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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how to reply, or respond at all?

43 replies

Rosebel · 08/04/2020 21:24

Today was nice weather so decided to tidy the garden up. My husband and daughter's came out a bit later and we all pitched in. Since it's a minor miracle to get my eldest outside I suggested a picnic lunch in the garden. After they played with water shooter and came inside around 3.
Noticed a note through our door later. It was from our next door neighbour asking if we could not spend so long in the garden as his children couldn't go out and also to be more quiet.
Am I right in thinking he's a tool as the children could have been out in the garden at the same time and yet he came right up to our door? His children are often out in the garden and noisy but I'd never complain. I didn't even think we were being noisy.
He's not working from home either so can't believe we were disturbing him.
So was I unreasonable to be out in the garden for about 3 hours? Would you even bother to respond to the note? I want to ignore it but my husband said we should apologize to keep the peace. Is,there a time limit to be in your own garden (didn't even think of that earlier)?

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 08/04/2020 21:27

I don’t understand why his children couldn’t go out, are they really small gardens where they’d be too close? Also as long as it’s not early in the morning or late at night then let them make noise; it’s one of the few releases kids get at the moment.

Pentium85 · 08/04/2020 21:29

"Hello neighbour,
Really sorry to disturb you. We all currently have the virus so thought it would be good to get fresh air in the garden to air the germs.
Enjoy the sun"

Twickerhun · 08/04/2020 21:31

He’s a tool.

ScarfLadysBag · 08/04/2020 21:32

Why couldn't his kids be out? Confused We were all out in our gardens today, neighbours on both sides with kids.

workercovid · 08/04/2020 21:33

He is a tool

k1233 · 08/04/2020 21:34

Isn't social distancing being 1.5- 2m from someone else? So unless you both have gardens a metre wide, you weren't preventing his children from going into their own yard.

I'd ignore him. Certainly wouldn't apologise as it would encourage other entitled behaviour.

pictish · 08/04/2020 21:35

Why can’t his kids go out?

Standrewsschool · 08/04/2020 21:35

Err, why could his children go out, unless he perceived they within 2m if your children. It’s fine for your children to be outside (and good for them).

There’s no time limit to be outside.

SilverBangle · 08/04/2020 21:36

Uh? Of course you and your children can go in your garden - as long as you haven’t invited anyone else over.

Some people are just bonkers!

Blueuggboots · 08/04/2020 21:37

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You what??
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That would be my reply!

FTMF30 · 08/04/2020 21:37

I'd ignore it to keep the peace tbh. They wouldn't want to hear what I'd have to say.

Butchyrestingface · 08/04/2020 21:38

I would put a note through his door.

"Dear Mr Mad

Don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Have your own squawky brats finally driven you round the twist? Seek help.

No love,

Neighbour"

SamSeabornforPresident · 08/04/2020 21:38

I'd just say 'oh, we don't mind your children being outside, too!' And see what they make of it. You did nothing wrong, don't let them make you think you did.

Rose789 · 08/04/2020 21:38

I would camp out in the garden for the next 2 weeks.
He’s a dick ignore

FancyPants20 · 08/04/2020 21:39

Leave a note through his door "Fuck off, you complete tool."

(Don't actually do this. He is a complete tool though.)

Sparkletastic · 08/04/2020 21:39

Are his children ill perhaps?

Reversiblesequinsforadults · 08/04/2020 21:40

He's a tool.

BraveLittleDragon · 08/04/2020 21:42

Is it a communal garden?

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 08/04/2020 21:43

Would you even bother to respond to the note?

Yes, as follows;

😂😂😂😂😂
No

Wineislifex · 08/04/2020 21:50

He sounds an idiot. Defiantly don’t apologise as you’ve done nothing wrong and an apology is admitting fault. I’d ignore the note but if I saw him in person I would ask what his issue is!

LizzyButton · 08/04/2020 21:56

You've got some notelets?

"Dear Tool, it's unfortunate that you were stressed when we were in the garden. Please don't let our being outside stop your dear children from being out in the fresh air. These are difficult times, but as the Queen says 'we will meet again' and I Iook forward to us catching up for a chat when these stressful times are over. Thinking of you [Name] x"

The small x for a kiss is essential.

sonjadog · 08/04/2020 21:56

How big is your garden? How big is the fence/hedge between you? If there is an issue with distance, then I would take the note seriously, if not, I would ignore.

GoodnessSake · 08/04/2020 22:00

Ridiculous, you did nothing wrong and he's a moron, 3 hours is nothing but even if it was 10 hours it's none if his business, unless you were throwing rocks at his children or something

justanotherneighinparadise · 08/04/2020 22:03

Oh no definitely ignore. Act like you never received it. This social isolation is WONDERFUL for distancing yourself away from twats and arseholes. If he tries to discuss it just make sure you’re far enough away from him so you can’t hear a word.

Original poster
Rosebel · 08/04/2020 22:03

The gardens aren't small and it's not communal either. The children on the other side of us were out and it didn't even occur me it would be a problem. I think I will just ignore but I'd he sends another note I'll tell him I don't mind his children being in their garden while ours are in mine.

OP posts:
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