Severe health anxiety and coronavirus

[Unusualusernames]

Please can anyone help me?

I suffer with extreme health anxiety. I'm finding being at home hard because I usually cope with my health anxiety by walking around keeping occupied.

This morning I stupidly cleaned a load of black mould from my bathroom and toilet as a way of distracting myself and I was fine all day but now I've developed a cough and my chest feels tight and I'm absolutely terrified.

I can't stop thinking what if I pass it on to vulnerable people in my house and they die. What if I die?

I don't know what to do. It's hard to cope with health anxiety under normal circumstances but coronavirus has made it unbearable.

Oh mate, so sorry you feel like this 😞 it sounds like you’re being super careful and I’m sure it’s just a reaction to the cleaning spray which will pass. Also remember that s serious as this is,the death rate will likely be a whole lot lower than what’s reported as it’s based on diagnosed COVID not everyone at home with symptoms. If only 10% of cases are reported then the death rate is only a little more than the flu xx

1. it's probably nothing
2. cleaning normal uk mould once will not make you ill. You'd have to sleep hours every night in an unventilated room with significant mould growth for days on end for it to trigger a respiratory response.
3. if it did you cannot 'pass it on' to others. (In this instance you believe you have sucked in mould spores, not caught a virus - 2 completely different things).
4. I would imagine your chest is tight because you are anxious and hyper vigilant to small possible symptoms. HTH

PS you won't die!

Have you been out for exercise today - a run or bike ride in the fresh air will clear away any feeling of the mould being around you.

What are you terrified of? That you have coronavirus? It's clearly just due to the mould, and you can't pass that on to anyone else. You'll be fine tomorrow.

Sorry you’re feeling like this. I’ve got heath anxiety too and thought I couldn’t breath many times since this has all started. I think I’ve given myself panic attacks hence the shortness of breath. Do you think you’re panicking and finding it harder to breath? Try and watch something you enjoy or do something inside to take your mind off it. Tell yourself It’s due to the mould or the cleaning solution and try not to think about it, stay away from the news at the moment, etc.

I have severe health anxiety too - and a lot of chronic health conditions as well - and I totally understand where you’re coming from, to the point I also deal with my anxiety by a lot of walking etc (In my head I’m thinking if I can walk about etc I’m okay)!

I have still been doing a lot of walking- granted I live rurally so it’s easier for me than most, but I make sure I get out for a long walk every day. Dragging kids along if I have to. Can you do this?

It’s probably the mould making your chest sore. You’ll be fine. Can you get some fresh air?

Thank you everyone for your replies. I tried avoiding the news but then I realised my job means there's just no point because the minute I open my inbox I'm faced with all the worst aspects of it. I feel like a selfish cow because this week alone I've spoken to people whose relatives have died from coronavirus.
I keep telling myself that it's not from the mould it's from coronavirus and that I'm going to get it and pass it on to people who will die. I realised that sounds dramatic. I wish I wasn't like this I really do.
In the week it's kind of manageable because I'm so busy with work. Today I got up and cleaned out entire cupboards and reorganised everything to try to distract myself and cleaning the mould was meant to be a distraction.
I don't want to be like this. When I go out it's only for a walk or to go to the supermarket but I literally freak out when anyone comes near me. It's ok in the street because I cross the road or walk in the middle of the road but when I go to the supermarket I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack because people keep coming near me.
I also keep freaking out at my family because they don't wash their hands as much as me.
I just don't know how to stop being like this.

@Bagelsandbrie I probably should have gone for a walk today. I live in London and I only like to go really early in the morning to avoid people.

@quarantinevibes I know for a fact my anxiety often causes me to feel physical symptoms so that's definitely possible.

Sorry to hear you feel so anxious. Today I listened to a calming and enlightening podcast all about managing anxiety in the time of Coronavirus. I recommend it! I hope it helps you.
howtofail.podbean.com/e/how-to-fail-m-gawdat-c19/

I have had pretty severe health anxiety, at one point I couldn't be on my own as I was terrified I was going to drop dead. Are you on medication? For me it has been great, although I know it doesn't work for everyone.

Thank you @MrsMortimer I'm going to listen to that x

@flooredbored I know this sounds crazy but I'm really scared of medication. I took beta blockers for panic attacks a few years ago and they didn't agree with me. The GP offered me citalopran but I'd met so many people it didn't work for and I was too scared of the side effects.

I've had CBT which I didn't find helpful really as nice as my therapist was. My dad died suddenly in his 30s when I was 7 and I honestly never worried about death until the day after my first daughter was born.

I experience very similar. I have to do occasional home visits for work - visits go fine, I enjoy work but that evening I physically feel ill- sore throat, tightness in chest, headache, awful panic and sleeping is hard.

It's happened three times in a row now so can prevent full blown panic attack by deep breaths, telling myself what I know is anxiety and being kind to myself - blanket on, cuddle up to DH, decaf tea etc

It's horrible, its absurd of course but knowing that makes it even more guilt inducing.

@Unusualusernames

It doesn't sound crazy at all! I was the same. I had my prescription for 3 months before I actually took a pill. But I got to a point where I couldn't really carry on as I was. I'm on sertraline. It has really changed my life. I also had CBT and didn't really find it that helpful. The medication for the first few weeks made me feel pretty weird, but then I started to feel a lot better. I still had lots of intrusive thoughts to begin with but it stopped me having such a physical reaction to them, so my heart wouldn't start racing for example.

My anxiety also started after having children, I think it is quite common. My anxiety was driven by me being terrified of dying and leaving my children behind.

Oh love, this is the worst time to have health anxiety. It totally sounds like cleaning products and the pollen count is high too. Maybe have a nice streamy shower, I don’t have health anxiety but I do have asthma triggered by pollen/dust/cleaning products and steam is always really helpful.
Others have posted some helpful links to managing anxiety at the moment so hopefully they’ll help x