Irritating musical family

[CurtainWitcher]

Namechanged, as this is outing.

We moved into this house in Jan. A neighbour introduced herself and we clicked well as we have DC of a similar age.

I'm a Music examiner and teach at a local school (which her DC don't attend). She was very keen to let me know how musical her family are, even inviting me over to hear her children play their instruments.

The problem is that it's ramped up a notch during lockdown. Her DC have been entertaining the close (four houses) by playing their instruments in the street. She even joined them today (her DH is the only one who isn't involved, but she asks him to film it on his phone).

The thing is that this all seems to be very much aimed at me, and seeking my approval, which is uncomfortable and intrusive. DH is convinced that she encourages them to go out and play as soon as anyone steps out of our house. She's also sent me lots of videos of them, on Whatsapp. I always praise them, but it's getting ridiculous. Their playing is fine, but certainly not extraordinary.

WIBU to politely discourage their persistent performances?

Ah! Sounds like she's just trying to bond with you a bit! Maybe she wants a friend!

In theory, I'd say "never discourage a child from performing and doing something they love", regardless of their talent (or lack, thereof) but then I see all these videos of people singing on Facebook and I can't help feeling incredibly lucky for not living anywhere near them.

This is a good thread. I actually think that this might be one of those times when being direct might be the most polite course of action.

Something along the lines of "I've noticed that you've been playing instruments in the street quite often. {Husband} thinks that you do it for our benefit. That isn't actually the case, is it?" Then wait for her response. If she has any common sense, she'll deny it (and stop). If she says that it is for your benefit (and she might), frown and say that there really is no need.

If you go on about how good they are, it will never end. Please don't criticise the playing - even if it isn't brilliant, they seem to enjoy it.

This sounds awful and would drive me up the wall I say that as someone who thinks her own children are fairly musical although there's no way they'd do performances like this even if I wanted them to.

Given everything is so weird at the moment, with all the working from home, no school etc. I wonder if it might be the perfect opportunity for you to talk to her about the changes you're making in order to create a definite separation between home activities and work/school ones? Explain that it's something you and DH are putting in place to support the mental health of your whole family and that you're letting her know because you don't want her to feel as though you're being rude when you don't respond to her children's pavement performances or videos. Maybe mention it's something you've been thinking about doing for a while but with all teaching now happening from your own home, it's somewhat forced your hand. Ask if she'd explain it to her children so they're aware too. Add that your preference would have been to chat about it in person but that shouting from 2m away doesn't feel very friendly or neighbourly?

This made me chuckle OP but I would find it rather cringe and hard to keep a straight face when confronted with the wannabe Von Trapps . Hopefully you find a way to resolve it with no harsh feelings on either side .

We're a "musical family" but my god that cringey. I bet she's one of those women who's a "food blogger" and "y blogger" waiting for her kids to be the next best thing. Some fab suggestions here please update us on which one you choose 😄

*mummy blogger

Hopefully a Science teacher will move in on the other side and they'll start doing science experiments on the front lawn instead.
Or a drama teacher = Front lawn Shakespeare plays.

Hahaha! Hahaha! Great thread!

I also though this was going g to be about that family who did the "hilarious" and super staged Les Mis thing. I nearly cringed myself inside out, I had to keep turning over when they were on tv. Mortifying.

Come back OP!

What delights have you been treated to over the Easter weekend?

hopishere

It was shocking wasn't it?!
I couldn't watch 'til the end!

Probably busy burying the bodies.

I only have one suggestion. Tell her you left the musical examiner job months ago and come up with another similar profession to see if she changes her tactic. Tell her you're a talent scout for a Ballet School see if she dons the kids in leotards. Please do this and report back!

I love this I'm so sorry OP!

And poster with Keeping Up Appearances

🤣🤣🤣

@CurtainWitcher next time they start, make SUPER INTENSE eye contact and perform a lyrical dance piece.

NO SMILING.

Then when it ends (possibly in bewilderment) just calmly walk back indoors.

Every time she sends you a video of their masterpieces, send back an unsmiling lyrical dance routine. Every time.

just say "hmmmm yes..... ( with a grimace) with a few years of lessons they might have potential, possibly, if they practice" and turn and walk away

This has made me actually laugh out loud

Thank you OP

@InkogKneeToe That properly made me snort with laughter

Extra points if you screech at them (with prior agreement) for minor errors which don't even need to exist and scare the fuck out of the neighbours

Set it up with your children so Mrs Von Trapp sees them practising and hitting a (deliberate) bum note at which point you can scream “No! How many times do I have to tell you? Play it correctly OR THE BEATINGS WILL RESUME. Now, AGAIN. AGAIN!”

I think I’d reply to the WhatsApps with just a thumbs up or one word answers and then maybe if pushed say ‘great idea to film, you can send it to their teachers for some feedback so they can progress during this lockdown’. If pushed even further you can say “I’m sorry but I’m not going to tread on the toes of another teacher, it would be unprofesssional, and with us living so close together it wouldn’t be fair for me to pass comment on their playing as who would want their teacher or examiner hearing them practise? I hear all the bits before they’ve got it right, after all...”

I can't really bitch about a family I've never seen or heard.

Not really in the spirit of MN