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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that driving 800 miles for child contact is not in the spirit of this lockdown?

4 replies

OhamIreally · 10/04/2020 09:20

Have posted about my ex before. He left the family home when our DD was five. A while later he moved 400 miles away and had very minimal contact with DD. At one stage he went 12 weeks without so much as a phone call. I pleaded with him to have more regular contact but he was stonefaced and would not. He now sees her for approximately half the school holidays and comes down for a nice Disney jolly for her birthday. That's it. He was supposed to have her for half the Easter holiday but our flights and his were of course cancelled and DD and I are at home observing the lockdown. I can work from home, she has been doing school work, we haven't had to even go to the supermarket once.
Now ex has texted saying he wants to drive down and take DD back to his. AIBU to think that an 800 mile round trip is not really on in the current circumstances? If the restrictions increase she could well end up stuck there and even if she didn't it's another 400 mile trip for her to get back here. I know DD wouldn't want to be away from me for a long time either and he works for the emergency services so will have to work whereas I can work from home.

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 10/04/2020 09:22

No way. Who would look after her when he’s working? Very stupid.

motortroll · 10/04/2020 09:28

It's not just about the journey. She has been safely "quarantined" with you at home and joe he wants to take her out golf that safe environment into the wider world (they'll have to stop, surely no one would drive all that way without a stop and if he did how is that safe?!) and then into his home which has not been "quarantined" because he is going out to work!

The unnecessary long journey is not worth the risk and the exposure to Covid is not worth the risk. Regular contact between 2 houses that are taking precautions makes sense, this does not!

OhamIreally · 10/04/2020 10:39

Alwayscheddar he is remarried and would expect his wife to look after her.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 10/04/2020 10:45

YANBU.
Maintaining regular, local contact is important for a child's stability.

Many commited parents living hundreds of miles away are sacrificing their contact time because of the hazards of mixing households across large distances and the focus on avoiding all but essential travel.

Risking her being stuck in a household hundreds of miles away in a place that is not regularly her home is not good for her stability. They are used to longer phases apart already.

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