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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh no ... BiL has bought DH an Alexa ....

121 replies

MrsExpo · 09/04/2020 20:58

.... and now I am being ignored because I’m less than thrilled and just don’t “get” why we need this thing in our house. Either justify my reaction, or convince me I’ll love it (preferably with reasons .... because right now I’m appalled ...... ) Either way, AIBU?

OP posts:
Ferfooksek · 10/04/2020 08:50

We have them everywhere. Wouldn’t be without it

icanhearapindrop · 10/04/2020 08:54

We got rid of ours. My tech-obsessed DH eventually decided he didn’t like it security-wise, and not one of us has missed it at all. I especially love turning on lights myself now! I hated them being on a timer!

chipsandpeas · 10/04/2020 08:59

i mainly use mine as a speaker and listening to the radio

thegreylady · 10/04/2020 09:00

I ask it the time, the outside temperature, the news headlines etc
I use it as a radio, ask it to play Radio 4 and it does.
I like to think of a song or piece of music and ask it to play it.
It will tell you a joke or a story and if you have kids ask it how many days to Christmas !!!!
It can be annoying but it is just a toy. I like the delivery notifications too.

DemelzaRobins · 10/04/2020 09:35

My elderly father loves his - he struggles to use a radio etc. with his arthritic hands so Alexa is useful for that. He mostly listens to music on it.

I have a visually impaired friend who loves his - uses it to control lights etc., check the weather easily and access music, radio and news.

I quite fancied having one for the radio, and for reminders but DH won't have one in the house. When lockdown began my employer (Civil Service) instructed us all to switch off Amazon Echo and similar devices whilst working so that they can't hear our calls. I get what DH means now - I would worry I would forget to switch it off!

kimlo · 10/04/2020 09:39

we have 3.

They get used as timers, radios, to stream music and as an intercom.

The fact that they are listening all the time doesn't bother me, I'm near my phone more often than I'm near one of the alexas.

midnightstar66 · 10/04/2020 09:39

Dc no longer have to ask me endless questions- Alexa knows more than me anyway

User202004 · 10/04/2020 10:54

@MrsExpo but it's not yours, it's your DH's, so it doesn't matter that you have different ways of doing things. Do you really think Amazon, with its millions of customers, is sat there listening to you and your DH discuss what you'd want for dinner, particularly to do anything sinister? Just switch it off when you're not using it.

Original poster
MrsExpo · 10/04/2020 11:16

@User202004 ... couldn't disagree with you more. Just because DH has brought this thing into our home, doesn't mean I have to like it, use it, engage with it or in any way approve of its invasive presence in my living space. Surely if one partner brings something into a two person household, that the other doesn't like or has objections to for some reason, then the the objecting partner has a right to express their reservations and reach some sort of compromise on the issue.

And yes it does matter if we have different ways of doing things. We live together in the same house, and that means we have to reach acceptable compromises on all manner of things - from the decor, to what we eat, to what we watch on TV .... that's called being in a partnership. And if one person is doing something to which the other strongly objects for valid reasons, then that partner has the right to have their views heard and taken into account.

And, no, I'm sure Amazon doesn't sit listening in our discussions about what we're having for dinner or whether we should mow the lawn today or tomorrow, but that's not the point. It's very presence in our lives offends me deeply and I do not want this thing in my home. I feel I have the right to say that without being vilified.

OP posts:
drunkyhumptydumpty · 10/04/2020 11:19

And, no, I'm sure Amazon doesn't sit listening in our discussions about what we're having for dinner or whether we should mow the lawn today or tomorrow,

Actually pretty sure it does.

Chillicheese123 · 10/04/2020 11:21

I like you can ask for any song or band you fancy
Any radio station
Play Spotify through it by simply saying play Spotify
She tells me when someone is at the front door
Weather forecast

Chillicheese123 · 10/04/2020 11:23

Why are you so upset about it if you don’t think it’s listening in what’s the issue?

Can your dh not just use it as a speaker at least ? For Spotify or whatever ? I have radio or music on about 18 hours a day and it’s great for it

Parker231 · 10/04/2020 11:24

I wouldn’t be without ours now - have one in several rooms. Use it as a radio, alarm, timer, weather forecast, answers random questions. I’ve bought them as presents for people and they have been well received.

loserssaywhat · 10/04/2020 11:25

I actually love mine: I use it to play music mostly.
It's been great recently for the kids, they've played games and quizzes on there and my dd who's 5 loves the kids animal yoga programme on there.
It's been useful.

Badassmama · 10/04/2020 11:26

It’s an exciting new toy that your husband is thrilled with, you don’t have to ‘get’ it, just don’t spoil his fun! 😂

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2020 11:26

Blimey op, calm down. It’s not sitting and listening to you and if it was what the heck would it hear. 😂

I’ve four, to be honest i predominantly use them for music, I have them linked together in a group and linked to blue tooth speakers, my phone and the tv, and so have music throughout the house when I wish, in any format I wish, Ie downstairs, upstairs, everywhere, and always when entertaining, it works really well. The same song or playlist playing everywhere.

I’ve had them for years, so far no amazon bod has turned up shouting “wtf do you mean you’re having sausages for dinner”.😂

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2020 11:29

And if one person is doing something to which the other strongly objects for valid reasons

Totally, no one would disagree with you. The issue is you have no valid reason, simply a tin foil hat one, so it would be remiss of your husband to enable your behaviour.

CaptainButtock · 10/04/2020 11:29

'Don't worry, it's just a speaker'

No. No it really isn't. It is a listening device and it is always listening.
They are also stupidly easy to hack (just need your email address)

Chloemol · 10/04/2020 11:35

I would never have one, it had been proved they listen to what you are saying, all held in a data bank in the states and trawled through to mine the data

CaptainButtock · 10/04/2020 11:39

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/amazon-alexa-echo-listening-spy-security-a8865056.html

Took me about 3 seconds to find the above.

Please don't be so naive people.

CaptainButtock · 10/04/2020 11:43

I'm not even particularly techie but I hacked into a friend of mines to prove a point.

She then gave it to her MIL... Grin

FurryDogMother · 10/04/2020 11:51

I've got loads of the things - 4 dots, an old Echo, an Echo Show - and I love them! I use the one in the bedroom to check the time if I wake up in the night, and to turn the lights on if I need to get up for a wee. The Show is on my desk, and I play music or Prime videos on it when I'm doing other things on the laptop. One of the dots on my account is actually in a friend's house a mile away, and we can talk to him via the drop in function whenever we feel like it. I can make Skype calls, ask for word definitions, play my audiobooks when wandering through the house, set cooking timers, ask for temperature conversions for recipes. Every morning I just say 'Good Morning Alexa' and she gives me the UK and Irish news, and the local weather before I get out of bed. I've got a routine which I use when I get into bed - the lights dim and go pink, classical guitar starts playing, and it turns itself off after an hour.

I'm sure there are many other things I use my Alexas for - 'when is high tide (in my location)?' is one I've just remembered, also 'what time is sunset?' - and then there's all the music stuff, where I can be listening to a radio station and ask 'what is this?' and then 'add this to my playlist'. I've just asked her what the current numbers are re the coronavirus in Ireland, and she's told me the number of infections, deaths and recoveries (according to Reuters).

Honestly, there are so many uses for the Echo family - I'd really miss mine if they were taken away!

DollyDoneMore · 10/04/2020 12:02

We got one with our house - it monitors the heating etc.

I was quite ambivalent to it. I don’t relish the privacy angle but I would see that as a compromise if it was really useful. (I give Google far more of my information.)

But I just don’t think it’s very useful.

We already have better speakers and it’s in a big room so for music, radio etc it always sounds thin and tinny.

I don’t like being “told” answers to things. I would much rather read them. For Spotify etc, I much prefer scrolling through a list to find what I want. You can scan so much more information than when you’re being told.

It is good for setting alarms while you are cooking and yours hands are full/dirty. That’s about it for me.

DollyDoneMore · 10/04/2020 12:03

Also, I still find it a bit awkward talking to it. I don’t know what voice/register to use. I think it looks a bit stupid.