that’s required to flatten the curve and “protect the NHS” which is the mantra being repeated at us, is fine. But longer term people need to be able to live again because you don’t know when you will next be able to see a person, if ever. We are ALL going to get this virus at some point. You need to accept that.