How did you decide CM amounts?

[wlucy]

How did you decide an appropriate child maintenance amount without resorting to the official service? I'm happy to go through them as a last resort but ideally want to keep things as civil as possible with my ex.

He want to work out what the kids cost, subtract the child payment part of my UC and the standard child benefit and then make up the difference. He says my rent, heating etc doesn't count as kids costs. He's on 2k a month, I'm at the end of my maternity (but not back yet due to covid), will be working part time and topped up with UC. On mat pay and UC I currently get 1k a month.
He says that's fair as the child payments 'given to me by the government' should go solely on the kids (they should and they do) but he fails to appreciate that I can't work more hours because he doesn't have the children and this is why I get topped up by UC.
Is this fair? Or am I being unreasonable on wanting him to consider the fact that I can't physically go out and earn more because I do all the childcare? Every month I'm scrapping money together for the heating etc and I can't understand why he doesn't class those as his children's needs. He also doesn't have many outgoings atm as he has been living with his parents since we split.
Please be kind in your comments! X

Id use the cms calculator and then tell him that the minimum he needs to pay is xxx and its irrelevant of uc and child benefit. I hate a man that will not pay for his children, luckily my ex isnt one of them, hes just taken a 25% paycut at the moment, ive offered to let him reduce maintenance and hes refused citing the dc are at home and my bills will be higher with them at home.

@GaraMedouar that gave me giggles. I have to go find an opportunity to use it in real life. Cocklodging!

Your income and bills are absolutely fuck all to do with him sorry for swearing but this really winds me up

It's his responsibility to contribute financially to his children's upbringing

Online calculator followed very swiftly by CMS if he starts trying to negotiate you down

Start with cms as a guide.

Tell him that’s the minimum expected but obviously he is a great dad who wants nothing but the best for his kids so another 50 percent of whatever cms is calculated at would be what he surely would consider as the minimum. Or else work out the cost of the DCs regular activities, pocket money, school fees, uniform costs and add those on to cms
I expect he’ll scoff at you in which case go straight to cms and lodge a claim. Don’t expect him to hand over a cent willingly. Sorry op what a loser

Gingerscallop - yes and cocklodger is the noun! Equally useful - plenty of those around to avoid !

When I was single I used to live in a small one bedroom house. My mortgage was less than £300 a month. My heating, electric and water bills were low.
Now I’m married with 2 kids. I now live in a 3 bed detached house and mortgage is now £600 a month. My bills are higher as there are 4 of us having baths/showers so the cost of heating the water and the use of the water is higher. Also I have to have the heating on more as I can’t expect the children to make do in the winter months.

My food bills are higher as more mouths to feed.

If my husband and I separated, I’d still have all those outgoings above. Apart from 1 less shower a day.

Your exh is a twat. Don’t negotiate, go through CMS.

The CMS calculator amount is the minimum that he should pay you. He needs to pay for the food and entertainment costs on his days as an extra. That is the minimum required by law.

If he's being awkward now, I think he'll be constantly trying to get away with paying less especially once he has a new gf and wants to have fun with her or it's Xmas and he thinks that he shouldn't have to pay for gifts and CM.

It's not about what the children cost, it's about how much he earns.

The children deserve a lifestyle in line with their parents incomes. If his increases in time then his maintenance will have to increase whether their costs have gone up or not.

From what you've described I'd use the official service to be honest but if not then at least use their calculator

And also - it's none of his business what UC or child benefit you get. That's for you as the primary carer. It doesn't take CM in to account and visa versa

@Justabitworried.. It looks like i'm entitled to about £80 a week. Thanks so much for your help! I think I may have to go through cms as it didn't occur to me (someone else posted) that his wage will likely increase as he works his way up and the kids should get a percentage of that, and I definitely don't think he would increase it off his own back.