Maternity leave and access course. Too early to leave baby?

[Delizhop]

Hello,
first time posting

I’m due may 17th and already started my maternity leave due to coronavirus. My work is really unreasonable and I’m unsure if I will return

I’ve been wanting to go to uni for years, and having a few failed jobs and now the pressure of a baby it’s just something I need to do. I want a job that’s best for me not passing through things always. I’m 24 this year

I’ve been looking at uni courses but need an access course to get in.

First of all, am I able to go to college whilst on maternity leave or will this stop my smp? My job is accounting assistant and the access course is business so I could say it’s to improve my current role. My job have also made my partner redundant so I fear if I tell them they will just get rid of me so can I just not tell them?

Secondly is leaving a four months baby with my mum two days a week far fetched? Should I just wait a year for her to be older? Would I be a horrible mum to leave her so early for 2 days?

Any help please,
Thanks

You can do some access courses online. Depending what you want to study you could also do a degree online.

There are also many other training routes for various careers that aren't as time consuming and expensive.

Everyone feels different. You may feel differently about leaving your baby when they are here. Also, how you are going to feed your baby might change things.

The main thing you are going to suffer for the first few years is exhaustion.

You will need someone to care for your child while you do some of your course homework as well as when you are actually at college.

You also need to be super organised and be prepared to deal with curve balls like your baby being sick.

I went back to work when mine was 17 weeks old. Though my LO was with her dad.

I do have to SILs who managed to study with 2 young children. One was doing an MBA. They used childminders and their husbands (my brothers). I apparently helped as well.

I'm not sure what the rules are concerning SMP and courses.

However concerning leaving a 4-month-old with your mum for 2 days a week... I'd have no issue with that at all in theory, it doesn't make you a horrible mum at all. Coincidentally my husband has left our baby with me 5 days a week so that he can go to work each day, and he's done that since he was 4 weeks old (see what I did there ).

If your mum is happy to look after the little one then it'll be lovely for her to get so much time with her grandchild and I'm sure your baby will love all of the different experiences they'll get from being cared for by different (but consistent) people.

Also, well done on going for additional qualifications. I'm sure there will be days where you question yourself but I'm sure it'll be worth the effort and I wish you luck

I went back to work full time when my DC were around months old. Not every one has the luxury of a long maternity leave. The first time was harder than the second. With my second I did go part time after the first couple of months back which probably helped. The main thing is to be prepared for being tired. My DC slept through quite early at 3 months. Some still don't sleep though at 2 years old! Emotionally, it is hard to leave your DC but that's common regardless of when you are going back. You just have to do what you need to do, accept it and get on with it really.

I don't know if doing a course will impact on your SMP. If your employer makes you redundant now they will still need to pay your SMP (was at risk of redundancy myself when pregnant).

I have no advise on the financial front tbh but I did an access course then dd2 was born in the summer holidays between years 1&2 of my degree. She had to go to nursery and a childminder from 6 weeks old 4 days a week while I was in uni/on placement.

I’ll be honest, it was tough leaving her and if I had another option I wouldve waited but it wasn’t possible. She was absolutely fine, she loved both settings and thrived as she got older, they were super understanding with me too. She’s 4 now and not scarred from the experience.

I was told several times that pre-9 months was prime time to start a baby in nursery so that they’re settled before the separation anxiety kicks in. There are plus points to start them a little earlier

Would I be a horrible mum to leave her so early for 2 days

you are leaving her, which you will find hard, to better yourself educationally to provide for her in the future. I'd say that's the actions of a pretty damn amazing Mum.

Have you considered the Open University, which is all set up for distance learners?
www.open.ac.uk/courses/business-management
You don't need A-levels, although if you haven't studied since school, the OU has its own access course which might be helpful: www.open.ac.uk/courses/qualifications/details/y032?orig=t27&air=1

You can spread the study as suits you, so perhaps only doing 30/60 credits a year while she's little (full-time is 120 credits), and stepping up once she's in nursery/school (or not, if you go back to some part-time work). You probably couldn't do 60 credits without some childcare for your daughter to give you study time, but the timing can be more flexible, rather than having to leave her for whole days.

You can create whatever life you want. I have a DD who is now three and have been working full time and doing a masters part-time for the last yr since I kicked out useless H. Do whatever it is you need to do for you...