AIBU presents and cards

[TaraW20]

Would you give your 8 year old presents and cards off a grandparent who hasn't seen or spoke to your child in over a year?

My child has asked why he doesnt see her anymore and we dont want to lie to him but the truth is they just havent made any effort at all.

No I wouldn't. I would explain that they are lucky, they have lots of lovely people - (whoever that is - you, dad, uncle Fred etc) - who care about them and make an effort. These are the relationships to treasure. I would focus on positives and just move on with a simple 'no, granny Pam doesn't send presents or cards but that's not how people show love anyway - the real important people show up'

I've done the same with my 8yo, we focus on positive people and how lucky she is to have so many people who love her so much.

If they have sent things then that could be an olive branch. If that is believable about the person, then you should really give the gifts and leave it up to the child as to whether they want a relationship. This only stands for people that aren't toxic/dangerous etc and it wouldn't be detrimental to the child to have a relationship. Don't let pettiness get in the way.

If it's not in any of the child interests to pursue a relationship, send the gifts to charity. Or give to the child but don't say who they are from.