Last year was pretty awful and I had to make some life changes to stop myself falling into a depression. Before this crisis my life had totally turned around and things were massively improving and I was feeling really great.
I am still working p/t in a necessary job right now, but not NHS. This is stressing me out as I don't want to bring the virus back to my young family but I am happy to do it whereas a lot of my colleagues have chosen to be furloughed. I have, for the past 2 years, worked voluntarily for a charity and at the moment we have been stood down. They got in contact yesterday to ask me if I could start doing some things at home. I am also being asked to help out with my elderly neighbours, the people in my village and then we have our own elderly relatives who are on the phone twice a day upset and needing our support. I also have primary age DC at home.
I feel guilty because I am not doing more for the community and not driving round all day delivering prescriptions for people. Also feeling guilty because I just don't want to reengage with my voluntary role at the moment. It has nothing to do with sick people and I just don't have the motivation to help out at the moment. I feel like I need to look after my own family and try and manage my own MH whilst also going to my p/t job, which puts me at risk.
Feeling guilty though about focusing on myself but feel I need to shut the door and pretend I am not in to everyone until I have to go to work.