Would you do this ?

[cheesenmarmite]

It's my mother's 90th birthday next week. We do her shopping for her and one of us phones her and tells her it's coming now and then we leave it on her patio doorstep of her sheltered housing apartment and go to the end of the path (about 15 feet away) and wave while she takes it in. It's been the same one of us that goes each time.

She's got really upset that it will be her last birthday and that she will die without seeing us again because she's high risk due to medical conditions.

I think we shouldn't do it but wibu not to ? Or

Wibu if me and the teenagers went and I put the shopping on the doorstep as usual and they stood at the end of the path to wave?

Both are wrong 🤷‍♀️😢

You taking her shopping, an essential trip
You taking your children to wave at her, not essential trip

The longer people keeping bending the rules just a little, the long this goes on for and the longer your away from your mum.

The more people bend the rules just a little, the more likely we all are to lose the option to exercise once a day if we wish

If everyone stuck to the rules the government have given us the quicker all this will be over

Buy her some flowers and a little gift in with the shop, to make her birthday a bit special and get your children to call her for a chat.

That's what we'll do, it's horrible isn't it - whatever option we choose is hard, even the right one.

Can you loan her or does she have an iPhone / iPad / tablet / laptop and you can all FaceTime / Skype?

If she’s computer illiterate which I know many older people are (my Nan is) then I suggest leaving some recent photos for her to look at and giving her a phone call. It’s all you can really do in current circumstances.

Can you leave her a spare/old iPad or iPhone? And tell her all she has to do is answer it when it’s rings, you could even ring her normally to tell her your going to FaceTime her now. That’s way she can see you all safely.

I personally cant see this is the end of the world - you're nowhere near each other?

If your teenagers live with you and you're therefore one household I can't see how there would be anything wrong in all standing at the gate and waving. Sounds like a lovely idea!

You're making the trip for shopping for a vulnerable person? Essential.
There's nothing in the rules to say that the teenagers can't wait in the car while you shop then wave from the end of the drive.
It's the same trip.

I'm sure I've read this op before

What @screwcovid19 said

There's nothing in the rules to say that the teenagers can't wait in the car while you shop then wave from the end of the drive.

They won't have to do that - we aren't going to the shop as we are having our shopping and hers delivered to our house and will then take hers round to her. It's too far to walk or we'd do it as our daily exercise. At the moment I'm just going to do it on my own, she'll have to talk to the DCs on the phone (something which she hates for some reason, she won't use the phone unless absolutely essential) and make do with that.

As for facetime...it's about as likely as the pope renouncing catholicism but it's a good thought.

I'd do it. You aren't coming in contact with anyone and I would stick to only yourself handling her shopping while the kids stand at her gate to shout hello.

You driving the car to take the shopping is an essential trip.

Cars are requested only to do essential drives because of the risk of accidents etc, not because they spread the virus per se.

So taking the teenagers only adds the risk that were you in an accident serious enough to need medical treatment, it would be all of you and not just yourself. It doesn't add spreading virus risk, nor increase the chance of your car being in an accident in the first place.

Wibu if me and the teenagers went and I put the shopping on the doorstep as usual and they stood at the end of the path to wave?

No, you wouldn't be. You are one household in the same car, so not mixing with other households, and you are providing care for a vulnerable person by dropping off the shopping. Maybe get the teenagers to do a thing with holding up cards giving her a borthday message (you know, the Love Actually thing).

I'd do it.

I don't see the issue? You could all take a walk together so what's the difference? This is actually actually so fucking sad.