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AIBU?

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Always on his phone

6 replies

missuscellophane · 06/04/2020 23:41

Name changed etc.

DH’s attachment to his phone is getting to a point where it’s doing my head in and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable about it or how to address it. He’s so defensive about it and quick to anger if I try to talk to him, and he makes me feel like a nag. Maybe I am.

He can’t manage to go through dinner without being on his phone (mostly news and social media). I only want him to go without for 10 or 15 minutes while we eat but he is incapable and thinks me unreasonable to ask.

If he’s not on his phone he’s playing online games on his PC or Xbox which he can’t just pause, because he’ll die/lose/whatever.

Our baby is refluxy and screams a lot and I’m finding it hard to deal with. Baby was screaming again at the weekend and I was close to breaking point, I asked DH to take over so I could have a moment to compose myself, he said no because he was in the middle of a game.

He’s never listening to me because he’s always lost in his devices or thinking about them. Increasingly I find us having the same conversations again and again because he hasn’t been listening (he pretends to listen by smiling and nodding at the right places). It used to be funny but its upsetting me now. Recently he commented that I’d been a bit quiet, I replied that I was surprised he had noticed because he was so absorbed in his games. He didn’t reply and when I looked over, I realised it was because he was on his phone again and wasn’t listening to me.

I’m sick to fucking death of it. He’s also pestering me for sex all the time, but I find his mental absence and general attitude so unattractive that I’m just not at all interested.

I don't really know why I'm posting, I guess AIBU to want him to pay more attention to the kids and me? I feel so lonely and invisible.

OP posts:
Asswipe · 07/04/2020 00:00

This reply has been deleted

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Guyonhere1 · 07/04/2020 00:03

What @Asswipe

Jellybean27 · 07/04/2020 00:05

Definite red flag. YANBU.

Zombiemum1946 · 07/04/2020 00:12

Been there. A few very full on arguments were had. Dc is his child too, time to grow up and be a parent. As for sex, until you've had a few weeks of rest and he's behaved like an actual parent he can get stuffed. There's nothing sexy about a grown man behaving like a teenager.

MadMaggiePie · 07/04/2020 00:17

I had the same issue with ex partner and felt the same. It was a regular source of stress and caused many arguments but never got any better. He was totally detached from family life. I found out recently he was seeing other people...and kicked him out.

CuppaZa · 07/04/2020 00:21

You have a baby and a teenager OP. I’ve seen a few of these relationships and they don’t last.
If an adult man with a baby hasn’t grown up yet, he never will.

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