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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people you just can’t help

20 replies

Singlebutmarried · 08/04/2020 18:27

I mean, we’ve got a local FB group set up and they’re coordinating prescriptions ,food deliveries, a telephone tree for those with no one, and loads loads more.

There’s one person on there that constantly says, but what about me. They’re young, pregnant and a single parent. So self isolating and would struggle even if not sure to issues with child/pregnancy.

People are bending over backwards to help her, but the prescriptions being delivered need to fit with x time, the baby clothes offered are right, the people doing the shopping aren’t getting the right brands.

My word woman. Have a word with yourself.

People are helping you.

Grrrr

Rant over.

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlebutmarried · 08/04/2020 18:28

Baby clothes aren’t right. Not branded etc.

OP posts:
ViciousJackdaw · 08/04/2020 18:38

I get the impression that those who are self-isolating and therefore not going to the supermarket have no idea what it's actually like at Tesco or wherever right now. We couldn't have imagined it ourselves really, that stocks would be so limited and ranges minimised. I've certainly had to have a 'Look. This is all there is. Take it or leave it.' conversation with someone myself.

She does sound like a pain in the arse though. Being young, pregnant or SM is not a free pass to be a picky fucker right now. She needs to be told straight.

Boulshired · 08/04/2020 18:39

I had a nightmare yesterday but I am giving the lady I helped the benefit of doubt that it’s stress talking. I went to click and collect at Asda then had to go into ASDA to get the items she forgot to put on her order. The looks from people queuing where horrid. Then she complained that the substitutes were wrong and could I pop to Tesco to see if they had them in. I’ve known her for years and this is not her normal behaviour.

Bringringbring12 · 08/04/2020 18:41

Oh come on - cut her some slack
Young
Pregnant
Alone
Self-isolating

BadgertheBodger · 08/04/2020 18:45

Oh don’t, I offered to collect a prescription for a neighbour last week and she sent me to the wrong pharmacy - 5pm on the Thursday and I said I would go back out Friday morning as I had to get my toddler home for his tea. Friday morning I fielded 4 calls before 10am where I patiently explained I would go before lunch but had a few jobs to do and wanted to squeeze in a run before my husband went to work. Went for a run, came back to 3 further missed calls and a really snotty voicemail grandly informing me she had found someone else as I obviously wasn’t going to manage it. This was 10.45am Hmm

Siameasy · 08/04/2020 18:49

Why do people pander to this nonsense? Treat them like kids when they turn their nose up at the very meal they demanded for tea. That’s all there is. You don’t have to eat it. But that’s all there is...ungrateful woman.

Original poster
Singlebutmarried · 08/04/2020 18:50

Every request is ‘I want’ as well. I think she knows what’s going on, she’s bleating on about people in parks and not going out unless you have to etc.

It’s just the ungrateful ness of it all.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 08/04/2020 18:50

I think this is called “Goldilocks” too big too small too hot too cold too hard too soft etc and all the while she was an uninvited interloper!

Ginginwine · 08/04/2020 19:00

I have had a very similar experience shopping for a relative of mine. She’s just lost her job, is always pleading poverty (on Facebook) and is self isolating as her DS has symptoms. I arranged an online shop to be delivered, just a few essentials and treats I know her and her son like. A lot of it was subbed but it was still generally a good haul. A few fruit and veg, cereal, pasta (yes pasta), wine, chocs etc... and a kids magazine. She messaged me to say next time can you just get me a voucher so i can choose what I want? The whole point is she is self isolating and doesn’t have a delivery pass so wouldn’t have had any food otherwise. I wasn’t doing it for the self virtue. I didn’t even post it on social media 😀 I just love her and she’s my family and I didn’t want her to starve! I didn’t tell her it was coming as she would have given me a list as long as my arm and it would have gotten very expensive for me.

She also got a local volunteer led food box and was moaning that the contents are horrible and she won’t eat any of it all.

I won’t bother again.

UnaCorda · 08/04/2020 19:08

Where's her partner?

ArkAtEee · 08/04/2020 19:14

Wow ginginwine, you are a much kinder and more patient person than me. How entitled.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 08/04/2020 19:22

I would give her a proper warning that she really needs to change her attitude. I am not saying people getting help should have absolutely no standards, but there is a limit. Lots of things are simply not available. And moaning because baby clothes are wrong brand is frankly so ungrateful she wouldn't be getting more.

BMW6 · 08/04/2020 19:27

I would tell her straight to cop on to herself or she may find offers to help her evaporating

rookiemere · 08/04/2020 19:29

I think a lot of people are acting out a bit at the minute. My parents are in their 80s and live an hour away, so I'd organised a milk delivery for them except it didn't come for some reason last Friday. My parents were beyond anxious and ringing up their head office then ringing me to see if I'd ring them up, then I got an email from DF asking for their email address. Then DF (86 with diabetes )started threatening to go and buy some himself.

In order that they got some milk I asked a lady who lives near them to go out and buy some. Phew says DM when I next speak to her " I almost had to use your fathers blue top milk". They had milk all along - just not the type that is DMs favourite.

They are normally very self sufficient, but I think not being able to go to the shoos themselves has throen them.

Recoverandthrive · 08/04/2020 19:33

Sadly some people are very entitled.

Fatted · 08/04/2020 19:34

Go out and get it yourself then love.

I'm only helping family. It probably sounds selfish. I'm still working as in leaving the house and going to work right now. So for me, I've still got the usual day to day grind, as well as home schooling and having no child care and constrictions on what I can do when. There's no just quickly popping to do anything anymore. So 'just one thing' for half my family members does start taking its toll.

staceyflack · 08/04/2020 19:38

I've been shopping for my 89 year d mum (we'll let her off)... she keeps reminding me after I've been to Tesco, that Iceland really is her favourite lasagna. No, just no. 😏

CSIblonde · 08/04/2020 20:25

I think 'me, me, me' culture means a lot of people refuse to compromise on anything at all any more. They're so used to always getting what they want even a Pandemic isn't going to change their mindset. Also, if you don't regularly watch or go online re the daily news like some people I know, they've little idea re shortages & restrictions etc. My neighbours don't watch TV & wouldn't read online news either.

rubberoftheband · 08/04/2020 20:35

There is a saying, don't bite the hand that feeds........ she needs to consider this!

OscarWildesCat · 08/04/2020 20:45

My FIL is a bit like this, he's 76 and in a vulnerable group with a lung condition and yes, I know, he is old and hasn't been out, yadda yadda but my God my patience is wearing thin!. Go out for a shop for family of 4, his list is longer than ours and he lives alone, requests are very specific then he'll call later the same day asking if we can pick him up certain things, today's request was 200ml strawberry ice cream, just when we are, "out and about" Hmm I hear you, its difficult for everyone but clearly prople just arent getting it OP. I'd be very tempted to tell her she IBU.

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