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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you know any couples whose marriage is in trouble amid all this mess and stress?

16 replies

FortunesFave · 09/04/2020 08:47

No fewer than 4 of my friends are currently in the process of splitting up or talking about it.

One to be fair had almost split last year but this has made it happen now. The others all thought they were ok. This virus has causes SO much stress.

OP posts:

InTheSummerhouse · 09/04/2020 08:59

There will be many. Domestic violence reports always increase over Christmas, Applicaitons for divorces and separation always increase in the New Year,

Discord is manageable when one or both partners are out of the house 8 - 12 hours a day. If living conditions are tight it is obvious what will happen.

What I would like to see is the virus stopping so many people getting together in the first place without thinking about how it will really work.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 09/04/2020 09:13

Yes mine, but it was anyway.

Thankfully I am still working because if I was trapped with him in the house all day as well as at night and the weekend I literally don't know what I would do.

PhilCornwall1 · 09/04/2020 09:15

Judging by a really explosive row I heard at 2:45am last Sunday morning in a house in the road behind us (and whatever house it was is a fair distance from us), there seems to be one marriage around here up against it. Never heard a row like it and I'm almost 50.

dizzygirl1 · 09/04/2020 09:16

We'd already made the decision to split and were sorting out our finances when we went into lockdown. I'm lucky our relationship isn't abusive but I'm struggling so much as I'd started to be free again and I'm back to being constrained. If it hadn't started until May we'd have been separated - it's so difficult living in limbo.

dizzygirl1 · 09/04/2020 09:17

And we're both wfh which doesn't help, plus 2 dc 😔

ColourMyDreams · 09/04/2020 09:19

Probably my neighbour judging by the absolute humdingers they've had lately.
They had one yesterday afternoon that almost lifted the roof.
I can't see them surviving lockdown. They will either be divorced or serving time for murder.

LittleAndOften · 09/04/2020 09:38

Yes. Mine. Its a fucking disaster.

BentBastard · 09/04/2020 09:46

One of my best friends. It has been hanging on a thread for months and lockdown and being cooped together so much has tipped it.

It's a bloody nightmare for her and there is nothing I can do to help which breaks my heart.

She'll still struggle after lockdown because she needs a job to manage alone (SAHM for years) and unemployment will be through the roof.

I don't know how to help her

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 09:55

I'm really worried about a friend who's with an emotionally abuse arseholeZ they're both WFH with 2 small kids, he needs ABSOLUTE QUIET while he sits in the office, then when it's her "shift" she's expected to take conference calls with a child on her knee, even though he's no longer working. In between that he's awful, she's giving me lots of updates. In very slowly trying to coax her into realising that, finally, it's time to leave. I don't want to freak her out by saying "he's a cunt, FFS woman leave him". It's making me really anxious, he's very volatile and I'm genuinely worried for her safety

Original poster

FortunesFave · 09/04/2020 09:58

Bent my friend's has been hanging on too...weirdly, the lockdown seemed at first to bring them closer....they were getting on better than ever but then suddenly it all went tits up.

She seems to be ok though. Not in an abusive situation like Glummys poor friend.

OP posts:

Lardlizard · 09/04/2020 09:58

Must be loads, surely divorce lawyers will make a killing shortly

EmeraldShamrock · 09/04/2020 10:05

Yes my friend she has asked him to go many times, he wants 40,000 to leave the house. She is an NHS worker, I asked her was she frightened working, she said she would rather catch the virus than be stuck home with him.

Allthepinkunicorns · 09/04/2020 10:05

Mine, It's also a shitshow right now. When this is over I need to go and get a job so I can survive on my own. I was self employed and have closed for the time being but have no idea how my business would get on after the lock down.
I'm quietly making many plans, I knew I needed to do it before but this has made me realize life is to short to be stuck with a bully.

IvinghoeBeacon · 09/04/2020 10:07

On my daily plod around the village I often hear a couple of absolutely screaming rows coming from houses (never the same one) as I walk past. There is a lot of simmering tension, it must be horrible to live with :(

IvinghoeBeacon · 09/04/2020 10:08

And those are just the ones that are audible

Dylaninthemovies1 · 09/04/2020 10:38

I can totally imagine this would be the final straw in a lot of relationships.

It’s made me realise that there’s no one else I’d rather be in lockdown with than my husband

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